i am the maid of honor?

Question

okay so i dont even know if they should be getting married. im friends with both of them and feel like its my place to say something. the major problem they have comes from his family. the way he was brought up is that the man is the bread winner and the woman cleans. his grandma just recently told his soon to be wife (in like 13 days) that she is worthless, lazy, ect. and to never call her again. she called me all upset. well the thing is he hurt his knee many years ago and had surgery. since then it bothers him sometimes. I think he uses it as an excuse ALOT. he has worked maybe a total of a year in the 6 years they have been together. he always says he cant do something because of his knee. (even making pizzas) so he usually sits at home all day and whatches tv or plays video games while she goes to work. his grandma thinks it okay that he doesnt have an income and sits on his ***. he doesnt help her clean but once in a while and then he might put the dishes up or take the trash out

and he bitches at her for the house being messy and so does his family and tells her she is lazy and blah blah. but why dont they think he has any responsibilities? she admits she doesnt do as much as she should around the house but he thinks he shouldnt have to. this came about today because the yard wasnt mowed, she told his grandma (when she started bitchen about it) that she thought he just didnt want to mow being lazy, so she wasnt going to...just to make him do something. and thats when his grandma ripped into her. But my question is should i just tell them both straight up ...(to her) look you clean your house because you should take pride in it, and u should want it to look nice not like trash. and i know it isnt "fair" that he doesnt work and excpects u to clean but you need to suck it up...and (HIM) stop using ur knee as an excuse you wrestle, run and everything else it can handle a job and maybe doing the dishes. dont excpect her to do it all be a man. with it only being 13

days until the big day i dont want them all to be mad at me cause if i open my mouth its going to be the truth. i work part time, go to college full time and clean house while my boyfriend...who has a fake hip works full time (with usual overtime) and he also cleans the house and does the yard work...so as u see i think they are both in the wrong. please help me help them without getting yelled at or what ever. anything i should suggest to them?

Answer 1

Well to be honest, I wouldn't be marrying him! I was always taught that both should work, and take care of the household because if a unforseen occurence arises we won't be totally and completely up shits creek! He needs to get his lazy *** up and do something productive, and she needs to be a better housekeeper, because it's not attractive to have a nasty, stinky house. I know it is hard on her because his family keeps going at her, but she takes care of him, and provides a place for his lazy *** to stay, so they should appreciate her more! As his Grandma(I try to respect my elders) but she would have gotten choked by now, because that man is grown, and if she don't like the way she treats him, then she need to take care of his *** then!! As for you, just be there for her, and don't intefere!

Answer 2

You are not looking for each. You do not technically even want one, however quite often there is just one. You could have two regardless that if you happen to wish. I was once in three weddings this 12 months (adding my possess!). One had no maid of honor or matron of honor, simply three bridesmaids. I had a maid of honor and five bridesmaids. My exceptional buddy had me as her matron of honor and three bridesmaids. You can do it nonetheless you wish :)

Answer 3

My rule of thumb is I don't get involved in other people's marriage's...PERIOD. While I agree with you that your friend's situation looks pretty bleak, you have to realize you're seeing it from the outside, and you're also hearing the negative from your friend. If she asks you point blank what you think, that's another issue entirely (and if she asks--tell her if you'd like), but as long as she hasn't asked, don't volunteer your opinion. Her loyalties SHOULD be to him, regardless of his crazy grandma and his whacked out priorities. Telling her you think she shouldn't marry him and get out of this relationship will only cause her to be angry with you.
If you're thinking you can't stand up and support this marriage, look at it this way, you're supporting your friend. Hopefully you will be her friend for a long, long time. If her relationship is as bad as you say it is, the odds are her marriage won't last long, so she'll need a friend when the you-know-what hits the fan. When that happens, be kind, loving and supportive, she won't want you to take an "I-told-you-so" attitude.

Best of luck to you and your friend.

Answer 4

Suggest nothing.

I was best man for a guy who married the Broad from Hell. A real psycho case as it were but she must have been a wizards in the fine arts of bed artistry because he married her anyway. Then divorced her. It was pointless for me to even argue with him because it angered him that I didn't see her the same way he did.
Ah well...they're adults. Its their decision to make and theirs to live with. You aren't obligated to say anything my dear.
just enjoy the meal and the open bar at the reception. Time will tell for the both of 'em.

Answer 5

"im friends with both of them and feel like its my place to say something."

No, its not your place...and it REALLY will not be your place once they are MAN and WIFE so butt out!