I caught my husband?

Question

Doing you know at the computer. Usually it wouldn't bother me but being 22 weeks pregnant and feeling fat and unattractive and over emotional....I'm really upset over it. I can't even get the image out of my mind. I know I might be over reacting and he did apologize but how do I get that image out of my head?

Answer 1

Feeling fat is the WORST part of being pregnant. You just need to set your emotions aside and remember he is a guy and guys just can't help touching themselves. It has nothing to do with how you look right now, he still loves you. Pregnant or not he is still going to masturbate to porn. Good luck and remember, your still beautiful!

Answer 2

WTF Have a talk w/ him. Apology or not- why did he do it? What, you aren't good enough? Yeah it's a normal thing for men to do (to a point, is my belief). But when they're at the computer they're looking at other women... so my initial statement- WTF. Have you turned down sex? Do you two still fool around? Does he think it's an excuse to look at porn? For me, I would need more than "I'm sorry" due to the fact I would be 22 wks pregnant, feeling fat and unattractive and over emotional. Men (some men/a lot of men) need to learn how to say more than "I'm sorry" sometimes by showing sympathy/empathy, remorse and comfort and appreciation towards you. Both words and actions. So you would go about getting the image out of your head by resolving the issue. Talk, listen, share and come up with a mutual agreement of protocol from now on.

Answer 3

Honey, I wish I knew the answer to that one. I've caught my husband twice since we got our computer. I know he's done it many more times, also. I don't know what exactly it is with guys, but you have to really just ignore it. He's not so much(I think) doing it because he doesn't want to be with you, so much as guy's just do that. Like I said I don't really know why. Maybe he is scared of having sex with you because of the pregnancy or something. Try to talk to him about it. And let it go, if you can. You're not the only one going through the same thing, and I'm not even pregnant, so there's no excuse for my husband.

Answer 4

I hope I don't offend too many people with this response, so if I do I apologize in advance. The only part I totally agree with other posters is that your husband/boyfriend should have found a private place to do what he was doing, certainly not in public view. Other than that, get real. Men will do that regardless of who their partner is. What attracted him to you in the first place?
It probably was that he was the MAN of your dreams. Let him be a man, and stop trying to make him think and behave like a woman. Its not going to happen even if he turns blue telling you he will behave like you. Controlling someone is not love. As long as he's not cheating, and is satisfying your sexual needs, leave him alone.

Answer 5

I so feel you, I came from a horrible marriage that had sexual abuse and cheating and my ex used to hold up Playboy and scream at me, that I wasn't like them, did I expect him to love me, so I have a hatred against porn and even magazines, and I was about 12 weeks pregnant with my twins and I found my husband ( my second who is wonderful) at the computer and with a victoria secrets magazine. I didn't talk to him for a week, and seriously considered leaving. We have had to have a LOT of long talks, and I have had to do a lot of soul searching, shutting out what has happened before and focusing on what a wonderful man he is, because he is absolutly great in every other way, I even got to sleep in this morning and woke to find him mopping the whole house and had cleaned it. I still, lay awake at night with that immage in my head, but we talk, if I am feeling bad, I tell him and he reassures me of his love. It has been a few motnhs and I am still struggling, of course I have a lot of baggage adding to my situation, but it will fade and the only thing I can suggest is very open communication. We put blocks on the computer and he only gets on when I am around. It sits in the kitchen/dining room now and we don't have any magazines in the house. The fact that he is willing to do this remindes me that he obviously loves me, a man who didn't wouldn't do those things to make me feel safer. I try and think of that, late at night when I am feeling so bad about it. Good luck

Answer 6

Buy him a playboy and show him the bathroom. I know how you feel I too am pregnant and feeling unattractive, but, I never caught my hubby doing that. I just tell him to go into a locking room and don't tell me what he's doing.He may feel like having sex with you is wrong,he now sees you as the carrier of life, the life you 2 created and is scare about hurting you or the baby.My husband did. And with my first I breast fed and he wouldn't even touch them because he felt that they ere no longer something sexual that they were a source of food for our child. But don't fret, it passes. How do you think I am on baby #2!!!! LOL! Good Luck

Answer 7

Hi Aimee, I hope your feeling better in yourself, I too would be absoloutly heart broken if I found my partner doing that but deep down I think we all know that we all have fantasies and desires, it means nothing to him and probably just wanted the release!! At least he is sat in front of a computer and not actually sleeping with other women, he obviously thought he would be in private, i mean who knows what any of our guys get up to when they are in the bathroom/shower etc. I too am pregnant and know that even if an attractive female walks past me in the street I feel fat and ugly and assume my partner wants to look at them instead!,.......pregnancy hormones dont help the situation. Dont be to tough on him but then again you could also talk to him and explain how hurt you feel, I bet he is very understanding. Good luck to you with your birth xxx

Answer 8

Your husband unfortunaly still has needs. I was feeling the same way when I was pregnant, unattractive, fat, and everything until my doctor, yes my female doctor, a mother of 2, suggested my husband and I have sex. It made me feel that he still wanted me, even though I was pregnant. It also let my husband know I knew he still had needs. Talk to your doctor, most doctors will tell you unless you have some problem sex is perfectly ok. Talk to your husband as well.

Answer 9

That same thing happened to me.I went with my friend to the doctors and we decided to go hang out after so we stopped off to get some more diapers for my oldest and there he was. He swore that was not what he was doing. It hurt my feelings so bad. It wasn't like we didn't have sex. We had it all the time. It was hard to get that out of my head. We hav a house hold that does not have dirty movies or magazines. After that I made him turn off our internet. After a while we turned it back on and I check his history to see where all he has been. He has no idea of how to delete it. Luckily he made a promise and he stuck to it so far. Time heals the heart and as time passes you wil be able to get the image out of your head.

Answer 10

I don't think you should make a big deal out of it. More than likely, it had nothing to do with your weight. He probably just needed some sexual relief, so he resorted to pc porn.

A common misconception is that once guys get married, they won't need to masturbate anymore. That's what the wife is for, right?? WRONG!! A guy will never stop masturbating. A guy could have the most beautiful, sexy, tantalizing wife in the world; and he will still masturbate.

Don't worry about this incident, and don't push the issue too far. The fact that you caught him J.O. is probably pretty embarrassing for him...