IEP - does it get emotionally easier over time?

Question

I hate doing it. As we all do. IS there any way I can make it easier for me emotionally? I find it so embarassing to have to explain my son's special needs as they are initmate in nature. I know I will ahve to do this forever for him with everyone he ever encounters for school or work. I have paper work describing it and qucik fact sheets and a dvd describing his condition but I still hate it. maybe just venting but tell me does it get easier. He is just going to kgarden.

Answer 1

I don't think it will ever get that easy, but for me I finally
took a big step and put my children in a private
christian school, and there even though we still have
to go through every six months or so, at least it doesn't
hurt like it did with the public schools. At the public schools
I felt like they constantly put my kids down and acted like
they would never learn anything Good Luck

Answer 2

The first IEP is the hardest and they get easier over time. You won't have to explain his condition every time after that because the team will pretty much stay the same. DON'T be afraid to get emotional, you are discussing what best for your child. But don't let emotions get in the way of getting what you want out of the IEP, I always felt better when I had gotten what my son needed even if I had been crying in the IEP meetings. After awhile you'll be doing them with your eyes close. Tears come with the territory. Kindergarten was the hardest year for me too.

Answer 3

You know him best. Your description is important to us, the special ed teachers sitting across from you.
In the last two years I have had three families purposely withhold information from our team. Finally after all of us were really frustrated all these families disclosed information which was vital to the kid's education. If only they had shared the info earlier we might have had a different perspective and in two cases had a better suggestion for the kid's programing needs and LRE! I think the parents were wanting us to "discover" what the problems were but it just ended up wasting a lot of time.
So, try and think of it as educating the teachers, because YOU are the authority!!You live with him and you know him best. Believe me there are some people at the IEP who are admiring you and the courage you have to share details which will help people understand your kid! Hang in there!!!

Answer 4

All of the answers given are excellent. I am a retired teacher and a parent of 3 grown sons all of whom were in some type of Special Ed. None of them were severely handicapped but still needed much guidance etc. Fight for your rights. Find out what they are and seek other parent's advice from support groups! All school districts have PARENT ADVOCATES available. Call the Sp. Ed department in your district and set up a meeting with them. They will steer you in the right direction for counseling for not only your child but also you and the rest of you family. It will get easier if you are ARMED with KNOWLEDGE. You should never be embarrassed!

Answer 5

All people learn differently. You shouldn't feal bad that the school has to put you're boy on a IEP to understand that they nead to teach him.
I am dyslexic and ADHD I had an IEP all my school life. I felt bad too. That was until My step mom who was a teacher found out that it was the schools that are falling behind not the child. Do all you nead to for you're baby all the time and do not feel bad about it ever. We have to fight to make these schools put our children first.
You're child souled have more time to do things and some alone time with a teacher. Schools are becoming over crowded and this would help Even the most perfect book smart test taker.

Answer 6

I can't help you as far as the embarassment. But I do have to tell you that in most schools across the US, the LEGAL aspects of special ed and the schools fighting NOT to help children does NOT get easier over time, it gets MUCH worse. So many people are pulling out their kids for homeschool, private schools, LD schools, etc.

I don't know if this is happening to you, but if it is the best thing to do is learn about the state and federal special ed laws and your rights. Learn the step by step process that parents and schools have to take in special ed.

So many parents don't know about the laws and how they help them. And schools know this so they take advantage of the parents, be intimidating and sometimes hostile.

Some sites that will help with this part of special ed is=
www.wrightslaw.com
www.reedmartin.com
www.IEPrights.com
www.specialedlaw.blog

Go to www.schwablearning.org and sign up for free to post on their parent to parent message board. This board is the BEST one on the net for the type of problems you are experiencing. The parents are very nice and helpful and know their stuff !

Answer 7

As i have been a learning disabled student myself, i understand your frustration. I gather that the IEP business will stop when your son goes to college. The Board of Ed will to this every 5 years or so because they want your son to go to public school because they don't want to have to shell out the money to keep him in kindergarden. So in regards to my answer at least, venting does help. Yes. it does however it will get easier with time. I hope it gets better with time. If you want any recomendations i would be happy to give them to you.

Answer 8

Not knowing what your son's specific disability is, it is hard to say whether it will get easier emotionally or not. Try to view yourself as your son's champion. View the IEP meetings as a tool that you can use to get him the help that he needs to thrive. The IEP meetings that I have attended for my children have provided me with valuable information over the years.

Answer 9

It does get easier as time goes by, but don't forget your your childs best advocate and if you don't stand up to these people no one will. I to have a child with special needs and he's also blind. I have had to fight for years for his rights to be just like every other child, but if it wasn't for me he wouldn't have the apro. education and he would have fallen through the cracks of our educational system. I didn't want that for him then that would have proved I wasn't much of a parent if I didn't fight for my sons rights. It will take time for you but believe me it does get easier and you get more BOLDER. I hope everything goes well for you and I'm with you 100% I know you can do it as a parent.

Answer 10

I am an ESE teacher. Don't be embarrassed. It's hard for parents to understand that they are on the IEP TEAM....not mom vs. school. Everyone sitting around that table wants to help you and your son. I promise you, they've seen it all before. I did not rack up 35,000 dollars in student loans to make a teeny little salary to entertain myself. I did it because I LOVE KIDS, special kids. I love helping parents, meeting parents. I LOVE parents who show up for IEP meetings!!!! Thank you!!! Do not be embarrassed by your son's problems. He cannot help them. Be his best advocate. IEP teams will respect and appreciate you for that. Together, they will work to help your son overcome his problems or learn to manage them in a dignified way. Good Luck!