I have a good friend who I like as just a friend but who wants to have more than just a friendship with me. I already have a special someone in my life however and my relationship with this other man is becoming quite serious. I strongly doubt that I will be breaking up with him anytime soon (or ever if you catch my drift) so I cannot even consider my just-a-friend as a potential romantic interest. My question is, how do I get this friend to understand that he is only ever going to be just a friend? I value his friendship quite a bit and would hate to make things become awkward by openly discussing the topic with him (as he has not yet actually voiced his interest to me) but I have a feeling there's no other reliable way to make sure he knows my opinion. I would hate for our friendship to be permanently damaged because of this, and I want to take care of this issue as soon as possible. Unfortunately I don't know how long he's had these feelings as I only found out about them recently.
2007-05-08 07:12:14 · 9 answers · asked by V 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
If he hasnt expressed his feelings for you yet, then you are open to discuss how you feel for this other person. Tell him that you are really into this guy.
Say something like "you really are a great friend". Empansize the friend part when ever you can. If avoiding it all together is not what you want to do. Then talk to him. Let him know that you really value your friendship and think that it wouldnt work as something more. If he cant deal with you only wanting to be friends and nothing more, than maybe you shouldnt be friends at all.
2007-05-08 07:31:02 · answer #1 · answered by kissbutnevertell 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You hit it on the nail when you said "I value his friendship quite a bit and would hate to make things become awkward by openly discussing the topic with him." It is perfectly respectable to explain this to him in those terms. If, after your explanation, he finds that he can't deal with the feelings he has for you, then realize it is best for BOTH of you that he distance himself from you for a while. If your friendship is that strong, then he will be back, as a friend.
2007-05-08 07:16:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It may be that your friend understands more than you think he does. At least wait until he approaches you before you go center stage. The only way things will become awkward is if you make them that way. If the man approaches you, drop the drama and tell him you're in a serious relationship (which, by the way, you should have already told him; since he's such a good friend).
2007-05-08 07:27:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I somehow have the feeling I will break your heart with this, and I do not want to........ Am I correct in assuming you would like me to be more than a friend?..... I am so.... so... sorry.... I do definitely not want to lose this friendship with you, but I already found my life's companion..... if I hadn't.... but I truly would like to remain friends with you... can you handle that?...... there is little choice for your friend but to accept gracefully, even with a broken heart.... give him some time if it really hurts... give him a chance to be angry with you without letting the friendship explode.. it might take him a while to re-adjust back to friendship.. :)
2007-05-08 07:19:52 · answer #4 · answered by freebird31wizard 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know that you would not want to hurt the "just friend" guy, but you will have to take the risk, and tell him nicely. That is will only be platonic, forever. Chances are he will hear you, but won't really hear you. He will keep trying anyways. Guys are like that. You can tell them platonic and they hear, oh maybe if you like me as a freind, I can get a little further in the future.
2007-05-08 07:20:48 · answer #5 · answered by That 70's girl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk about your "guy" openly, and honestly with your friend. Let him know that you are serious about this other person. He should take the hint, and keep his feelings to himself. No awkwardness for either of you then!
2007-05-08 07:18:51 · answer #6 · answered by quietlycrazy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to her and tell her you don't want to ruin your friendship. You guys can experiment and then see what happens. , But she may be just your friend because girls and guys hug and stuff now ordinarily. Maybe its just you. but u should find out
2016-05-18 02:58:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately, in the end it will be his decision on how it ends up. all you can do is be honest and let him know what his friendship means to you...whatever you do, dont go do long without bringing it up. things will only get worse.
2007-05-08 07:17:12 · answer #8 · answered by htxrugger 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to be straight up and honest with him. Being straight forward is the best way to do it because if you try to be nice about it he may misconstrue the point you are trying to make.
2007-05-08 07:15:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋