Ophra Winfrey show today. Women if you're living in a battered relationship get out! Would this story help you

Question

Today's show about a women's courage to get out of her abusive relationship, was a very power full message. Women if you are in such a relationship get out. If it includes children, do not stay in a relationship cause of the children. Men who beat and abuse women will not change their behavior. Would this story help you to leave him?

Yeah, I know what you mean. I know what women go through. My deceased husband would get into rages when he was drinking. Thank goodness he never became violent like that guy. It deserves him right to be in prison. I wished he would be in there for live.

This question is a great one to ask. Like males like Devouy answered. He does not see the picture. Sometimes, men who deny the truth, have seen violence in their own childhood and are immune to it. It has nothing to do whether I have too much time on my hand. It has to do with declaring war on men who over power women who are in their relationships. As a retired Social Worker, I have seen the out come of violence in families and relationships. I think it was a very powerful story that has been aired.

Answer 1

I watched part of it late last night.....it brought back many many memories....none of them good.....I wish it were as easy as telling a woman to leave......but until they have that moment of clarity when they see what they are living in they don't......I used to believe it wasn't that bad for me cause my ex-husband never punched me in the face.....although he broke my arms....strangled me....stuffed socks in my mouth to shut me up.....pulled hair....kicked me in the belly.......I left when he held me at gunpoint and raped me...because he thought having another child would bring us together.....the thing I can stress though is when you are leaving.....make a plan.....and be safe....the most dangerous time for anyone leaving a violent relationship is when the abuser looses control.....get into a shelter....get therapy for yourself and your kids......so you can get healthy and change the cycle of abuse ..........file police reports....keep all important papers and records in a lock box with someone you can trust....for me it was the shelter advocate.....don't believe them when they say they are sorry.....because ultimately they don't change and if they do it's only for the worst.....anyway sorry for the rant......thanks for the question

Answer 2

you just don't get it. & you never will unless you've been there. domestic violence is a cycle of behavior. battered wife syndrome is a mental disease. it's not as simple as packing up & leaving. everyone knows that it shouldn't be happening including the victim & the offender,but the truth is.....the women involved are as much to blame as the men.

i grew up in domestic violence. i knew it was wrong, i hated it, i hated my dad & i couldn't understand why mum stayed.

funnily enough at 17, i myself entered a violent relationship. i took my son & left after 3 yrs.
at 21 i got married to a man who turned out to be worse than my ex...........go figure. i kicked him out after 4 yrs.

WHY???
my parents trained me to be a victim. what i witnessed as a child was etched into my psyche as a normal and acceptable relationship. no matter what society or any individual said it just could not erase what i had already learned. the majority of victims AND perpetrators come from a home like this and as adults recreate their parents relationship.
to be brutally honest, i now know i was asking to be hit. my body language just screamed it! add that to 2 people who are already predisposed to that behavior ( yes both of those men had also come from violent homes) and you've got yourself the perfect recipe for disaster.

leaving only stops the direct threat, not the cycle of abuse.

anyone can change their behavior if they really want but it takes extensive self evalution & counselling. a relationship CANNOT be maintained or entered into during this time. the individual must be totally committed to fixing themselves.

i am a success story. i am in a long term relationship (8yrs)with a great guy........he has never raised a hand to me but i no longer push for that either.

Answer 3

If you're familiar with hypnosis, then you've no doubt heard of Master Hypnotist Steve G. Jones. His book, "Ultimate Conversational Hypnosis" has been voted as the best hypnosis course ever made. The book is also available in electronic format at: http://www.hypnosistocontrol.net

If you want to get an edge in everyday communication and lead other people towards your goals this is a must read.

Answer 4

I wanted to puke ... but ah, although never physically abused ... I have been in that "Frozen" stance before ... um, I best describe my experience (which is a tiny glimpse of what she went through) as being hypnotized by a vampire. It was like watching a scary movie, and in my head I was saying "Get out ... run" ... just like I do when I watch scary movies ... but when you're mentally captured by a person who wants to torture you ... well your stuck.

Physically, if a person was hit over the head with a hammer ... we'd expect to fall to the ground and can't get up and recover ... I think the same thing happens to us spiritually and mentally too. Oprah's always asking, "Why didn't you just leave?" ... but I would say you don't leave because you're tied up/ incapacitate / or turned-off to survive.

I would imagine if I were being beat like that woman ... well, I'd still feel displaced and be acting like it was a movie I was watching. I don't think the show helps but rather hurts. The more we get numb to these situations ... the less likely we're going to be able to use our instincts when we really need them.

Answer 5

I saw it too. I am not in one of those relationships, but I completely agree. I just wanted to jump through that t.v. and kill that guy.

Answer 6

It woulld not help me as I am not being battered, though most would love to think so and do so dine on that on that very thought.

Answer 7

Why do people watch this nonsense? Is your life so devoid of things to do that you need to meddle in what others do? Listen to others whine and gripe about how bad they have it?

**** Oprah, and **** you.