Letting baby stay overnight with father's new girlfriend?

Question

I am separated from the father of my children. Although we are trying to be civil about it for the children, it has been less than 3 months since we separated, and he may be moving in with his new girlfriend. I have nothing against her, but she is not divorced from her husband yet and has 2 children. I've warned him that because my older son has learning disabilities and needs stability in his life and his brother is only 8 months old, that I will not allow overnight visits if he plans on moving in with her. If they married, then it's not my business, but I am concerned that both of them moving in together shows instability and a lack of independence on both of their parts. He debated that it "wouldn't be fair for him" but I'm not concerned with his fairness, only being fair to my children. The last thing I want is for them to get to know this woman and her kids, then he moves on to another girl within a few months. Will I need to hire a lawyer if this happens? Thanks.

I'm not doing this out of jealousy lol. My problem is that in a scant 2 months of dating, the girlfriend has already cosigned for some loans for my ex, and I have a feeling he may be moving in with her to simply get out of his friend's house. I don't want my kids or her children involved if they wind up splitting soon, and so far I've received no child support, so I may wind up ordering child support, even though I don't want the courts involved. I simply would rather wait until they've lived together for at least 6 months and get along alright, or they get married, instead of becoming attached to her and her children and then separating.

Answer 1

its only been 3 months thats not a long time.i would try to get to know her better and see how she is around your kids.also i think it would be better to wait until your divorce is final so its easier for you and the kids to accept.remember until you are divorced you are still married.it is not about his girlfriend it is about your family unit.it may be easier for him to stay at your home on his weekend visits with the kids and you can stay at a friends or your parents home and gradually introduce her as a friend.you know go to the movies or come over and share pizza and watch a video.divorce sucks especially when you have kids.good luck remember you love your kids more than you hate the girlfriend it will be ok.

Answer 2

sure it is common in an NHS scientific institution. you're allowed to stay all day and night for the duration of the labour yet after the toddler is born your female pal would be moved to a positioned up delivery ward or room the place different women folk would be staying and that they won't want a load of adult males around. Sorry yet it rather is in basic terms the way it rather is. She'll be abode till now you already realize it. Take your concepts off it by way of getting your place waiting, sparkling & tidy, perform a little procuring, pre-prepare dinner some nutrition so as that as quickly as they get abode there isn't something to do different than take excitement on your new relatives. Congratulations - happy circumstances.

Answer 3

Along with your divorce there should be a custody order that specifies visitation. If he is allowed overnight visitation than you will be violating your court order by not allowing the children to stay with him in his new home. I completely agree with you that they have no need to spend the night there so I would suggest requesting a modification to your custody agreement. Go back to court and get it all documented before he takes you back to court for violating the original order. DO WHAT'S BEST FOR YOUR KIDS . . THAT'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY!

Answer 4

You are 100% correct in not allowing your kids to spend the night with his shack-up girlfriend. You can make that part of the divorce decree. Your ex is going to have to decide if living with the bimbo is more important than having a good relationship with his kids. Don't back down on this one. It's not healthy for your kids to be in that situation. Good luck!

Answer 5

I don't think there is anything you can do.....You will have to prove that your children is being neglected or put in harms way for overnight visits but, if you can't then he will be allowed to have your children stay with him and her. I know its hard and I am experiencing something similar but, our boys have not met his girlfriend yet....It's been two years since their father has been with this girl and they have no intentions of being around her. They are alittle older and he knows if he pushes her on them then he will be pushing them away from him....So it works in my favor right now.....I think the best thing in your case, is to meet with her with your children and your "ex" and talk it out like adults. Let her know where you stand as their MOTHER.....After all, if she is going to be around them, you do have that legal right....For the sake of the children, you have to try to come together for them.....
Best of Luck***

Answer 6

just to clarify things....if he lives with the new girlfriend, you cannot deny your ex of overnight visitation. no judge will allow that unless you have just cause that the children are in danger. just like it is your decision to date anyone as soon as you feel like it...he is allowed to date anyone as soon as he wants to. as long as he is providing them with a home and a place to sleep during their visits, you have no say so. sorry, but that's the truth, my ex went tried the same thing with me, as soon as i got pregnant and married he had a fit. wanted to take full custody of my children just because i had a baby. idiot.

Answer 7

i understand i wouldnt want my son 2 stay w/ my ex's new g/f esp b/c i dont feel another woman should be doing my job as a mother.........

Answer 8

You are just jealous....this woman is already a mother, and I am sure she knows how to comfort an infant and has changed her share of diapers.....

unless she is some crazy ex-con, you know in your heart you have NOTHING to worry about.