How would you handle this situation?

Question

My now ex wife who left me for a coworker 6 months ago after a 15 year marriage called me to ask me a question. We share our kids every other week and she asked if I could keep them a day longer. She told me that her boyfriends grandmother past away and he would really like her to go to the funeral. I said no problem and if she could pass on my condolenses. Did I say the right thing? I really don't mean it because he is a homewrecker but it does take two. Is that how you would have handled it? I was very hurt by her affair and still am.thank you

I don't mind keeping my kids longer If I had the choice I would keep them all the time.

Answer 1

You were being nice and she should be ashamed of herself . dont worry homewreckers rarely stay together so move on with your life and forget about her ,she is trash and deserves to be treated as such . Why dont you have custody of your kids anyway ? were you trying to be the nice guy again ? it does not pay to be the nice one in the divorce I know .

Answer 2

Hey there!

You said that you didn't mean it regarding the condolenses - so I don't think you should have said it. Did you say it because you wanted to show your ex wife that you're not such a bad guy afterall? If so - in my book it might not have been the best move.

*If* that was your purpose I'm afraid your ex wife might take it as your understanding of why she had the affair and your acceptance of the new situation (divorced, swapping the kids on the weekend, and that she is still with the other guy). Just be careful. And be sure not to pose as a "pushover" if you know what I mean.

In relation to what the other posters think, I don't belive that you have anything to prove. You don't have to prove that you are the bigger person. You didn't have the affair. I'm not saying that you should be rude to your ex wife, as I understand you have to keep it at a mature level because of the kids. But no need to go overboard. You can be cold and not be rude at the same time. :-)

Answer 3

There different things you could have said however, you thought about what you should say and in your heart although broken you did the right thing. What you have done unknowingly is a major step in building your character. What you have also done, is given your self more time with what matters most, being there for your kids.

In life's strugle to love, it may not at all go as plan. However, there is someone out there who will love you more than your kids mother and will treat you with all the respect and love you rightfully deserve. Her actions just made room for you true love to enter into your life and the best part of this is your becoming a better man, a stronger man, a man of morals, a man of stature, a man who will appreciate and love his soul mate when she enters into your life.

My friend, when one door closes another window of opportunity will open when the time is right your soul mate will be there with open arms.

Answer 4

Hey, you're nicer than I would have been. My ex (14 yr marriage) left me for what used to be my best friend. I now have to deal with them all the time about my little girl.

According to what you believe....... no bad deed goes unpunished! Their time is coming, you just have to be patient and take care of those kids!

Answer 5

You did exactly the right thing. Regardless of what and how she did things, you have children. Nothing, I think, is more important in children's lives to see their parents interacting w/ one another in a positive manner. Being a mature intelligent person who is considerate and caring is a great role model for your children. Time will of course dull the pain of your divorce and situation surrounding it. Your relationship w/ her has to last your children's lives.

Answer 6

Kyle Petty?!! You hafta be kidding. also, I submit to in recommendations Mark Martin a pair years in the past declaring that 1/2 the adult males on the song wouldn't have a license to rigidity, no longer to educate rigidity in NASCAR. also, someone truly suggested Stewart, lmao. i ought to might want to pass with Carl Edwards, Burton, Kahn.

Answer 7

You did the right thing.
Death in the family is not the time to be ungracious.
After all you are a better man.

Answer 8

Yes I think that you did the right thing. I would have enjoyed the extra time with my children.

Answer 9

You are showing very good manners and takes character to do that. Nice to see that you are getting over it, somehow . You are acting mature to your new condition.
Best of luck!

Answer 10

do it. you have a right to your feelings and your sincere and not acting stupid over it. yes, be hurt but you think of the kids and that is good, cause most couples don't.