My husband of 2.5 years, dated for 6 or 7 years prior to, as of lately has been saying he is confused about what he should be doing with his life. He has been upset because I won't go places with him all the time (though I try) or do ALL the chores around the house, that I won't hang out with some of his old friends who have stolen (alot) from us and called me several cruel names,
he has been very depressed lately ,
and even when he was going to a concert with a couple of his friends, he decided not go and said he "stared at a wall downtown all night until early morning".
What should I do, he want really talk to me, other than complaining about me not going everywhere,
though I am very ill (like cancer/aids ill, I don't have those things, but what I have is rare, but very serious, & my immune system is crap)
he has always known this,
what should I do
2007-05-08 06:20:37 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe it's he is worried about you. He may feel guilty about living his life when you are ill. By you staying at home when he goes out he can't have a good time without you. It is hard on a spouse when their other half is ill. Just encourage him to go out and when you are up to it go with him. Will be thinking of you and take care of yourself.
2007-05-08 06:45:13 · answer #1 · answered by dialrb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make an appointment with your family doctor to have your hubby assessed for depression. Then get both of you into family counseling. Talking about things with a third neutral party can really help you see what isn't obvious to you at the moment. After all...isn't that why you asked this question here?
Good luck :)
2007-05-08 13:25:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing I can think of now is that he should be there for you now, not the other way round. Maybe he has difficulty accepting your illness, these are not lighthearted subjects, and although counselling may help, making the suggestion is often a tough thing to do... maybe you should ask for the counselling and in that way learn how to help him... but I believe he should be the one who needs to become aware of what is truly bothering him and learn how to solve that himself, because that is probably the only thing that will make him happy... getting out of it, finding the way back to happiness... :)
2007-05-08 13:26:16 · answer #3 · answered by freebird31wizard 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he needs to seek counseling. If you have medical insurance most carriers will give referrals to see a specialist. If he is getting that depressed then you want to do this sooner rather than later before he does something to hurt himself. Good luck!
2007-05-08 13:26:27 · answer #4 · answered by #1 Lucy Fan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do need to hang out with him. But the friends I would stay away from them.If he cant understand that something is wrong. As far as being ill Try to do as much with him as posible. He should understand. If not .I dont think he really loves you.
2007-05-08 13:28:43 · answer #5 · answered by Fire fly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to go to the doctor it sounds like he has depression and might need counselling or medication to get past it.
2007-05-08 13:23:59 · answer #6 · answered by Steven's Mommy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some sort of counsel is probably going to be required. I am sorry you are going through all this and I hope the best for you
2007-05-08 13:26:09 · answer #7 · answered by pickletbug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both need to go to counselling and he need to get to a doctors, sounds like he has severe depression.
2007-05-08 13:25:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
FIRST OFF DONT STRESS YOUR SELF BECAUSE OF YOUR HEALTH SITUATION.(YOUR HEALTH FIRST) THEN THE RELATIONSHIP..CANT HAVE ONE WITHOUT THE OTHER....
IT SEEM AS IF HE'S IN NEED OF TRUE FRIENDSHIP...OR HE FEEL AS IF HE IS LACKIN TRUE FRIENDSHIP...
...HONESTLY THERE IS NO BETTER FEELING THEN YOUR WOMEN BY YOUR SIDE...DURING EVENTS THAT SOMEONE MAY FEEL SPECIAL ABOUT... EVEN SOMETHING SIMPLE....JUST BREAK THE ICE ...WITH HIM ..EVEN IF IT IS REMINDING HIM ABOUT YOUR ILLNESS..
YOU MENTION .my immune system is crap .BASICALLY HOW CAN YOU TWO MAKE TIME FOR EACH OTHER ON A BASE LEVEL FOR THE BOTH OF YOU. (EYE TO EYE)
IF HE BACKS OFF GIVE HIM TIME...TIME TO FIGURE HIS SELF OUT...BRING THE CONVERSATION UP IN PERIODS MEANING START WHERE YOU LEFT OFF: NOT AT THE BEGINING ON THE LAST THING ABOUT THAT PARTICULAR ENCOUNTER...EVENTUALLY THE ICE WILL BREAK BEING HIS WIFE ....DONT GIVE HIM A CHANCE FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO LISTEN TO HIS PROBLEMS....***THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN IS DIVORCE...BECAUSE HE IS ONLY IN A MOMENT DEPRESSION...BREAK HIM OUT OF IT.....GOOD LUCK.
2007-05-08 13:40:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Medical doctor for depression, counseling for everything else.
2007-05-08 13:25:55 · answer #10 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋