Does self esteem really come from others or yourself?

Question

They say only you can make yourself feel good and it comes from within. Then why when someone builds up my self esteem i feel better and can make it through? If someone dosent i feel like crap. Whats the truth?

Answer 1

the key word is SELF! ideally you should be able to feel however it is you are going to feel about yourself regardless of everyone else. if you let what other people think of you shape what you think of yourself you'll go crazy. everyone has a different opinion and those opinions are formed for different reasons. for example someone may think you're smart but ugly and at the same time someone else thinks you're dumb but cute. so what's it gonna be? now what do you think of yourself?

Answer 2

It's your value system at work. You still feel what everyone else thinks is the most important thing. Now, I grant you, when you go out all looking good, it is a great turn on to hear someone else affirm that. But the real clincher is, before you leave the house, look in the mirror and affirm the same thing to yourself. Now that I've covered the superficial stuff. There are other things which help give self esteem: a good education which helps you get a good job which you are proud and happy about and then good friends and relationships to fulfill you. Also any kindness you do builds up your self esteem points as well. These are just some ideas. I know you can do even better for yourself if you just think about it. Good luck, you will do well.

Answer 3

Both. Self-esteem comes from within but our peers also have alot to do with it. They can make you feel great about yourself or bad. You have to turn the negatives into positives. When someone says something to tear down your self-esteem turn it around into something positive. you know your good qualities use them to show people what kind of person you are.
As you get older you care less and less what people think about you and your self-esteem will improve. Lol.

Answer 4

your self esteem can be influenced by both yourself and others.

you can tell yourself you suck and you believe it so your self esteem goes down.

if a person says that to you the result is worse.

same goes when you or another tries to make you feel good about yourself.

though if you have high self-esteem it's harder for people to put you down. the lower the self-esteem the easier people can put you down.

Answer 5

the enduring self esteem comes from within

when people build you up, they're tapping into your ego so it gives you a temporary boost. you have to be careful with it though because the ego boosts can make you dependent on them where you feel like you don't matter unless someone is praising you.

Answer 6

self esteem is your perception of how others feel about you.
it requires human interaction. if you lived alone on this planet, you would never have low self esteem. most people have low self esteem because they see ridiculous things on television and believe them to be true.

Answer 7

sometimes you take things too seriously. think if someone said something really bad you just say dude that was not too kind of you and you forget about it but the other person who says it feels really guilty about it. and if you just start looking towars your good side you'll realize that you are something and you definately have some value.

Answer 8

Personally, I think its a bit of both. But a former counsellor told me, if someone says something negative about you, just tell yourself "Its their stuff; it has nothing to do with you".

Answer 9

it can come from both sides,but if u feel good about yourself, and dont care what people think than u should feel great.........................