What is all the hype about his first love?

Question

My husbands ex girlfriend was his first love and mother of his first two kids (we have 1 child together. When we got together everyone including his family would say things like "he'll always love her" and "you can expect im to go back". They basically made it clear that she would always be "queen b" with him because she had his children first. When I accused him of cheating on me with her once, you know what everyone said? "so what if he did, thats his baby's mama" Even though my husband says its not true, I still feel second especially because even though he knows she doesn't like me he's never confronted her about it. Is it true that i can never take her place and does she have lifetime rights because she is the mother of his first child? (they were never even married!)

Answer 1

Your first love is most likely who you have lost your virginity to. Virginity is a very precious moment, at least to me it is.

Answer 2

Why does he need to confront her about not liking you? She doesn't have to like you. I don't necessarily think that she will be #1 in his life because she had his children first, but she will always be a part of his life because she had children with him first. At least until the kids are grown up and out on their own. Even then there will be times that they will have to be around each other. I will say that his family doesn't seem to have much respect for you though. That is just mean and petty for them to say such things to you and I would ask him to ask his family to not talk like that around you. Even if it's how they feel, they should have enough respect for him not to do that to you.
Red flags should have been going up when they were saying this stuff before you were even seriously dating. It should have been a warning about the way that they were going to treat you.
As far as loving her forever, that can only be answered by him. If he says he loves you and not her, then you need to be able to put whatever his family says behind you, or else you will drive yourself crazy and drive him away. If you can't believe him and can't trust him to be around her, then you don't have much of a marriage.

Answer 3

I think that a persons first love will always carry a special place in thier heart but it doesnt mean that there is no room for someone else. I thind your husband should tell his family about saying stuff like that if it upsets you and he is always going to have some sort of relationship with her because of the kids, but you should realize if that relationship had been a good one they both would still be in it and they are not and he is with you. So dont worry so much

Answer 4

No! She doesnt have rights over you. You are his first and only wife! She gave him children and thats it! You did too. His family are putting to much on power on her. She has none. Just because she is technically his babys mama its not aright that he cheat on you with her. Obviously she wasnt good enough to make his wife. Hes probably never confronted her because he probably just doesnt care what she has to say. Dot let this ex ruin your life, or marriage. Dont even bother! And when his family say "he'll always love her" say "yeah then why did he marry me?"

Answer 5

His family is wrong to treat you this way. She may have been his first in most things, but your his first when it came to marriage, so ignore what they have to say about her. The only thing that counts is your husband and child. If they choose to be this way then let them. You shouldn't be made to feel second best. He shouldn't have to confront her about how she feels about you, the more the knows how she gets to you the better she likes it. Live your life and ignore people who don't have anything postitive to say.

Answer 6

It could very well be that the family of your guy feels that his ex was a good woman and would have been good for your guy and a good addition to the family. They have no right to burden you with it though and should be more supportive of your child with this family. Whatever reason they have for not giving this respect is reason enough fro you to put your foot down! You do not mention if your boyfriend is part of this or if he sits back and keeps his mouth shut. As it is still happening, I doubt this man has said anything and therefore must start sticking up for you or risk loosing you.

Demand respect for who you are, who your child is and explain to them that if they are unwilling to let go of their son's past, your going to be part of it!