so so depressed about my weight?starting to loss my spark and charm?

Question

i come to the uk 6 months ago during that period i have went 4 dress size.i think its becoz i have been indoor all the time and have'nt made freinds.i need motivation to start losing weight because it takes the happy and funny person i have always been.next year june going to visit home and i need to loss 100 pounds by that time.i cant visit looking like this people will just laugh and say damaging comments.i always dream of being slim and looking gorgous.i have da looks its just this body i feel low.i dont wat to date until i loss weight i feel ashmed of who i let myself become.ever since i gained weight i just let go of myself and i hate myself.all day i dream of having boyonce body i mean all day.this is my first time being depressed just dont c my role in this world.i have high expectation out of live which none of the are able to meet with reality.help guyz,confused.

Answer 1

If your family and friends love you then it shouldnt matter what they think of you because they'll love u no matter what and if your friends do make fun of you and say stuff then they arent really good friends are they? and if your worried about guys theres one that will love u for who you are inside and not the outside...

Answer 2

Baby,

You haven't lost your spark or charm :-) you've merely misplaced them.

I have always been slim and now I've moved to another country, have no friends and no job, I've been putting weight on too. It can happen to anybody. Even Beyonce would put on weight if she felt as bad about herself as you do! She's not slim because she's a more fabulous person than you.

You sound like a really nice person and I think it's a shame you won't let yourself date or visit your family until you live up to your own high expectations. Punishing yourself like that just isn't fair. If you had a friend who treated you the way you treat yourself, wouldn't you tell her to get stuffed?

Don't tell yourself you have to lose 100 pounds before you can visit home. Just tell yourself that today you're going to eat healthy food (and yes, it's healthy to eat just a bit of chocolate every day :-D ), go for a walk in the sun, and do something you enjoy.

In my opinion, your role in this world is to be you. There's no one else who can ever be you. You'll probably say, but what if I'm no good? Why should I be me if I am no good? Well, you're the only one who thinks that. Other people see you for the sparky, funny person you are. When I feel like I can't live up to my own high expectations, this quote I found makes me feel a bit better:

“Use those talents you have. You will make it. You will give joy to the world. Take this tip from nature: The woods would be a very silent place if no birds sang except those who sang best.”
-Bernard Meltzer

Answer 3

Depression is a modern commodity seems like. There's clinical studies that suggest that it has to do with a chemical unbalance in the brain. Others suggest that it's a decision everyone does, but those don't come out saying it out loud for fear of being labeled "politically incorrect"... or worse.
The good news is that You can DO something about both. The question is do you want to, or you prefer to linger in your depression longer and get attention that way. I am not being rude or inconsiderate here, I am trying to help, and for that I need to give you a reality check. I am not even saying it's easy. We all hate change, change is painful, and everyone who says otherwise is trying to sell something. So many times we linger in our weaknesses because we don't want to go through the pain of changing. Therefore, few people change. It takes a greater pain than the pain of change to make us want to change. So..... when the current pain provoked by your mundane situation and commodity of depression associated with the weight issue reaches peak level, you will consider perhaps that the pain it takes you to change is actually a lot less than what you're enduring now.
Here's a few suggestions. Set your mind on other things than your weight for a week or so. I think - since you reached out - it's time for you to do something about it.
a few practical suggestions would be getting out in the sunlight, walking, biking, whatever you enjoy doing, and don't kill yourself doing it either. Build up to it rather than set out huge goals. Eat more fresh foods than cooked foods. If you like bananas eat at least 3 a day, they contain a substance called ....................... that is a very efficient antidepressant... and natural. Focus more on eating right rather than eating for the sake of eating. Set small goals and reward yourself with other things than food. Don't starve, it's very unhealthy. Rather eat fruit and /or veggies when you're hungry for sweets. Don't set goals that are impossible to attain, just try to stay healthy. Any physical activity that you enjoy it's good for you because that releases the endorphins in your body that help out with the depression issues as well. You are in control, you are the corporate CEO when it comes to your body. Don't let your body tell you what you can and can't do. You are creative and will find solutions to get over that issue. A skinny person is not necessarily a happy or beautiful person. be happy in the state you are. Happiness should not depend on happenings. You can be happy in the worst circumstances. I know I sound like Pollyanna here, but give it a try, would you? couldn't hurt. And if every now and then you slip back into it, so what? You get up again and you work on it again. Don't lose focus, you'll be just fine. It's not fair that a crummy thing as weight steals away your life too. Remember, the key is "DO SOMETHING" ... And if one road doesn't work, there's always other roads and they all lead to Rome... :)
And you can visit anyone looking just like you are. You are not your weight, the weight is just a part of you, and while you aren't too proud of it, that's one thing, but don't let it rule over your life!!! It's not fair, and it's not worth it!
People who love you will always love you whether you're 100 pounds lighter or heavier. Put your best feature in high gear, and be the funny person you are without thinking of how much you weigh for a second there. I hate what this world has done to us! The truth is nobody is pleased with their weight. The super skinny want more butt or more boob, the fat people want a waist and no butt.... and so on... Nobody actually knows what the "ideal" model is. So why worry? Manage to do your best with what you've got. That's how life is lived.
Stop chasing the rainbows. Did you know that not eating, is actually helping you gain the weight?
You have so much more to give to this world than just the way you look!!! Look around you see who's more miserable than you and reach out to them! and that's a very fulfilling way to live. Hmm? Good luck to you!

Answer 4

Your problem isn't your weight, that is the outcome of your depression. You have to get over the depression to get rid of the weight. You say "how can I get over the depression with all this extra weight?" Well if you want to get rid of the extra weight you are going to have to... You have to get out and take care of your situation. You can go to counselors or help groups etc... or you can realize what the problem is and do something about it. You are the one who can fix the problem. You have to take charge of your life and do what needs to be done for YOU. Don't worry about losing weight, that isn't your problem. Worry about getting a life that is rewarding and full of stuff. Fun stuff, difficult stuff, dirty stuff, unpleasant stuff, great stuff, not so great stuff.... As long as it is full. If you are a quitter you have to change that NOW. Don't say " I can't do it" say "I CAN DO IT" Go to the library, the supermarket, a dance club. Volunteer at some place to help the homeless or children etc.. Take walks in the park and talk to people, start conversations. You need to start and then continue with your own help. You can do it, you just do it...

Answer 5

The people that make fun of you are not people you want to associate with anyways. They are just jealous that you can have friends by being yourself. While they think they have to act fake and look perfect.
People who really care for you will not look on the outside. They will look at you fun, and loving personality. I am not saying it is not a good thing to get out and exersize. I usually go outside and play basketball everyday.
Find something that you like doing outside and go for it. Maybe some kind of sport. I am really good at football,but I choose to play basketball because it is something I want to get better in.

I wish you the best of luck and remeber, that it is not what is on the outside that counts. Good Luck~*

Answer 6

I had 50 lbs. to lose and I started by just doing 5 or 10 minutes of cardio everyday...that way, it was such a small amount that I really couldn't talk my self out of doing it since it was nothing, just 5 minutes.
Now, less than a year later, I'm up to 30 minutes about 5 days a week. I've lost 24 lbs. and I do feel better and less depressed.

Just try out small.

Answer 7

you need the support of your family to achieve this goal. losing a hundred pounds will not be easy but can be done with sheer determination on your part. check first with your health professional if you're healthy enough to start exercising.

clear your fridge with all those junk foods and start by eating right and eating the right food. salads, low calorie food and stay away from carbs. force yourself to go out in the morning for a brisk walk everyday. then later on if you can handle it, start jogging but don't overdo it.

better for you to seek a trainer to keep you on your feet and one who can monitor your eating habits and progress with your health. again, 100 lbs is not easy to lose but you can do it.

Answer 8

Just watch your portion sizes. Eat on smaller plates and go for a walk after each meal. I know weight loss is the hardest thing to do, but if you really commit, you CAN DO IT!

Best of luck to you!

Answer 9

Sit on a yoga ball as an alternative to a chair to work ones core.

Answer 10

i think that you should do something about it because it seems that just thinking about it is not going to help, so in order to feel like your trying to accomplish something and feel better about yourself go out there start to exercise, eat right, i know i also feel like that i sometimes get on the treadmill, take my dog on walks and cook at home 5 times out of the week. just do it for yourself, feel confident