CHARACTERISTICS of A Woman that Would make A GOOD WIFE? What Advise should I give MY SONS in CHOOSING a WIFE?

Question

Hello People! I have this concern, hear me out! I am the proud FATHER and Daddy of 3 boys, Age 19 College Freshman, Age 18 High School Senior (High School Grad in June 2007), Age 14 10th Grade. As a loving father, I am very much concern about my sons' future, especially when it comes to being successfull in intimate relationships, for example in commencing and maintaining, a rewarding relationship with girlfriends and a future wife! RIDDLE ME THIS PEOPLE! What can I do? What can I say? What advice can I give my boys that will help them choose wisely; A Girl, Girfriend, Future Wife? I do not want my boys to experience the pain of a divorce like I have! I want them to pick A WIFE, that will stay with them UNTILL DEATH DOES THEM PART! What Do I tell my boys people? Thank You in advance!

Answer 1

in my opinion a spouse should be chosen based on his/her characteristics. there should be the initial attraction and chemistry...but it shouldn't be based totally on looks. they should observe the way the person behaves, his/her values, the way he/she treats the people closest to him/her. If the person is totally fine with their partner, but have disrespect to parents, brothers, sisters, friends and so forth....that will show later on in marriage. if the person is kind to all and has a set of values that they stick to no matter what, this person will be kind to his/her spouse and committed.

The couple should have practical compatibility...i.e. not total opposites, yet not the same either, a common ground of values, and beliefs. this is a good start the rest you build on.

I will say this and I may shock plenty of people, the love you know before you get married is NOT real. Real love comes from working hard on the relationship and building it together. LOVE DOES NOT ALWAYS WIN...in fact if there is no common ground LOVE DIES and you have nothing left.

Last is GOOD COMMUNICATION. when a couple has common ground, similar values and believes, good characteristics, good communication is key to keep everything running smoothly. there will always be hard times, disagreements and arguments, if you know how to communicate your wants and needs well to each other, with hard work it can be a happy and rewarding marriage.

what you can do as a father is set a good expample of being a good, kind human. teach them good communication so that they may voice their opinions with respect and calm.

Answer 2

Well, personally, I tell my daughter, the following:

1. Don't choose someone based ONLY on looks. You hear people say it's whats inside that counts, and there's a reason for that. Thats because what's on the outside will change over time, so you need to love what the person is on the inside too.

2. There's not going to be a choice. Can't choose to fall in love, it just happens. But the key is NOT to rush into anything. Get to know the person that you're dating, falling in love with, and/or marrying.

3. Make sure that the relationship is 50/50. Love, respect, honering, and honesty.

When I got married my older brother gave me a jar that had 200 silver dollars in it, with a note. The note said...

This Jar is like your marriage. If you take more then you give, then the jar will be empty. If you give more then you take, then the jar will spill and cause a mess.

I've taken those words into everyday life. Any relationship is 50/50 - you must give and take, be honest and truthful, and communicate.

If you cant do those simple 4 things or if either of you gets pissed off because of any of them, then you have nothing. If you can't communicate and be honest, without the other giving you grief, then you have nothing.

Give respect, but also demand it. I've seen too many young men 19 and 20, following their girlfriends around like puppies, and doing their every whim. That's not a relationship, that's a guy thinking with the wrong head.

Remember "the rest of my life" is a long time. So what's the rush, if they love you, they'll wait until you're ready.

I have too much advice to give!!!!!!!!!! lol

Answer 3

Characteristics Of A Good Wife

Answer 4

I think it is great that you want to give your sons advise on their future relationships. Of course things can happen no matter what but my suggestions would be that they look for a women who they can talk with. Communication is key to a healthy relationship, and teach them that they need to communicate as well.
I think a good partner (whether a man or women) is someone who is loving, kind, unselfish and supportive. So if your sons are like this, and they can find a women who is also like this then perhaps they will have the "Until Death Do Us Part" type of marriage.

Answer 5

Mr Downtown, I am afraid nobody has that crystal ball. Doctors and lawyers have divorces as much as people living together and leaving each other with kids. Heirs of wealthy people need love so much that they abuse themselves.

There are Do's and Don'ts.
Do's: Tell your boys to finish college and equip themselves with skills so they contribute to society. Build character, integrity, and respect of people in general. We call this good citizenship.
DON'Ts: don't get girls pregnant before marriage; don't live beyond their means and be stuck in financial holes; don't get into sexual relationships casually (this is prelude to casual marriage).

One should NOT lay the responsibility of being a good person on the other side -- as you think a good wife will make your son whole. The only person you have control of is yourself. Start with that first. Each person has a moral compass, part of which is religion dependent. You are the father and you are instrumental in defining the parameters for your sons' moral compass.

Answer 6

I applaud your concern for your boys' future relationships. The attributes that make a long term relationship, regardless of whether its the man or the woman, are loyalty, a willingness to compromise, respect for the other, a healthy understanding of their likes/dislikes and a common wish for their future.

Sharing a lifetime together requires alot of work and an understanding that there will be valleys that will strain their long term commitment. But if you honor your vow to stay together till death do you part, those valleys will become mountains over time and you will grow old loving each other more and more as time goes by. God bless!

Answer 7

Well first off you change as a person too much between 18 and 25 so if you pick a wife before you are 25 it's pretty much dumb luck if she ends up being right for you, so that would be number one. Don't make the final decision until you are at least 25.

Secondly, you want them to pick someone who is great on thier own, indepedent emotionally and financially. Your sons should look for someone who is already has a great life, and is looking to enhance it, rather than someone who is not complete without a boyfriend/husband. It's not fun being someone else's crutch.

Finally, you want them to pick someone who is as much like them as possible. Studies show that opposites do not attract and people get along better with others that share their hobbies, values, and world view.

Answer 8

Don't bad mouth your wife to your sons. You don't want them to feel disloyal to her by agreeing with you. What you need to explain to them is that if they choose to get married, that will be the most important deciding factor for happiness the rest of their lives. It is sad that a teen or young adult makes mistakes that haunt him or her the rest of their lives. One example would be getting a girlfriend of two weeks pregnant. You don't love her but you will be connected to her the rest of your life. You will pay child support, have to see her on a regular basis, and try to build a relationship with the kid. Now the problem? You meet this wonderful girl at college. She is beautiful, intelligent, great personality, etc. You fall in love with her. She cools to your situation immediately when she finds out you have a child. She wants no part of sharing you with some girl you knew for two weeks let alone dealing with a step child. This will also mean that you may not want more kids with her. After all, you already have one. Understand? Explain it this way. It is true. Lots of situations like this that affect a teen's future happiness or lack of it. Good luck, Dad.

Answer 9

That's kind of a tough question to answer. I can understand how you would not want your kids going through the same things that you did... But it's always hard to say what someone should or shouldn't do to find the "right" one.

I mean, there is the obvious things.. Don't date a woman that's cheating on her husband to date you.. because there's a very likely chance that she is going to do the same thing to you.. (In fact, in all likelihood that would be the case).

Be wary of people that seem to be always moody. I don't mean that in a bad way, but unless you can handle that type of thing, your marriage is not going to last (and that goes both ways.. don't be moody either)..

Learn to 'discover' things about a girl when you're dating.. get to know her.. learn about her.. really listen to her when you're dating.. understand things about her.. hopefully then you won't be shocked with things like "well I told you .. blah blah".. etc..

I don't know.. I am not the best to give relationship advice of course.. :)

And.. of course.. these things go both ways.. men can be cheaters.. moody.. and stuff like that.. so.. yah.. :)

Answer 10

Marriage is about commitment- a long term thing. If he can see himself with her in 15, 20, even 50+ years down the road, that's a good sign.

Marriage is about friendship. If she's his best friend, that's huge points in her favor!!!

Marriage is also about trust. Advise your sons to NEVER EVER EVER!!!! get in any kind of relationship with someone who has lied to him.. or FOR him!

Happiness is the whole point of life... If her being a part of his life brings him happiness, contentment, encourages him to be a better person- take that boy to a jewler!

Teach your sons the difference between love and lust. Love is kind, tolerant, patient, happy, calm.... Lust is full of anxiety, impatience....