How young is too young?

Question

I know I'm gonna get some stupid answers but here I go regardless...

My boyfriend is 28. I'm nearly 23. We've been together 18 months. If we were to get engaged and plan on marrying in say, a year, is that too young? What's your gut reaction?

No proposals have been made, but we have discussed our long term plans together with regards to career moves, ideal and expected income and even family values re. children (NOT soon). Oh yes, and I found a leaflet on customised ring design in his pocket when he lent me his coat!!!!

Why do some of you assume I don't have an education and need to party more??

Answer 1

MY HONEST OPINION IS THAT YOU SHOULD GET
ON YOUR EDUCATION AND SET YOUR SELF UP
WITH A CAREER YOU ENJOY. ESTABLISH YOUR
SELF AND BE CLEAR MINDED . AND SERIUOSLY
THINK ABOUT MARRIAGE AND IF YOU ARE READY
FOR THIS.. YOU ARE STILL YOUNG AND HAVE
UR WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF YOU.DO NOT RUSH
INTO SOMETHING YOU ARE NOT READY FOR.
YOU AND ONLY YOU WILL KNOW WHEN YOU ARE
READY FOR MARRIAGE. YOU REALLY SHOULD
ENJOY YOUR LIFE FIRST AND HAVE NO REGRETS
IN THE FUTURE. IN EXAMPLE: WEII I SHOULD OF
GOT MY BACELORS DEGREE OR I COULD OF
DONE THIS, OR I WOULD HAVE DONE THIS , THAT
OR THE OTHER... TAKE YOUR TIME.........

Answer 2

Everyone is different, and this is just my opinion based on my experience: you are both definitely too young.

I met my husband when I was nearly 21, we married when I was 24 and (4 children later) we are going through a divorce now (we have been married for 14 years). I have been very unhappy with him for several years and made the very painful decision to end things.

My point, really, is that at your age you are going to change an awful alot over the next 10 years and so is your boyfriend. If you manage to change and adapt together, that is wonderful, but it doesn't always happen.

If you are not planning to have kids any time soon, why get married ? Stay in your relationship and wait and see what happens over the next 5 years or so.

I am sure you love eachother very much and I wish you the best, but marriage is such a huge commitment and, more to the point, it causes such pain, complication, not to mention legal fees getting out of it.

Best of luck !

Answer 3

You are not too young. My wife and I were both 23 when we were married and have been happily married now for 14 years, with 2 great kids. I know it sound corny, but sometimes you just know. I know I did. I just knew that this is what I was supposed to do. I was just finishing school, she was done. We made ourselves have a longer engagement so that we could be sure to be done with college, both have jobs, and be completely sure this was what we wanted. Just like in every marriage/relationship we have had our hard times, but the highs have definitely outweighed the lows. You just have to make sure you are both on the same page with some of the topics you listed. You don't have to always completely agree, but at least knowing that you are both heading in the same direction is good.

I hope you are as happy as we have been in our marriage!! Good luck.

Answer 4

I think that people, especially women, change alot in their 20's to 30's. I did, when I think of my boyfriend who I was with at 23 I cringe, although we were ready to settle and get married too just like you are. I am a different person now at 33. I got married two years ago to a man who is way, way better suited to me than any of my exes were.
If you don't want kids yet then why get married now? My gut reaction is to tell you to wait until you are at least in your late 20's, or when ever you decide to have children and see if you feel the same then.
If it is the occaision you want then just throw a big party instead!

Answer 5

There really is no right answer to that question, that age may be too young for some and not for others. The real question is whether you are in love.

My wife and I started dating when we were 14 and were married at 19. I'm 29 now and we are still together and love bein with each other. Alot of people told us we were too young but we knew we wanted to be together.

18 months can be plenty of time to get to know someone.

Answer 6

I was married at 23 and my husband was 31. We both felt we were ready. We already have kids and have our careers set. If you feel that you are ready and you are in love with each other then why not go for it? It sounds like you two have done a lot of thinking about this.

Answer 7

I don't think you are too young at all. You are at exactly the right age to wear white and he is ripe to be plucked at 28. It's good to start building a life together in your 20's, because of the wealth of time the two of you will have. Just great darling. Congrats.

Answer 8

Well, that is about the age that you can marry... however most important question you both need to ask is WHY do you want to get married?
If the answer is because you LOVE each other.. then well.. you do not need to get married to love each other right?..
However marriage comes with responsibilities and commitment. This is the question you both should consider. Are you ready for that????..

This means financially stable.. does mean you need to have $millions.. but at least sufficient enough to be able to maintain a roof over your head, plus all the basic neccessities etc.. The other things about marriage, you will also need to consider both side of the families as well.. you will most probably need to interact more with each other family.. perhaps you want to have some time so that you are both comfortable with that before marrying..

take care..

Answer 9

I dont think you are to young to young to me is some one who is like 14 with a 28 year old and talking marriage that is just to young but you are the right age

Answer 10

The nature of your question does seem to suggest that you are a little immature for marriage, why rush things, travel together, go on adventures, have fun etc then consider the more serious things in life.

Answer 11

Age isn't important, maturity is. When I married the first time I was 21 and he was 26. I was mature enough, but he was not. Unfortunately he didn't change much in the entire time we were together and we divorced. I am now remarried and my new husband is actually younger than me, but light years ahead of my ex.

I wish you the best.