When my baby is born, I would like him to sleep with me but...?

Question

Only to the age where he doesn't realize that it will last forever. I don't want him to get into the habit of not being able to sleep unless he is sleeping with me....How old should I let him sleep with me before he starts realizing where he is? 2 months?

He won't be sleeping with me every night...but there will be nights when I want to cuddle with him (since I'm breastfeeding it will be easy to wake up as I am laying to breastfeed him in the middle of the night)

Answer 1

Hello there,
Honey I have to tell you that in the years that I have spent helping mothers learn about breastfeeding I have never in my life heard such ridiculous stories in my life! Mothers who smother their own babies!? That has to be the silliest thing that I have ever heard! Mothers who have less sense than a mother cat? Mothers who are so totally lacking in any maternal instinct that they roll over on their own babies! That is the most ludicrous thing I have ever, ever heard! I had my first child 30 years ago and from the first night in the hospital he slept in my arms and breastfed as he wanted all night long. When I took him home we did the same thing and it never occurred to me or to anyone else that I would roll over on him! I can tell you that NO baby is going to lie there and let anyone just roll over on them! They would kick and scream and in general throw a fit and no one would sleep thru that! The only way I can imagine such a thing happening would be if the mother was intoxicated to the extreme or if she were using some kind of drugs. In these cases she should not be the one taking care of the baby under any circumstances anyway.
By the time my babies were three or four months old I had a bassinette next to my bed. To be honest tho, after they woke up for their first snack I seldom if ever put them back in the bassinette, they stayed with me for the rest of the night.
I can not imagine what the reason is that these people have written in and given you such awful advice! I just hate to think that you might let it discourage you from one of the greatest, sweetest experiences that women thru the ages have enjoyed. Believe me there was a time when it was just assumed that of course a new baby's place was cuddled down at his mothers side! If a baby is not safe at his mothers side then where on earth would he be safe?? I can not imagine what motive someone would have for telling you that you would be putting your baby at some kind of risk by letting him sleep with you! I am quite sure that these letters did not come from breastfeeding mothers. According to "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" which is written by the La Leche League ( the ultimate authority on breastfeeding) "Recent research on SIDS shows that sleeping with your baby, along with breastfeeding, actually decreases the risk of SIDS." The book goes on to explain the benefits of sleeping with your baby and talks about how it has been done without risk for "centuries". It goes on to talk about how safe a baby is in bed with his mommy.
Please don't let the poor answers that you have received keep you from one of the greatest joys of mothering! You will never be sorry that you let your baby sleep with you but if you miss this priceless experience because of a few bizarre replies I know that you will be sorry. Talk to more breastfeeding mothers and listen to what they say. Read the book that I mentioned. Trust your instinct! You know that you would not do anything to hurt your baby! You are right!
Congratualtions for making the wonderful decison to breastfeed your baby. That shows that you are a wonderful, well informed and loving mother to be.
Listen to your instincts. Do what your heart tells you to do. Enjoy the short time that your baby is tiny and good luck with the wonderful experiences that are ahead of you!
Love and Blessings
Lady Trinity~

Answer 2

Get a bassinet and put it next to your bed so you don't have to walk through the dark, sleepy. This way you can simply lean over pull your baby to you, stay comfortable, breastfeed, and then place the baby back in the bassinet. This way you will eliminate the 10min it takes you to wake up then walk to the next room, then 20-40 min to nurse, walk back to your room and try to relax back down only to wake up in a few hours, never truly resting. Plus you have the benefit of the fact that your baby can hear you breathe. There are studies that say that one reason for SIDS is because the baby might forget to breathe. A great benefit for having the baby in the same room. However the likelihood of your rolling over on your baby is so small I didn't hesitate to bring my baby to bed with me. All you have to do is make sure the bed is not soft and keep distance between the two of you.

Answer 3

I had all 3 of my kids sleep with me when they were born. It is more of a security blanket I think more for me, they ended up going in their own cribs in there room at about 2 months. I had no issues transiting them from my bed to the crib either. I am such a light sleeper that any little movement they made I was up. And plus the fact that we have a Cali King bed helps so there was enough room. Your baby will be fine!!

Answer 4

Two to three months is a good time frame. But you can also get the small cribs or bassinets that attach to you bed between your mattress and box spring. So that way he sleeps close to you but will not become accustomed to sleeping in your bed. Try the two links belowfor examples. Good Luck.

Answer 5

I co-slept with my daughter for 5 months. I thought it was great! She was a preemie, so the first 6-8 weeks I had to pump and feed her out of a tube and then a bottle, but she slept on my chest. They said it helps preemies keep their core temperature and regulate their respiration. I also just couldn't bear to put her down! I wanted to be able to feel her breathing.

Then, after she started breastfeeding, it was great because she could breastfeed while I was lying down, and basically she would help herself all night long!

But after about 4 months, she started getting too big and it was uncomfortable for all of us. I would say 3-4 months is the perfect time to transition to a crib. I actually waited until 5 months.

By 6 months, it's definitely starting to get too late.

Good luck!!! Enjoy your newborn!

Answer 6

My daughter slept with us until she was 8 months, then we moved her to the playpen and she would goto sleep on her own and stay asleep just fine... no problems at all. She didn't like her crib though, I think the bars scare her, but she sleeps in her toddler bed now just fine & falls asleep on her own and she's only 12 months old. (he b-day was may 5th!)
bythe way, ppl who keep saying they made that "mistake" or have friends who did it doesnt matter. I have friends who didnt co-sleep & their kids still came into their rooms... also the stories of suffocation... 90% of them the parents had been drinking or under some kind of drug influence. If your sober your alert enough to realize whats going on.

If you want to co sleep do it. I suggest doing some research on Dr. Sears. he is totally for co-sleeping and can suggest the safe ways to doit. just google his name or whatever. anyway, good luck to you. It was the BEST DECISION I ever made! I am also going to co-sleep with all my kids that come down the road (which will prob be now more that 2 lol).

Answer 7

Well sleeping with your child is beautiful; however I would warn you not to do so until he/she gets a little bigger. If you are not use to sleeping with a newborn in your bed, you could inadvertently crush them if don't realize they are in your bed.

You and your spouse are probably not resting as soundly as before so it wouldn't be a good idea for them to sleep with you just yet.

In terms of when you should stop sleeping with them- use your judgment. Every child is different. Don't get hung up with all the advice people will give you, use your judgment. I'm sure you'll do the right thing.

When they get bigger, let them fall asleep with you and put them in their bed. I love the fact that you are developing the closeness- that bond.

Children grow up very quickly, so enjoy them when they are little. (You will treasure the times when they were little and slept with you.) I am lucky that my two year old sneaks in my bed every morning to hug and sleep with my wife and I.

It's a magical thing, enjoy.

Answer 8

I have 2 boys and made that mistake on the first one, I do not suggest you put him in the bed with you at all. We said 2-3 months tops and he was there until he was 18 months!!! It is not an easy habit to break and it will be hell on your sex life. I suggest what we did with our second baby ~ put him in a bassinet beside your bed- that way he is still close and you can reach him easy to breastfeed.

Answer 9

"Jackson", i understand completely what you want...i am a mom and i also wanted my child close to me at night. i also breastfed. i also let my daughter sleep with me, but it ended up being for the first 9 months (that's when i weaned her off of the breast. i found it very hard to get her in her own bed while still breastfeeding her)!

now she's fifteen months and she actually doesn't go to sleep unless she's in her crib. when i transitioned her from the breast, i moved her to her crib (which is still in my room) and changed her nighttime routine. when she slept with me, we just went to bed. now that she sleeps by herself, i let her play and get tired while i do chores or check e-mail, (or have quiet time with the hubby in another room). then i get her a warm bath, a baby massage with lavender baby lotion, and a bottle of WARM milk with banana flavored cereal (by Gerber). she's sleep within the hour without having to be in bed with me.

first sidenote: the sex life doesn't have to suffer...find a new place to get busy: the guestroom, perhaps, when babies in her crib. the laudry room was always nice! the sofa was much more comfortable than it looked (wink, wink)!

second sidenote: a lot of parents that 'rolled' over on their babies were under the influence of drugs (illegal or prescribed, they have the same effect!), alchohol or *doctor prescribed sleeping medications*.

NEVER put the baby inthe bed with you if you've had a (not even one) drink, if you smoke anything that would make you sleepier than usual, and NEVER when you've had a sleeping pill. not even over-the-counter sleepers like tylenolPM or niquil-nighttime. mommy fatigue and medication can be dangerous in a co-sleeping situation!

i say this because even though i am an advocate for co-sleeping, i also know of a parent whose daughter died just this year from her father suffocating her in her sleep, but he'd had ONE drink.

please keep this in mind and share it with your husband.

instead of piling on the blankets, keep the room warm and limit the amount of covers you use, and do not smoke cig's in the bedroom because both of these can be contributing factors for SIDS!

Positve note: my entire family practices co-sleeping in each of their households and we've never experienced "Accidental Parental Rollover". NEVER. and that's three generations of atleast seven mothers!

hope this helps!

Answer 10

I'd actually say you could keep him with you until about six months. Get a co-sleeper (a small crib with only three sides that attaches to the bed) so he can sleep next to you, but still know that he is in his own space and it will make the transition to the crib easier. Good luck! :)