Currently married and I am pushing to seperate then devorce in the long run. Can I just pack a suit case and leave? The spouse says that she will not sign a separation nor a devorce, probably becuase she thinks no one will ever want to be with her or something. I just need to get out of this lifestyle, three years of misery and losses.What will happen if I just leave and never come back?
2007-05-08 09:49:40 · 14 answers · asked by ptcruisher2001 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes you can just leave, but contact an attorney. She can refuse to sign the papers but the divorce will eventually go through anyway. My ex refused to sign, it took longer but the divorce still became final after 2 yrs. Each state is different. If you leave without checking the law she may be able to file against you for abandonment. Good luck
2007-05-08 09:54:47 · answer #1 · answered by glbenner 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sure... you can take the easy way out and just get up and leave.. You can do anything you want in this life...
The only thing you should to consider are the consequences (long term) for your actions.
When you dated (hopefuly you did) bet you saw some warning signs or a preview of how life would be with her... thing is...you just choose to ignore them and now after 3 (THREE) long miserable years you want to bolt. Wow! how sad is that.
You made a covenant agreement with your Creator about this woman and now you're choosing... to exit stage left (so to speak) because the going is rough. Hummmm? Is that adult behavior? Think not! Thing is you are not too mature if you're running away from your issues.. problems...responsibilities... wife.. etc.
Difficulties... misery and losses will come.. because that's part of life and seriously...who knows.. you may choose to move on somewhere else or to someone else and a new crop of issues... misery and losses will rear it's ugly head. It could come in the form of children, in-laws, neighbors etc. The point will always be how handle them. Do you work it out, deal with it or manage it? Prior to you thinking that moving on and cutting your "losses" is the answer consider this...Get counseling... Get counseling and one more thing... Get counseling.
You and your wife should have considered and received marriage counseling for no less than 6 mouths prior to making the big step.. ..but heinsight is 20/20. Remember marriage is "for better or for worse and for keeps" What the Creator has joined together let no man/woman, boy/girl, in-law/outlaw put assunder. That includes you! Find out what your issues are and what her issues are. Unresolved issues from your past, childhood, trauma, social/cultural habits etc. all play a huge roll in what shapes a man or woman for the future. Choices they make evolve from these issues and can seriously harm or kill a relationship with a quickness. So don't throw the baby out with the bath water....
Work it out... instead of running out.
Alrighty then... there you go!
2007-05-08 17:13:34 · answer #2 · answered by 247 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know where you're coming from. It's very painful. If you leave and never look back without confronting your conflicts with the spouse, granted she will eventually have no choice but to file for divorce and maybe file it for abandonment. Situations like yours sometimes end up with the spouse running away being taken for all he or she got.
If you really feel there is no hope in your marriage, file for divorce and see if she will contest it. Then both of you will have to get it all out in the open. On the other side of the coin,
If there is still a ray of hope for the two of you, seek counseling. Bottom line IMHO.. don't run away but rather face the problem like a man. Hope there are no kids involved.
2007-05-08 17:08:01 · answer #3 · answered by MrTwister 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We I understand about being happy cause i now have been divorced for 3 years this year being 28 my advice is making sure you are leaving for the right reason, meaning nor for another woman, cause if that be so remember the old saying what goes around comes around . If you are leaving for other than going threw drama and being unhappy knowing that it will not work will get you in a world of mess, no relationship or marriage will be peachy, but leaving for the wrong reason sooner or later someone will do it to you
2007-05-08 17:34:31 · answer #4 · answered by jenhiai39232 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been married? Are there any children? It is a free country, you can do whatever, however...she could get you for abanding her especially if their are children. If you have a job, they can legally just take support out of your check, especially if their are children. If she is refusing to sign and you are truly that miserable, don't run, it will catch up with you. Get an attorney and let a judge handle it. E-mail if you want to talk and Good Luck:)
2007-05-08 16:56:00 · answer #5 · answered by oursnowbaby32 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can loose everything you have and owe her alimony to boot. She will take for for desertion. Go see a lawyer and see what your right s are. I used to work in a law office and the domestic laws differ from state to state. Be smart or you WILL regret it later. Never leave the home until a lawyer has advised you. Consultations are ususally free.
2007-05-08 17:40:50 · answer #6 · answered by browneyedgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any kids? It gets really sticky with kids and / or joint property.
If you're in the US, she can't stop you from getting a divorce. She can make it painful, but not stop it.
You need to separate your debts, and all your accounts, credit cards, and contracts. If there's a lease or a car loan or utility or a car title with your name AND hers on it, you need to get your name off. If you own property together, or if you have utilities in your name, she can ruin your credit by not paying the bills. Don't forget the cell phones or the land line.
If you have no joint property, such as cars or houses, and no children..and can get your name off things..then you can go with fewer concerns.
2007-05-08 16:59:28 · answer #7 · answered by Kaia 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
nothing is stopping you from walking out with a suitcase.
However, she can wreck your credit if you don't take steps to protect yourself.
You don't need her to sign a separation agreement, but you shoudl consult a lawyer.
If you just "dissappear" you will still be married, and she can create debts that you may be forced to pay. Better to just end the relationship legally.
Talk to a lawyer and good luck
2007-05-08 16:54:59 · answer #8 · answered by voxwoman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She will be highly pissed! You have to have closeure in a relationship. You have rights to get a divorce. Where i live you can get and fill out divorce papers on your half, turn them in, if the other spouse doesn't in a certain amount of days then the judge will grant a divorce without her concent. If you have proof of adultry then you can divorce her without questioning.
2007-05-08 16:55:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know where you live but in most states she cannot stop you from divorcing her. Leave, file for divorce on the grounds of 'irreconcilable differences' and even if she wants to fight the divorce in court, as long as you stand your ground and tell the judge you don't want to be married to her, you will get your divorce. They MIGHT want you to go through a short period of counseling, but if you are determined to get divorced you will get it. Don't just leave and stay married to her! As long as you are married to her you are jointly responsible for any debt she incurs!
2007-05-08 16:56:07 · answer #10 · answered by StrawberryShortcake 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋