I keep hearing from other friends that she is saying things behind my back. Nothing so bad that I felt I needed to confront her, but some of the stuff that I hear is flat out lies, and mostly stuff about my marriage, or how good my hubby is to me. I am not someone who wants to waste time on drama or gossip, I am so beyond that, that I didn't even entertain it. So I just began to distance myself from her, I have not been mean or anything, I just kinda stopped hanging out and talking to her as much. Now a few friends have told me she is telling them how hot my husband is and that he is to hot for me. I am not worried or jealous. My husband is hot! It doesn't bother me that my friends think so. I just don't like the way she is going about it. I feel a bit betrayed, and it really is filling in a lot of blanks about why all the smack talking lately. Now I am to the point where I think I need to say something. What do you think? Should I just be flattered or call her out on it?
2007-05-08 07:26:46 · 29 answers · asked by NeNe 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
If you think I should call her out, how should I go about it? I don't want to betray the concerned friends who told me. At the same time I don't want to sound like a bunch of highschool girls talking poo about eachother (he said she said, or I heard)?
2007-05-08 07:36:23 · update #1
Thanks for all the advice, here are some more details for you:
She is married to my husband's long time friend, that is how I know her. She is never alone with my husband, I am not worried about her trying to pull the moves on him she will be denied! I have been married for over 10 years, My hunny is my best friend. In fact we had a good laugh about the whole thing last night (and how UBER HOT he is)! My husband thinks she is gross and very un-lady like. He is all about class and style! That is why he loves me of course!
Greeneyes: I don’t think I am being insecure, ( I don't mean to be) I just think it sucks that at my age and at this stage in my relationship that I have to put up with this crap, from a supposed friend. When I try to remove my self from her, more DRAMA!
You all Rock! I love to hear your take on this. Thanks for the Help!
2007-05-08 07:56:57 · update #2
To start, I wouldn't call her "one of my best friends" anymore, as she has shown some parts of herself that are not too friendly. I would suggest that you take the high road (your explanation shows you to be classy enough to pull this off) and give her a call. Ask to meet in a private setting (over the phone you will not get a true sense of her feelings) and talk calmly and sincerely about how you feel. Mention that you miss her friendship, you feel that she has not been loyal to you and you want to make things right. Don't be afraid to mention what you heard and give her the opportunity to defend herself. Remember, you are hearing things second hand and the translation may not have been accurate. I think her answers during this meeting will let you know where you stand with her. It should help you decide where to go with the friendship. Maybe it will help her to overcome or deal with some emotional issues of her own.
Good luck!
2007-05-08 07:37:44 · answer #1 · answered by steveheremd 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this has been going on for this long you should say something to her. She is supposed to be your friend, not just anyone walking down the street. Let her know that you have heard a few things that she "supposedly" said and you want to talk about it. Let her know that you arent mad, just confused as to why she would say this behind your back rather then to your face. She is probably jealous of you and your relationship. If she was any real friend at all, nothing would have been said behind your back. You did the right thing by putting distance between you two. You might be better off never talking to her again.
2007-05-08 07:36:07 · answer #2 · answered by kissbutnevertell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, definetly say something to her about it. Just plain out tell her, no sugar coating, no beating around the bush, tell her exactly how you feel about all of it, what ever is on your mind & in your heart & tell her it's uncalled for as well. You deserve a better friend than that, infact I wouldn't call her a friend anymore after she has been saying lies to people about you. Also, the thing about your hubby being hot, I am glad you took that well, I love it when my hubby gets compliments too. If you know your husband loves you & he thinks you're beautiful, which I'm sure you are, than you shouldn't worry that she is telling people that he's to hot for you, if you feel you need reassuring about that, you should go to your husband & ask, but the bottom line is that you need to do/say something about your "friends" behaviour so it doesn't keep happening. Best of luck to you.
2007-05-08 07:47:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally would not confront her. Be the bigger person, she is trying to get to you. Eventually she will slide away from your circle of friends and you will not hear from her anymore.
Reason for not confronting.
1. What do you win? Really she is just going to talk more smack?
2. Who says your hot hubby(lol) likes her anyway?
3. If you start a fight with her and show that you don't trust her you are also showing that you don't trust your husband, he might see it that way.
4.She says your husband is too good for you... Pshh she is better? He chose you not her so Ha!
5. Don't get down to her level,the argument will get worse if you pick a fight.
6. You know she is just jealous of you.
That's what I think, hope i helped!
2007-05-08 07:46:01 · answer #4 · answered by FishyFace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a long heart to heart with your husband. Explain what you've been hearing and that he may have accidentally encouraged her to think there may be something more than just neighborly friendship. Guys do that - they have no clue sometimes.
Ask him what he would do if he'd heard from his buddies that there was something fishy between you and another man.
Discuss a plan of action so that your "friend" will know in no uncertain terms that she's completely wrong about your marriage - and should back off.
If this means you and husband need to confront her (privately of course) then that's what it will take.
This woman is no friend. She's a snake in the grass.
2007-05-08 07:42:18 · answer #5 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would confront her. Not b/c she is saying your husband is hot but b/c she is saying hurtful lies about you behind your back. Friends don't do that to other friends. You should let her know what you've been told she has said about you and ask her if there is anything she feels that she needs to tell you. If she says yes, hear her out and respond. If she says no, then pleasantly ask her that in the future, if she feels she has something she needs to say about you, you would appreciate it if she just came to you. After that, to be honest, she has kind of proven herself to be a false friend, and I think you should probably just cut her out of your life. And if she confronts you on your distance, explain to her that you don't feel you can trust her anymore, and that as much as it hurts you to say it, if you can't trust someone, you can't consider them a friend anymore either. Good luck!
2007-05-08 07:33:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would keep my head up high and just be proud of the hot husband who treats you like a queen!
This is why I don't assosciate with many other women- too much drama! They smile in your face one minute, and the other minute, they plot and talk behind your back out of jealousy and malice.
Don't even entertain the drama by confronting her. Distance yourself from her, and let your primary focus be on your home life. That way when drama gets heavy, you're not a part of it.
2007-05-08 07:37:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good for her to think your husband is hot. Plenty of people think my husband is hot and me too. Just let her know if her comments become too uncomfortable. If she is a real friend she will understand btu if you know she is a s*#@ then you are setting yourself up for the Jerry Springer show. and watch out for those friends who are saying she is talking about you. They might like you or your husband too and want to get her out of the way. The best way to keep a friend is to first be a friend. This is why too many people don't have many friends. When you tell some people things that are personal and negative they give negative feedback. Be careful of the sharks and be good to your attractive husband. And he should be good to you. There is no room for jelousy now a days. We all have qualities we should be proud of our selves for. Jealousy destroys marriges, jobs, families, and friends. Don't fall into that petty trap.
2007-05-08 07:32:57 · answer #8 · answered by Lil Momma 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, although its quite nice to know that others think your hubby is hot too, this person seems to be trying to provoke a reaction from you. I would feel like telling her that the comments she is making about you, your marriage and your hubby are inappropriate, and ask her to keep her views to herself in the future. With a friend like that, who needs enemies!
2007-05-08 07:36:53 · answer #9 · answered by June S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its just a movie star, someone he will never meet or have contact with..i think your overreacting to the situation...my husband finds find angelina jolie hot, im not gonna cry about it Now if he starts pointing out woman on the street or in a store then yes, you have a right to be upset, and at that point you should make sure to explain to him how you feel about his behavior...but as for Rosa Acosta you should pick your own movie star- i go for johnny depp-
2016-05-18 03:02:19 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋