Women: How do you feel about your spouse/partner making more $ than you?

Question

My boyfriend and I like to think we're in an equal-footed relationship, but he will finish school before me and begin his career while I'll still be struggling to get where I want to be in school.
Once we're both working in our careers, he'll be making at LEAST $10-$15 grand more than I will. I always wanted to be economically equal in a relationship.

Women who work fulltime yet make less than their husbands/boyfriends/patners--how do you feel about it? How does your partner feel about it?

Thanks!

That's supposed to read "HOW do you feel about it"

Thanks very much for the polite and helpful answers.

There is NO NEED for these rude remarks, however. How DARE you criticise my relationship without having adequate knowledge/information about it? I did nothing to ask for personal attacks, so please stop now. Of COURSE we'd share in a marriage--I'm just very used to earning my own way and I don't like having my way paid by others, whether in a romantic relationship or otherwise. So STOP with all the horrible insults, please.

And don't you DARE tell me "your marriage is doomed"...we're not getting married for years!!!! why would you overreact that way? it's just an issue I foresee and want to deal with right now before it becomes a problem.

Why are you people so judgmental??

WTF are you going on about, Cierra??? Did you even read my question? Obviously not...I really don't know why I'm even wasting my time with you right now.

Answer 1

It really should matter to you that he's making more than you, if you are in an equal relationship, then, you won't be struggling, he'll be helping you. Don't stress so much attention on the equality of money...there are other more important thing to focus on.

Answer 2

The fact is who cares who is the main bread winner in the family? I know that you asked for answers from women, but I just had to give my opinion. My wife has always made more than me, it is just a fact. She is a VP with a major bank (and I am very proud of her by the way) and I was a chemist for a long time, now in school to be a teacher. We have never had an issue about who made more. She has been in the computer field her entire career, so her salary soared. I made excellent money, but my increases couldn't keep up with hers. The point is, who cares? The money goes into one account with both names on it. I don't care who puts the money in the bank as long as it gets in the bank. You shouldn't care either. Marriage is a partnership, just because one partner brings home more money does not mean they have more say or influence on the marriage.

We have been married for 14 years. When I got married my Mom told me to check my ego at the door. That was some of the best advice I ever got, and maybe you should do the same. The male ego is a fragile thing, most of my buddies at first think that I am a pansy or something because I don't care my wife out earns me. When they really think about it, they are jealous beyond belief. A hot wife that makes a lot of money? In your case a hot guy who out earns you. Are you serious? Where is the problem? Does it mean that you are contributing any less to the marriage? I think not.

Answer 3

My husband is a realtor, so he makes about twice as much as I do a year. I work mostly to have spending money for trips etc. But I have the health insurance with my job....so I feel it evens out. I don't mind that he makes more than me. My marriage is a partnership, not a contest. My husband has never said anything about the money I make. He's proud I have a job that I like and we can afford our lifestyle.

Answer 4

No, i do not care. I comprehend that the female there are after the adult males or females for funds. There are not interested in any project else. and that i understand there are very strict regulations at maximum places about what's permitted. i don't experience degraded in any respect. effective my husbands each and every each and every now and then likes the educate. Occasional he unearths relaxing to pass with acquaintances. I went with them once after we were in Vegas for an individual league hockey tournament. It became type of relaxing for me. i became under no circumstances jealous or insecure for a minute even as there. adult males get grew to change into on by seeing different lady each and each and every of the time. lady with and without clothing. an similar should be suggested about married lady, even with the truth that they're a lot less probable to admit it.

Answer 5

I dont care who makes more as long as we're making it....Look in the US it is a KNOWN FACT that women will always make less than men, your educated why are being weird over this issue? When im out of school and in my career I will be making WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY more than my fiancee is making now, and he seems excited about it, he cant wait and neither can I. I think your putting too much emphasis in the money issue that It should be.

Answer 6

Well considering that I am a stay-at-home mom, I think it is wonderful my husband makes more than me...lol. Just because I am not bringing in any money, doesn't mean I don't contribute as much as he does to the relationship. We are equal in our marriage. I am responsible for caring for our two little children, which in itself is a full time job. It doesn't matter who makes how much. Any money brought into the home goes toward the same things. And I don't think he would care, if when the kids are in school, I got a job making more money than him. As long as you can pay for the things you need, it doesn't matter who makes more.

Answer 7

My husband makes all the money. I don't have a problem with it at all. I work and he works, but my job doesn't pay in money, it pays in experience and special moments with our children. In that regard, I make way more than he does. There are many moments in our children's lives that I get to be a part of and he misses out on. If he could change it so we could both be home with the kids all the time, he would do it in a heartbeat.

Answer 8

Sorry, but I do not understand where you are coming from. There are many people who make more than I do, I make more than many. I don't expect my mate to be jealous because I make considerably more, and in fact, my mate certainly benefits from the arrangement. Perhaps you would prefer that your other half earn 10-15K less than they do???? would that make you happy? This is not one of the brightest questions I have seen here. IF you are going to go on the Women's lib thing with your mate, where does it stop. I assume you do not have equal jobs. IF you want to earn more, then change fields, and get more schooling. Good luck...I certainly hope this is the biggest problem you encounter in life.

Answer 9

It's a marriage, not a competition. Sorry, but you'll never be perfectly equal with regards to pay, unless you're both working a checkout stand somewhere.

Honestly, how is this even an issue? I own my own company that does pretty well, and my husband is in a completely different career field, and he outearns me by about $50,000 a year. I couldn't care less. What he brings into our marriage, just as what I bring in, becomes OURS.

Answer 10

it doesn't bother me the only way it would was if we had the same education the same experience and the exact same job then it would but since my husband works in the coal mines and i don't, i expect him to make more after all he does risk his life every day under ground and he travels out of state and back every day so he is on the road alot going to and from his job