Myhusband left me, continued...?

Question

We dated for a year before and he pulled the same thing on his ex girlfrind and was not cheating on her. We met when we were both single. He may be cheating, but have done my homework on that. Checked his phone and email. Throughout the marriage he was very depressed and went on meds for it then got off of them, because of the side effects. I know what i should do, but it's hard at this point because I'm still in the honeymoon part of our marriage. He told his family that I am the perfect wife, the perfect mother everything he wants in a wife and when the time comes that he does want a committed relationship, he will be looking for me, and I keep telling him I will be gone by then. He has a councelling appointment today, and one with me tomorrow, so we will see. BTW, we have 3 kids but not together. Could it be that he is a kid living in a man's body. His parents abandoned him as a child and he was raised by his grandparents. Thanks for you advise.

Answer 1

OMG of course he is how he is, he has HUGE abondonment and trust issues. Wouldnt you? Or any of us? We would either be really f*cked up in the head or we would be as hard as nails. Work with him through his issues, if you love him, stand beside him and show him that you arent going to leave and that he can trust you. He isnt going to give you that, you are going to have to earn it. Not your fault, but you are one of the casualties along the way.

Answer 2

Sounds like my situation not long ago except I have one child and he had none. Marital counseling did not work. I moved and we thought a trial separation was the answer...during the move we had an intimate evening. I got pregnant and told him and he filed for divorce. His parents have been there for him and been supportive of him (without acknowledging that he is capable of any mistakes), so abandonment is a poor excuse. Now he and his family want nothing to do with this pregnancy or the baby after birth and it is just sitting in court until the birth and parenting issues are settled. I think some people are naturally self fish, infantile people and you can't do anything about it. He is 38 (39 years old soon) so I don't think it will change. I say move on since there is a history of his behavior and take care of yourself and your children and cut your losses.

Answer 3

Well I think that just because he cheated before doesn't mean that he is cheating now. I think he has alot of trust issues and is afraid to get too attached to anyone because he was abandoned as a child. So I think you should just trust him and give him some time. It's always hard when you're depressed. It makes it difficult to be with people. You shouldn't assume that hes cheating on you until you see something with your own eyes that proves that he may be cheating after all. Good luck!

Answer 4

definite. appears like he nevertheless has a tremendous form of anger subject matters. If it really is scaring you, pass see a specialist and they could help you're taking the right steps, even if if it really is leaving him or placing new limitations and taking a destroy from him. It would not sound like it really is a chance-free ecosystem for you, so make effective you note someone quickly earlier yet another argument escalates on your position carry. also, i ought to recommend that you note a psychologist on your individual and under no circumstances that one which you used in the previous on your marriage counseling. you should have a pair aspects that you are able to use.

Answer 5

give your marriage a chance.counseling may be all he needs.speaking from experience depression is very hard to treat and hard to live with.as long as he has not been violent to you or harmed himself this may be what he needs.dont give up. being abandoned is hard but people must quit blaming all their problems on their parents.grown ups need to act like grown ups life isnt easy most of the time but it is worth living.if you cant have what you want --- want what you have.good luck.