i want a baby?

Question

but im only 19 i'll be 20 in 2 months, i know im to young but i feel this huge hole in my heart..a baby will fill that hole..i know it's probibly not smart but i just see all these babies and two of my friends are pregnat and i always think i wish that was me...please convince me i cant handle that right now...tell me somthing to make me wait. im sure this sounds immature but i feel like i am ready but i know its probibly not the smartest thing i could do right now. so yes please advice? no rude answers please

i do have a b/f of 3 years but i know he's not ready even though he wants one.

i have a full time job pays good im getting a raise soon and im going to school taking classes here and there

equinebe, i really dont appriciate your comment, i know how big the respinsibility is trust me i do, me and my b/f love eachother and we are getting married next year, i would not ruin this babys life and it would grow up to be a very very smart wonderful child, yes im young and im not even trying for a baby i just want one and my parents were wonderful parents a little strict but i grew up to be a smart happy girl and wanting a baby is all within me. please look twice before you judge and your 18 i realy dont think i need advice from somone younger then me.

some of you have great answers! by the way i do have a cat her name is Luna and i take care of her very well and i love her shes my baby right now (= so i can take care of things lol. i love the get the puppy answers!

Answer 1

Wait until you finish school, then get married, and then have the baby. I know it's hard, I know exactly what you are going through. But trust me it is worth waiting. Reason one is that even though you think you may be financially ok, babies take alot of money. Reason two is every girl deep down inside wants a beautiful wedding, and don't you want to have your wedding as a beautiful mysterious reminder to your children of your and your husbands love for eachother. Reason three waiting sucks, but when you finally are ready and your bf is too you will never expeirience a greater joy to share together.

I wanted a baby after dating my bf (now husband) for about 3 years, we had lived together 2 years and planned on getting married but didn't know when. He wasn't ready, and he wanted to be married first. We got married and are now expecting our first child in the beginning of September. All I can tell you is having a baby isn't as easy as everyone makes it seem, wait and let your life play out in the order it is meant to be, you will have a baby when you are meant to, just be happy that you are as lucky as you are that you have a bf that loves you and that you can look forward to growing stronger in a relationship while preparing for the most wonderful thing that will ever happen to you.

So to make a long story short, if you do everything in order; (finish school, get married, then have a baby) you will be so much happier, and it will be even more exiting.

ps I was your age going through the same thing. I am now 21 and really three years goes by fast. Good luck, and God bless.

Answer 2

First of all are you married? A baby is a HUGE responsibility. Its not a doll that you can play with when you feel the urge to do so. A baby needs love,time and money! Love of coarse is the easy part. There are so many things you need to think about. Who will support the baby? Will you work after the baby is born? If so who will watch the baby? Are you going to college? Again who will watch the baby. Are you willing to all of your free time to this new little person who will need you 24/7. Are you prepared to possibly be up all night and all day with a colicky baby? Do you fully understand the cost to raise a child? Figure at the very least 1-2 packs of diapers per week. I am talking the jumbo pack that is between $10-20 then wipes add another $5. Are you going to bottle or breast feed? If you bottle feed formula now cost almost $4.00 per can of the liquid concentrate. They will easily go through 1 of those per day from 1 month old on.Then it will just increase so you are looking at about another $30.00 per week to feed them that isn't counting baby cereal and food when they start to eat those kinds of foods. Plus you will need clothes,crib,carseat,stroller,lotion,baby bath,and so many other things. Oh and a big one health insurance. There is just so much to REALLY THINK about. If your truly ready then you are if you have any doubts don't do it just yet. Wait. Get married. Enjoy life as an adult for awhile. There is plenty of time to have children.
Besides it takes 2 people to have a child. It would be unfair of you to get pregnant without the other party knowing fully what was up.

Answer 3

wait for a while. I was the same way at 17, 18, 19, and on and on. I am now pregnant with my first at 25, and it so happens to be twins! I am still scared that I won't be ready, but I'm more ready now than I was when I was your age. I have a master's degree and I'm married to my highschool sweetie (10 years together, 2 years married). If your b/f loves you he'll stick around and wait until you're both ready to have a baby. I takes a lot of work and a lot of money just to plan for the baby, not to mention all the work and money that will go into it after you have the baby.
In my opinion just wait, and you'll look back in a few years and laugh at yourself for thinking you were ready then (I do).

Answer 4

Well I know how you feel I am 25 and I have wanted a baby since I was 17 years old. I have felt this emptiness inside me. My boyfriend is not ready to have children so we got a puppy. I love that dog more than anything in the world but at the same time its still not "my" baby. I am raising it but I did not give birth to him. The truth is you have to think about the baby your talking about having and not you. You feel a hole but if you have the baby will there be a father involved? (not that you really need a father but this helps)
I knew my father but he didnt really want to know me to well so I never get too close to adult males like my step dad's They are cool and all but I cant tell them I love them even though I do. I had trouble telling my mom I loved her for years. I can say I love you to my friends and lovers but not parents or family. So think...Will you have a good job, money, family, and support?
You have to make sure you have an ideal living situation to be able to raise a child. You want to give the best possible life to your child right? So think of them and get everything straight before you decide to have a child.
:) Good Luck!

Answer 5

It is very hard being a single mother. How do you plan on finacially supporting the baby? Keep in mind that a baby does grow up to be a child. They are not small forever. I was 18 when I had my first child. He was a suprise but I still cared for him. Is your boyfriend 100% sure he can support a child too? CHild support not paid can send him to jail. He may be an upstanding person now but... you just never know. Are you in college? Do you have a career? What about babysitting/daycare? How do you plan on dealing with that. Is your guy ready for marriage? Babies are up a lot at night, in the beginning. You will get very little sleep. No more going out when you want too. It is no fun. Wait until your friend have their babies and babysit for them. You will get all your "hole in heart" love that you seek from those babies and your friends will appreciate the break. It is a very hard job and only part-time is fun. Labor and delivery....that is very difficult. I have to have an emergency C-section. In my small town, due to not having a surgeon on call if needed, with my second child I had to have another C-section. C-sections are a major surgery. They leave a scar and your stomach muscles are never the same. Have you decided to breast feed or bottle feed? Are you prepared for all the criticism of being such a young mother, unmarried? Is your guy the one you can stand to talk to or be around for the rest of your life? What if you break up and he has another girlfriend, are you prepared to deal with another lady taking care of your child? Keep all this in mind. My advice would be to wait for your friends babies and just be the friendly Auntie who loves to babysit.

Answer 6

Why are you so bent on ruining your life? I'm not saying that all babies ruin everyones lives, because some are a blessing and a miracle. But believe me, a child would be a burden to you. It is absolutely neglectful and foolish to have a child because you feel you have a "huge hole in your heart."

This may sound really old fashioned (I'm only 18 I swear) but a baby should come into a marriage. Not a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship in which you KNOW that your boyfriend is not even ready enough. Do you see how narcissistic you are being? You are assuming that you would be able to take on all of the weight and burden that comes with a baby without really needing anyones help. Not only will you ruin your life, but you will ruin this child's life too.

The child will not grow up in a happy and healthy home, because you will be struggling just to let it survive! At 19 or 20 this is the worst thing you could do. You would screw this child up, and you know what, when it is 19 or 20 I'm sure it would be wanting a child as well.

Think about the mother figure you had as a child. THINK about her. Even your father figure. Do you think they were the best that they could be? I'm pretty sure that I'm safe in assuming they weren't, because if they were then you wouldn't have a "hole in your heart." Your first instinct maybe to say "yes! they were great parents," but you need to think about it first.

Is that the kind of mom or dad that you want to be? The kind of mom that lets her daughter even THINK about having a child at 19.

Do not have this child. Not because I'm worried about you, but because I'm worried about what kind of contribution to society this child would be. Wait at least until you are 29. I know it seems like a long time, but it will be worth it!

I'm not really even sure if you can handle a puppy in the state your in. A baby is not something you can do to make your "relationship closer" or to make you feel better. A baby is a huge undertaking. It is another human being, that will be attached to you forever if you do your job right.

Don't have a baby, please. Why don't you go to some parenting classes so you can learn more about it? I'm serious. If you are serious about having a baby I want you to go to some parenting classes first. I mean it would be THE LEAST you could do right? If you can't even make that effort, then don't even THINK about THINKING about having a baby.

Answer 7

You have your whole life ahead of you to have children - having a child to fill what feels like a hole in your heart is not the right reason but I don't doubt that you would love the child. HOWEVER, having a child changes your life forever and you are much more restricted in what activities you are free to do when you want to. Are you really ready to let someone else's needs dictate your life to you? When I was your age, I'd watch my friend's kids or even just take them out myself for the day from time to time to get my fix and then I got to send them home. This was so much fun because I got to be their buddy and not have to be the parent all the time. It was a big responsibility but at the same time I could still get out and do what I wanted. As I got older, I knew that it was my time to settle down and have kids - I was 27 when I got married and we had our first and I'm glad I waited. You probably could handle it but it would be difficult. Wait until you're done with school and settled down with someone that you're sure you're going to marry and then think about maybe having a baby before you get married. (I'm sure I'll get arguments with that but it worked for us and can work for others.) For now, enjoy your friends' kids, sugar 'em up and send 'em home so you can go out and have some fun! You only get the chance to be young once!

Answer 8

I can tell you that a baby really does change everything, and not always for the better.

You have no idea how much a baby is going to cost. We lost our house and our car because it was so expensive.
I tried to breastfeed and just couldn't get it right, we went to formula and my little one was allergic to regular formula so we had to buy the "special" kind. It was about $400.00 a month, then you have diapers, clothes, Dr. visits, immunizations, etc.

Besides the cost, your no longer able to do what you want. Your life will no longer be about you, or your bf. It will be all about that baby, it is very hard.
There are joy's to having a baby, but you have no idea what it's going to be like at your age.
I was married for 2 yrs. and got pregnant at 21 becaus my Dr. said I had a 6 month "window" after endometriosis surgery to have a baby if I ever wanted one.
I wasn't ready even though I thought I was. It almost ruined my marriage and my life.
Things are much better now, but I still wish I would have waited. I miss my freedom even though I love my little girl to death.
I urge you to be fully financially prepared and mentally prepared before you make this life changing decision.

Answer 9

Well, where do I begin? Oh yeah, try 9 months of feeling moody, cranky, emotional and physically tired. At least that is how my wife felt during her pregnancy, unless you plan on putting your life on hold, wait! It is a big responsibility and a permanent lifestyle change for you and your little one, do you have money to buy things for a baby, it gets really expensive. I have a decent job but still hurt from all the expenses that are incurred with a child. You will need at least the following: medical insurance, vehicle w/insurance, money, time and the list goes on. Try the sleepless nights when the little one can't sleep or is sick. Honey, it is a huge responsibility to raise a baby so take your time and wait until you are ready to tackle on some real responsibility! Hope my words can convince you.

Answer 10

I know how you feel. But it is not a good idea to have a baby just because your friends or family do and to fill a hole in your heart. A baby takes the proper love and environment to grow. Also it takes money for the baby's future. Take time to understand how to raise a child, what it takes, read books on steps on being a mother and the like and if you still feel you are ready, then by all means you are!