My sister just told me that she is having an affair! What should I do?

Question

She has a husband that loves her more than life! They have 2 beautiful children together. What should I do I had to tell her that I wouldn't tell on her but what should I do? HELP!

Answer 1

I know morally that you feel obligated to tell your brother in law but say nothing and try to be a loving sister and help her with this.If she is a good person who just made a mistake then try to forgive her and remind her of her family .You never know what underlying problems have surfaced in their marriage.You sound like a great sister and if you have a problem with your sister's behaviour then let her know how wrong she is and that you don't wish to be a part of her behaviour and keeping anymore secrets.If you tell her husband it could backfire on you ...they might fight and he may forgive her but then you'll lose your sister because you betrayed her confidence.....good luck and i hope she behaves herself...lol

Answer 2

She has involved you in her mess by telling you what she is doing. I suggest find out why she is doing this to start with. If there is something wrong in her marriage having an affair is no way to fix or cure it. You can encourage her to stop what she is doing by telling her what will happen when her husband finds out. And he will in time. She will forever hurt her children and ruin her marriage beyond repair. I would tell my sister she has 1 month to either end the affair or be honest with her husband and work on what needs fixed between them, or I was going to have a hear to heart with my brother in law. He deserves the truth first from her-if she isn't willing to straighten up and quit being selfish, someone has to intervene for her. She has put you in a very bad spot. She needs to know that. She has involved you. I would take the step to set my sister on the right road.

Answer 3

If I were you, I would not tolerate her behavior. I mean, I wouldn't tell her husband on her, but I'll make sure that she knows that I do not condone what she's doing. I wonder how she'd feel if it were the other way around, she finds out that her husband was fooling around.

But frankly speaking, bottomline, I don't think there's much you can do to stop her. Not unless you're willing to tie her up in the basement till she comes to her senses. *wink* *wink* Hehe, sorry.

I guess the best thing you can do is to pray that she be enlightened, and don't give up trying to convince her that what she's doing is very wrong, not just because she's being unfaithful to her husband, but also because she's being unfair to her children, potentially jeopardizing their family's future.

Good luck with your predicament. Hope everything turns up ok.

Answer 4

It was indecent for your sister to not only cheat but to put you in the middle of this. Since your sister is married and especially with children, hard as it is, I would not say anything. It is between the 2 of them and I promise that cheating can only go on for so long before one of the partners caves and confesses or more likely, her husband will find out.

If you break the bad news, you risk destroying their marriage and your relationship with your sister. Don't do it. It will all come out in the wash eventually.

Answer 5

Leave her be for the time being!

That's the best thing you can do for her right now.

If she has any sense, she will realize before it's too late that what she's doing to her family, primarily, is wrong!

Has she asked for your help & advice at all?

Or are you offering her your unsolicited pearls of wisdom?!?





P.S. You could always sit down with her, take a deep breath, relax and talk this out, why not? There's nothing more challenging & exciting than airing your dirty laundry in front of family members, lol!

Answer 6

There isn't anything you can do. Your sister has made a bad choice. Sometime's the hardest part of loving someone is standing by and being ready to help catch them when they fall.

Encourage your sister to get counseling. I'm sure you have already tried to talk her out of it.

Also remember, that no matter what your feelings towards their marriage are, and no matter what you think you know about it, there is obviously something going on that has made her turn away from her husband.

They're going to have to work this out for themselves. I know this is difficult for you. Hopefully she will come to her senses before she blows her life apart.

Good luck.

Answer 7

OK, well. This one is a tuffy.
I would say don't tell. Because in my experience when I told something like that... the people get mad at me and they don't forget it and they hold it against you.

Just wait and see for now.
I know I would want to tell. It doesn't seem like your sister is being fair to her family. She wasn't fair to you either by having you promise you wouldn't tell.

Can you think of a way to get the hubby asking her if every thing is good in their marriage/ between the two of them? That is something you could try to do. That way he would be asking her and you wouldn't have to tell.
I feel for you and Good Luck!!!

Answer 8

As soon as she told you, she was involving you, and that makes it your business.
I would tell her that she should not have involved you in the first place and ask her how she will feel if her husband finds out,is it worth losing him and is it worth hurting her children.
If this does not stop her affair I would tell her not to speak to you about it again and she is on her own.
I know family stick together but it is very selfish of her to have her fun and put all the worry on you.

Answer 9

You should do the right thing . Whatever that is . Just convince your sister to do the right thing in her heart, remind her how much her husband loves her and how great of a family they have together and hope she does the right thing . You don't wanna seem like a tattletale but if you think the right thing is to tell her husband, than there is no right or wrong to that ! Good luck <3

Answer 10

She told you, so give her your opinion: That her husband loves her very much and she has a lot to lose from being so selfish. Other than that keep your mouth shut. It will come against you, (a kill the messenger type thing). If he is truly so attentive to her he might already know about it.
Bottom line, keep out of it.