my husband has just walked out of our marriage and has gone to live with an other woman in a other city and has just told me that he wanted a change and is not comming back he told me that it wasnt me but him. he left last year for a week but said he was in his mates but came back crying and promised it would'nt happen again he does things on impulse and thinks the grass in greener but I know he will with get bored with that life. he wants a divorce but want me to do it
2007-05-08 07:43:30 · 23 answers · asked by jambi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hi, This also happened to me, similar story. I havent seen my husband in nearly 5 years. You may not realise it now but i can assure you, you are better off without him. My husband left went living at a "mates" cried came home, started the affair back up and left us. I had been married 25 years but it dosent matter how long you have been married or even living together it hurts. But the hurt goes away honest....he will just carry on with affair after affair breaking your heart so now is the time to take charge of your life and you will come out the other side a stronger confident woman i have....As for the divorce let him divorce you, don't be bullied into doing something you at this moment in time do not want to do. Only after 2 years can he file for divorce with no citations it would just be a straight forward divorce because you will have lived apart for 2 years or more. Good Luck to you i hope you have a happy life.
2007-05-08 07:59:17 · answer #1 · answered by kevina p 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Jambi
I am so sorry to hear about your troubles. I just don't know why men (most of them anyhow) refuse to grow up and when they leave they expect us to be waiting with open arms like nothing happened!
Anyhow, you cannot be forced to get a divorce but in most states he can get one without you. He can do a "published" divorce, saying he does not know how to contact you and have the notice of divorce published in some obscure courthouse newspaper, then when the day comes in front of the judge they automatically give him the final decree by default. Or you can go to court and ask the judge for couseling and he may put off the final decree until this is done. Your best bet, if you want to fight it, is to accept any papers that are served to you so you are aware of any court hearings that you need to be at. But, really, about the only thing you can do is go to the mediator before hand and if your husband still wants the divorce your signature is not a necessity. Sucks, but hey, once the anger really sets in and your good woman sense takes over, is he really that great a prize anyways? Will you ever be able to trust that he will be home and not pull this stunt again when the itch hits? You should just be good to yourself and not worry about him!
I know, easier said than done!
I wish you only the best and hope you find true happiness in the very near future!
2007-05-08 07:57:53 · answer #2 · answered by phxmilitarymom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So let me get this straight: HE walks out on you, but he wants YOU to do the filing and proceedings for the divorce? Forget it! If he wants a divorce, let him do the filing.
And don't stick around for that crap. If he's walked out on you TWICE already, what makes you think he'll stick around the third or fourth or twentieth time he comes back??? Give that jerk the boot.
As much as it hurts right now, just think about how miserable your life will be if you continue to let him treat it like a revolving door at a department store!! Or how about how you'll feel when he brings home an STD.
2007-05-08 07:49:19 · answer #3 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should give the man what he says he wants and go find your own greener grass on the other side of that fence. Your heart is not a yoyo. Don't let him treat you that way. Don't you think you deserve better? Honey, there are a million fish in the sea. Don't settle.
2007-05-08 07:49:40 · answer #4 · answered by StrawberryShortcake 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wants a divorce let HIM pay for one. why should you be made to suffer extra? Nope. Let him suffer. If he comes crawling back, look at him in the eye and remind him he was the one who brought up the idea of a divorce. Don't take him back. MAKE him divorce you. Don't do something you'd rather not.
2007-05-08 07:54:11 · answer #5 · answered by Balaboo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wants a divorce then you can't stop him from sending you the divorce papers, but he will have to wait until you sign them, if you like you can make it difficult for him by taking tour time signing then and by asking for things in the divorce you know that he will want for himself.
2007-05-10 02:05:26 · answer #6 · answered by Granny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband can't force you to file, though he seems hell-bent on just that. The only way he can force a divorce is to file himself and then win the case in court. I have to ask, wouldn't you be better off without this guy? If you have children, their needs deserve first consideration. If you don't have kids, your only consideration should be yourself. If you were my sister, I'd advise you to dump the jerk.
2007-05-08 07:54:41 · answer #7 · answered by Diogenes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell i would be begging for a divorce from this a*s ....
are u really happy with a dude like that ?
get out stay out ...this guy doesn't deserve u
have some self respect !!!
2007-05-08 07:51:39 · answer #8 · answered by jizzumonkey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the complaint for divorce establishes legal grounds for divorce, you cannot prevent the other party from seeking divorce. Adultry does not count. Can you prove it?
2007-05-08 07:49:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you can still get one in the UK but it would take a long time to finalise if you contested it. But if I were I'd give him a divorce and get him out of your life.
2007-05-08 07:51:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋