do you have to pay for a child if she is not mine as my ex wife is saying i do by law?

Question

i have been married for 18 month and my wife left me in feb and now she is saying that i have to pay for the child and i didnt adoped her and now i am just getting to ee the child few days a week should i just stop seeing the child in which that will kill me inside or should i keep seeing her and just pay

Answer 1

1. As a step parent you have no rights to the child.
your ex knows this and is using the child as emotional bargaining with you

2. U do not pay support on a child unless youa re the adoptive or boilogical parent.

Remember, when she moves on to someone else you will probably be disengaged from the child completely.
You are not obligated to pay her anyhting.

Answer 2

First of all, paying child support and being able to see the child are two totally different topics. Even a bio- father who is behind on child support still has rights to the child. One does not determine the other.

Second--you do not mention how old this chid is---it sounds as if you have been the primary father figure in this child's life for the last 18 months--but is the child 2 or 15??? This will make a difference to the judge if you choose to obtain your own legal counsel and pursue visitation. But if you are not the legal father, I'm not sure just how far a judge will go in ordering vistitation.
For the most part, I don't think you are legally obligated to pay for this child--but if the child is very young, and there is some question as to whether or not you could be the father, the court will most likely order a DNA test.

As for the other respondant here, who said she had heard that if a woman remarries and the bio-father no longer has to pay?? Someone mis-informed you , hon. The bio-father is always responsible-----new man or no.
Now in the case of alimony, once a woman remarries, her ex no longer has to pay if she marries someone new. But alimony, in this day and age ((for the average couple) is not that common.

Good luck to you, sir.........and if you have the opportunity to stay in this child's life,,,,,,,,,,,,don't not see the child based on whether or not there is money involved. Try to do the right thing for the right reasons. money isn't one of them. If the child is struggling with issues of poverty, try to do the right thing by providing for this child in some way or another. There are ways to do that without giving monies directly to the mother ((if you are worried she may not use the money wisely))....clothes, food, daycare, even a savings account for the child for when she/he gets older would be a nice thing to do.

good luck

Answer 3

When a woman with a child remarries - she stops getting ALIMONY, but will still get child support. It may be adjusted, but she will still get it for the education, etc, of the children.

You have no obligation to pay child support in this case. And as far as alimony goes, it doesn't seem like you were married long enough to give her that.

However, family is more than biology. If you met your ex wife when the child was very young (infant to 2) and then later on down the road got married and are the only father the child knows because the real dad was out of the picture, it may be different. You still have no obligation to pay for a child that is not yours, but it would be nice, if the real dad is dead or not in the picture at all, to help out the child if not the mother.

I know a couple where the father is not in the picture, and the couple met when the child was a year old. They married when the child was 5. So basically the child calls her stepdad "daddy". and now the girl is 9 and the couple is seperated. But its the stepdad that takes her to school and takes care of her. Mom ran off. And he has no obligation because the child is not his (the girl knows that she has a biological dad and has met him, but there is no relationship) but he does it out of love.

But again, the choice is yours to do what you want - but get a good lawyer.

Answer 4

Just to say I wish you luck you certainly have a difficult situation here. You may not be the biological father but you have been that childs father for 18 months and its shows your nature that you want to continue seeing the child.

You would be liable for child support if you had adopted the child.

As to legal rights stepfathers, who have not adopted the children apply for contact rights to see their children on a regular basis so if you wanted to make it legal you could make an application at Court. First I would see a solicitor to discuss you legal rights.

The birth father is liable for child support and that is a totally seperate issue.

Whoever mentioned Alimony that is a very rare thing these days my Alimony was the princely sum of £1 (yes that is one pound) this was some sort of legality so I did actually try and claim any and I never did get the £1 LOL, and no I didnt get a huge divorce settlement got left with loads of debt! Usually the financial side is sorted out before the children in a divorce situation. The CSA has to be consulted for child support now.

Answer 5

You need to see a lawyer immediately! The child support laws in most states are extremely screwed up, and there many men in this country that are being forced to pay support for children that they have proven are not theirs.

For example, in some states, if your wife has a child, you are assumed to be the father and are responsible for support even if she had an affair and you have a DNA test that says it's not yours. Also, there have been many cases of women getting support from men who were not the father simply because the man ACTED as the father.

She could be right, so you need to see a lawyer immediately so you can protect yourself. You should also stop seeing the child for now, until you know what the score is.

Answer 6

If you were not married at the time she had the child, then there is no presumption that you are the biological father. Typically, in the US, unless you were the husband or signed the birth certificate, paternity has to be established (DNA test) before you have to pay support.

If you adopted the child, you will have to pay child support.

If you want a relationship with the child, you need to have a legal agreement which gives you parental rights, which means you will probably end up paying support.

You either ARE the parent, either biologically or financially, which means you have to pay for the privilege of being a parent, or you aren't. If you aren't, you have no expectation of visitation. You can't have it both ways.

Answer 7

You do not have to pay a penny. That is what the biological father is responsible for.
However if you have a strong bond with the child and they are old enough to know who you are, don't just walk away. This would be very tough on the child and much harder to bear than not getting the latest Nike trainers.

If they are younger then consider whether you wnat to continue seeing the child. Chyances are you will meet someone knew and they may not be keen on the fact that you are still involved with an ex's family that you have no blood ties with. If you choose to break off seeing her later it could be harder than now.

Answer 8

how old is this child?

If the child existed before the marriage and it's really not yours (have a paternity test if there is ANY doubt), your marriage does not mean you have to pay anything for her.

However, holding this kid hostage like this is really reprehensible.

And leaving the child, cold turkey, will scar the child for life and give him/her abandonment issues. On the other hand, you have no legal rights to the child at all if you're not the bio-father.

You are in a very difficult situation, and I wish you all the luck in the world.

Answer 9

No, you don't have to pay child support for a child that is not yours, just because you are married to the mother. The only people responsible for supporting that child financially are the mother and natural father.

Answer 10

I would think that unless you are legally responsible for the child you should not have to pay. If you want to continue seeing the child and are able to do so then dont stop. Seek some legal advise you can usually get an hours free consultation with some solicitors. Good luck.