What are your thoughts on being 'brutally frank'?

Question

Are there instances that you really need to be such?

Answer 1

Pray first and remember how good Jesus was at dealing with people. He would tell someone something good about themselves and then tell a parable that the person could draw from. Sometimes it is not what we say that is bad but the way we say it. "Be ye kind one to another".It is so important to settle things day by day and not let them build up because the scriptures warn us to not let the sun go down on our wrath. When someone tells us something negative about ourselves it is not good to throw it all away but to listen and learn from what they say. Even tell them thank you and that they are appreciated because you know it probably was not easy for them to do that. When we protect too much then there is no growth. Harshness is not acceptable but that is different than frankness. God bless. Mmm

Answer 2

brutally frank. hmm... sometimes it is necessary to be brutally frank. yes. like sometimes you need to stand your ground and let the truth be known. it might hurt someone's feelings but it is vital to be told. in such situations, being 'brutally frank' is not an option, but an imperative. like if someone thinks i like him/her, and i don't and i have my reasons, then its better to tell that person so instead of going on with a false friendship or any other relationship. sometimes, someone else might take credit for your brainstorming and at such times you should know better than sitting low and let the other person receive the praises.
so, yes, being brutally frank is necessary. perhaps only in strained situations. otherwise, it is advisable to be compassionate and see yourself in the other person's shoes and choose your words wisely.
i read this really nice story- where the boy is bad-tempered and his father asks him to nail a wall everytime he has an outburst and he learns to control himself. and after a while, he needs to nail no more. then his father asks him to remove each nail everytime he has learnt to control himself successfully. and there's a day when he has removed every one of them and then his father explains that the holes in the wall are feelings that have been hurt and sentiments that have been trodden upon and explains him the need to be compassionate unless it is very necessary.

Answer 3

sometimes.

Sometimes you try to be subtle, to let people down easily but they just don't get it. When it becomes obvious that only the unvarnished truth is going to get them to pay attention to what you are saying, then you have to be brutally frank.

Let me give you an example:
a student comes into my office. He has applied for a student loan and based on his situation, I tell him what he is eligible for. He doesn't listen. He keeps going on and on, asking "what if I do x?" "what if I have these expenses?" "what if I say this?"

At some point, I have to say to this person "listen! This is what you are eligible for. " the student continues asking the same questions and getting the same answers. The next day someone calls me from one of our other campuses. The student has called them to ask the same questions. He got the same answers. Later in the week, the student loan people contact me to tell me that the student has tried to call them to complain that we have not given him correct answers. In actual fact, we haven't given him the answers he wants to hear.

So, the next time he calls is time to be brutally frank. "Do not ask me these questions again. You already have the answer. this is all you will get, no matter what you say or do. Now when you've decided if you want to go to school based on this amount of student loan, call me. I am not prepared to take any calls from you on any other issues. Good bye."

Answer 4

We should treat each other with a little thing called "tact". First off, you have to discern whether or not the issue that you wish to comment on is even your business to mention in the first place. If it is (and remember that opinions are like @$$holes - everybody has one), then use the most tact you can muster. Its *never* nice to be rude and to hurt anothers feelings. Pull them aside and never speak your mind in front of others when its not their business either. At the very least, write a tactful but honest letter. I'm glad you asked this though...most people just act like hurtful @$$es, so thank you for the tact you displayed with your question.

Answer 5

Yes there are instances that you need to be brutally frank (BF) if your concern is not being carried out by the person you addressed. You get the attention to resolve the issues if you expressed it by being BF. From there the details are tackled and ultimately the issues are resolved.

Answer 6

If one is frank, open and overt in expectations of others, I don't think there is a need to be brutal at all.

There is always a reason for people to "under perform" at times.

I don't think there is any excuse for intentionally hurting people either emotionally or physically.

Answer 7

--If you mean purposely unkind , No --I would not agree!

--The most straightforward man to ever exhist without hatred, meaness, etc. was Christ.
--WHEN HE was indeed "brutally" frank, ESPECIALLY with the religious leaders, he indeed RIGHTEOUSLY judged them as a group and as individuals!--
--Being able to truly read the heart unlike any of us!
--What qualified him in a very special way, was he indeed , in my estimate, was the Son of God!

--WE DO NOT have that kind of power and perfect judgement so then we have to temper our reproofs & rebukes!

--ALTHOUGH I agree with some if we are being attacked or bullied we indeed need to blunt with a righteous purpose, but again the situation would indeed govern.
--AS A teacher & coach , there was a difference with my reproving a rude student in my classroom & rebuking my gymnasts for trying something dangerous without my supervision!

Answer 8

being too abrasive will just shut some people off. That's fine for you but it doesn't make them listen or see. There's lots of things people don't see. Making them enemies does not enlighten them.

"What it all comes down to is I havn't got it all figured just yet. But I've got one hand in my pocket and the other ones flipping people off."

Alanis Morriset (remixed by me)

Answer 9

Well, in my opinion "brutally honest " people have a mean streak in them and are narsisstic. There are ways to be honest about something without crushing peoples emotions to make your point

Answer 10

Sometimes I am "brutally frank," and yet sometimes I feel like being "brutally ernest."