Are "traditional women" gender traitors?

Question

I can't help it. Whenever a woman goes on and on about how it's a woman's role to stay at home and tend to her family or agrees that women are less intelligent or less rational than men, I get mad. When a man says it, it can be more easily dismissed, but to feel that way about yourself and your gender is worse. Is it wrong to consider these women traitors to their gender?

Let me clarify: I don't mind if THEY HAVE CHOSEN to stay at home. I think that is a legitimate and important profession. I am talking about women who believe that ALL women should stay at home, or that a woman's place is in the home not in the workplace.

ladywildfireok: where did I say that I "believe it is wrong to raise your own children, who think men are stupid evil creatures." I love men (see most of my other threads). I have a wonderful boyfriend who I love. I think it is fine to make the choice to raise your children (see above). Stop putting words in my mouth.

ladywildfireok: No, I don't see how you came to that conclusion. Believing that I am equal to men and that I should have the same opportunities as they do has absolutely no logical correlation to being either bitter or man-hating.

Answer 1

It's not an either/or proposition.
Although some of the 18th century posters here think so.
(you know who you are, Lala Land)
I am a Feminist.
I also have a large family and I believe that no one can care for my kids as well as I can.
I made many choices over the years to take jobs that allowed me to be there for my family--was I a traitor to my kids or my gender? No.
Thank God for Feminism because it makes it possible to have an array of choices in how to live!
Good luck

EDIT: A star for Babs!

Lala, you're so insane.lol

Answer 2

I stay at home raising my children. I don't think either men or women are smarter but I do think that we think differently.
I think that there are a lot of women who are traitors to their gender. Do you know how many women think I am lucky or lazy because I stay home raising my kids (but there are those who commend me for it too). It was my choice to do this but it angers me that some people look down on me for it. It is a sacrifice and I realize that whenever I get back into the workforce I will be taking a pay cut because I haven't worked in years and I will be starting at the bottom again but it has been worth it.
Some women do not have this choice and I am sad for them. Not because they are working but because they have to do it and do not get the choice of whether or not to stay home. Some women choose to work for their own reasons and that is perfectly okay too. But from my standpoint there is a lot more said (negatively) by women about women who stay home than those who choose to stay in the workforce.
I am a very rational person. I would not say more so than either gender. I think this stems from the days of old when women were considered the weaker sex but I can't imagine why any woman would say that men are more rational or intellegent.
I would not consider them traitors. Maybe these women really are what they saying and think that we are all like them. I'd consider them misinformed and just tell them that we no longer live in the days of past where women were considered possessions.

Answer 3

The beauty of being a woman is that we can adapt and fulfill any role in society we want to. Those traditional roles are just as important as the women in the modern day work force. It is just a position that is thankless and unpaid, but needed nonetheless. It is wrong to consider these women gender traitors. Not only have we been fighting for equality, but to have the freedom of choice.

Answer 4

Of course it's wrong. This is the problem with women, we are so critical of each other instead of allowing each other the grace and space to grow. I know in my life I have changed my opinion and my feelings about things a couple of times over the past 50+ years. The opinion of that woman may be where she is at right now. She may be able to afford to stay home to tend to her family and doesn't have the empathy or broadmindedness to consider another woman's circumstances or another point of view. Next year or next week it may change. Life is an ongoing project and we women need to stop being so sanctimonious and self-righteous and hyper-critical of other women. Even Gloria Steinem has admitted that we women CAN'T have it all, and that something's gotta give. Women make those choices every day. The woman who thinks she is 'a traditional woman' is where she is at in her thinking because of her experience. You are where you are in your thinking because of your experience. What you should do is be kind and consider the source. Different strokes for different folks, after all.

Now, as far as her saying that women are less intelligent or less rational? I think not. That's just ignorance talking. Take that nonsense with a grain of salt and back away. :)

Answer 5

Every study, opinion and statistic is entirely subjective. If you have ever done any legitimate research in your life, you would know this. So kudos to you having the perfect life. In my experiences, those who always remind complete strangers of how perfect they are, how happy they are or how much money they have are usually the ones milking the biggest delusions with nothing but fantasies. However, this is subjective to my experiences. EDIT: Wait a second, you are basing this question off one individual post and are applying to the collective whole? My goodness, you are a fool. I am baffled that you would accuse the poster “Shannon” of assuming stuff. When in your last question you made the unfounded statement that Americans are “behind” the rest of the world culturally and socially with relationships. You are the queen of opinions, yet you do not like when others give ther opinions.

Answer 6

Oy. What is a gender traitor? Women are the substance that keeps civilized (and some uncivilized) society's, and cultures functioning, and are the most durable members of our civilization. To say otherwise is neglecting to assess the contribution to our civilization accurately. Males are so bent on being the dominant energy of our species, they overlook the contribution of females to the soup of continuity. Come on guys, I am not saying women are more valuable than y'all, just that y'all have to accept the equal distribution of the contributions necessary for the healthy progress of our species.

Answer 7

This for me is split because my wife feels that she DID contribute to society by being a stay home mom and teaching our children honesty, integrity and morales. And as to date they all are law abiding, tax paying, honest citizens with families of their own.
At work, I perform tasks and duties traditionally performed by men. Two of the people on our crew were women. One was a masculine lesbian, and fit in with the guys like a guy. The other we, (myself included) were thinking she wouldn't make it. Both turned out to be well accomplished at our craft and the ladder even became a superviser. Women CAN do things that men are usually doing, if she couldn't lift and object, she SAFELY would go get a lifting divice etc. etc. Both women enjoyed the work and it showed. Neither would of been happy or good staying home.
Each of these three women I descrbe are not "gender traiters" each have their own opinions and each chose to be where they "BELONGED".

Answer 8

There are different traditions regarding the roles of men and women. Your view is a liberal view, while a legitimate view, not everyone agrees with this. Many women prefer traditional roles of mother/wife at home and leave the burden of producing an income to support the household to the husband. There are both benefits and burdens on both sides of that arrangement.

So what you believe is a “traitor” to women is really a “traitor” to your views about women. That's an important distinction to understand. Some actually feel your views are demeaning to women as hard as that may be for you to believe.

I’ve never heard women being viewed as less intelligent or less rational by traditional thinkers so that is once again another view. Perhaps lack of education would cause such a factually false notion.

Best, Mike

Answer 9

Well...to be honest, I'm a feminist, but I want to stay home with my son, who will be born in a month or so.
I believe that families need someone who can anchor them, and women just do that BETTER than men. It's not a weakness, it's a strength. I'd LOVE to see my husband try to take care of our house, work 40 hours a week AND be 34 weeks pregnant. He could never do it---I am PROUD I can do it.
However, children are the most valuable investment one can make in society and I want to be the one who raises him in an environment where he's safe and exposed to the values and experiences I want him to learn from.
I can't say that for every woman, but that is how I feel.
I still think women should be educated and work...some women don't become mothers or look at their role as one differently than I do, but I believe it should be her choice. No one should look down on a woman for making HER own decisions about family and career, etc.

Answer 10

First of all, I feel your pain. Sometimes it's more hurtful when a woman does it. Case in point, my mother and I have nothing in common except perhaps family and science fiction. So I tend to stick with those and avoid the touchy subjects. So we were trading sci fi show stories and ops etc. I bring up that in the new Battlestar Gallactica, they seemed to have killed off Starbuck, whose character has been changed to a female. My mother launches this tyrade against women in the military. Yet, when she's calm she's way more liberal point to point than me. She's college educated, etc. I often think she still obeys her old cultural conditioning to agree with whoever is in charge. For her this is the mostly liberal black females at work and men ie at church and throughout her life. So when she's been to work she seems very liberal and when she's been to church she's very conservative. I often feel that a women of her education and intelligence should at least have a firm opinion about things and not play to the opinions of whoever seems dominant. And I do often feel she's a gender traitor. But I see how the bullying by antifeminists goes on here and how the men control dialog and wages in real life. Perhaps it's less being a traitor and more adapting to reality. They adapt to what's really happening now, and this works for them. But for some of us it didn't work or we want to be braver and improve things for everyone.
If they are self aware adults with some knowledge of what's going on and how their one sided traditionalism hurts women who don't fit the mold, then yes, they are gender traitors. If they are lacking awareness or care about the rest of us but are just playing along to survive, then no, they aren't traitors. Just survivors.

Answer 11

I think traitor is a bit of a strong word. If they want to stay at home that is their right but they have no right to tell me I have to stay at home. I have a very successful career. And I run a house and a husband and 2 kids.

I have seen these posts too, women saying women should stay at home as that is their purpose. Rubbish! If they want to do that, no problem. Each women should have the choice. All those women who believe that all women should be homemakers do is reinforce the stereotype of the submissive little woman who needs a man to be the breadwinner. And that is just as destructive as the feminist stereotype of the woman who considers herself superior to and always bashes men. I love men at every chance I get. But I will make my own way.