While having a fight..?

Question

people say hurtful things. for example "you are so stupid"

Do you think they honestly didn't mean it, or they just didn't mean to say it out loud?

:)

and BTW..no, I didn't have any fights lately. It was just a question to get people to think.

Thanks!

Answer 1

There have been times I have said things and didn't mean, but there are also times I did mean it but would never have said it if I wasn't so mad. I told my husband to Bite My A&S the other night and told him was acting like an A hole! Boy did I mean it!

Answer 2

Hurting people hurt people. Most people I know say mean things when they are arguing with someone - especially when it's someone they love. That person has hurt them somehow, and it seems like the first response is to try to hurt them as badly as they have hurt you. Then, they're immediately sorry they said it, but too proud to admit it & ask for forgiveness. There may be a bit of truth behind it, depending on what's said. If someone says "You're so stupid"...that usually means they think something you DID was stupid, not YOU personally.

btw....when my husband and I would argue years ago when we first got together, he would tell me to bite his a** or kiss his a** too - so I would tell him I didn' t have all day for a job that big, then I'd bite or kiss HIM on the cheek!

Answer 3

When people argue, they say things they don't mean, to hurt one another, to make them feel better about themselves, which is pointless. Or sometimes they'll insult you by mentioning your problems to hurt you, just to win the fight. But ofcoarse, there's no winning in a fight like that.

"If someone says you are so stupid." Either ignore them and walk away, so you can avoid a nasty fight, so noone can get hurt. Or tell them to grow up and get a clue...or something like that. Or, talk to an adult about that person and see if he or she can help you work a way to stop that bully from bothering you, ever again. Good luck.

Answer 4

Most of the time things are said to intentionally hurt the other person's feelings. Not that the person saying it truely means the stuff being said. Occasionally yes. But for the most part no.

Answer 5

When they are angry some people will say any nasty thing they can think of to win the argument, whether it is true or not, whether it is relevant to the argument or not, and even if it makes the other person feel lower than dirt. I think if a friend of yours gets really cruel in an argument then they aren't your true friend anyway.

Answer 6

It depends. If I set out to hurt someone because they tried to hurt me first I will say things that I don't mean just because I know that it will get to them.If I have serious problem and I'm not out to hurt them I just want to talk and try to find a solution and they won't listen or cooperate I get pissed and I mean what I say.

Answer 7

I argue allot with my girlfriend and i always say things that i dint mean, I just get caught up in the moment. I dint think you really mean them you just say nasty things out of anger. When I calm down i know i should have never said what i said.

Answer 8

depends on the situations, - people do say what you say in the heat of the moment is the things you really mean, other than that when people say things like u r stupid they don't really mean that

Answer 9

I think they mean it and use it to be hurtful, but it's something under normal circumstances they wouldn't say.

It wouldn't be hurtful if there was some truth. Like calling a PhD an idiot would only make him laugh at you.

Answer 10

I won't tell if you mean it or not, but usually people when are mad they say things that hurts because deep inside they do mean it but they would never say it when calm.