I was running my own business, building our dream home and I gave her all the time she needed to start her own business even helped her with marketing, business planning, etc. Not only this, for the previous 3 years I was providing her a new car, phone, computer, paying all expenses (including 3 holidays) and giving her money to spend on clothes, jewellery every month. It seemed the more I gave the more she wanted. We serarated because I was sick of her promising she would change and then asking for more. Recently she seems to have realised how much I was doing for our family and has turned up at my new home a few times in tears, saying how sorry she was. I have the kids 3 days a week and pay maintenace on time every week and just want to get on with my life and help my boys grow into strong men. I want more kids and want to find someone else that does too but am worried that someone will take advantage again. Is this natural and what do I do to make sure it does not happen again?
2007-05-07 23:35:14 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, I don't think that all women are this greedy.
2007-05-07 23:40:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anthony F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In any new relationship, both sexes seem to make the mistake of boasting about what they have and how big their bank accounts are, which is a very big mistake. You should never tell anyone what your assets are etc. Even if you own your home and car and business, tell anyone that asks that you rent the house, hire the car and you manage the business for someone else. That way when you get into a serious relationship you know it is you that they want, not what you have. Then when you get married and are comfortable enough to do so, tell them. Of course if you don't want to tell them ever because of your insecurities, that's your choice.
2007-05-07 23:59:48 · answer #2 · answered by Alwyn C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Roses to you for being a great husband and father. It is natural to have these feelings because you have experienced something you don't want to go through again. Just remember all women are not like her. You seem to be a good person, and I believe that whatever you put out you get in return (both good and bad). You seem to be positive and a very good father. There is a woman out there that is not going to take advantage of you. Keep being the kind of guy that you are. Don't be anyone's doormat. Don't allow someone to be totally independent on you, hopefully the next person you meet will be willing to share equally in what is the good of the family, people take kindness for weakness. Again, applause to you!
2007-05-07 23:46:34 · answer #3 · answered by Lil_MissVal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are a very materialistic person and very controlling, deciding how much she needed and if she wanted any more then she was just trying to take advantage of you. She evidently still loves you and wants to try to work things out. I guess you figure having the "kids" three day a week and paying maintenance makes you an ideal father. Why don't you try patching up what you have and being a father to the children you have before you worry about finding someone else to have more "kids" and then get rid of?
2007-05-07 23:47:13 · answer #4 · answered by don n 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry - I don't understand. Didn't you love her?
Didn't your children need a stable life? Your entire post is about you, you, you and how you felt used.
What is your major complaint - that she wasn't earning a living? With two children under four? and you think she should pay for her own phones, clothes etc etc.
If you don't want to pay for things, all you have to do is say "no". It's that simple. And for that you broke up your family home, broke up your children's home?
I'm sorry - I think you're a selfish moron.
I had to add: what did you think being a husband and father meant? A business partnership? Didn't you want a home where your wife brought up your children? Please don't marry again, unless you make it perfectly clear to your new wife that you want a business arrangement, where on top of the housework and parental care, she must work, while she has to pay someone to take care of the children etc.
2007-05-07 23:49:55 · answer #5 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, it's obvious, she learned from her mistake! Now your being selfish. You have to give it another try, because of those children and because you could definitely work the marriage out. If she is admitting that she was wrong in the subject that ruined your marriage, then the problem could be solved. You should be happy. What are you waiting for? Get back there today. You could have the best life.
2007-05-08 00:00:49 · answer #6 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sure was greedy. Did you ever think to tell her no and really put your foot down?? She may have wanted more but you should've just said "NO".
I personally think she is begging to come back because she misses your money not you, so move on. Take your time and don't try to rush into a new relationship or you will end up with another greedy woman.
2007-05-08 00:04:41 · answer #7 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your real question whether you should learn to trust your ex again & give your relationship another shot.??? Then i would say - yes give it a go once more as she may have learned a valuable lesson. But only if you truly love her & feel it would benefit all involved if things worked out. If you really don't want to be with her again then give yourself more time before you enter another relationship. You will know 100% if somebody is trustworthy, because you will just know......... no doubts about it.
2007-05-07 23:46:13 · answer #8 · answered by Mishell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your time. Do not be in a rush. Not all women act the same. Maybe you will find the right one. There is no magic mirror to look through and see the future. Just try to be sure that she is patient, kind, giving, loving , and trustworthy. Also, make sure that you share similar goals in life. Most importantly make sure that you truly love her.
2007-05-07 23:46:11 · answer #9 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yours is a reverse story than most others, so
accept and believe it`s God wish,
you rather none can make sure for anything, hence
skip this thought, if it is going to happen again, then
it will sure to happen and if it is not going to happen, then
it can never happen, that`s so simple,
so live as such, be honest to your self, make a routine of
daily pray to God and wish and remember your ex and the childrens,
take a few days off, be with you all alone, do nothing,
then you will come to know about your-self in FULL and
there will be a change in your life and things will turn back,
as such and for that you need not to make any effort,
believe you me, this is the only way out,
for a happy, self peaceful life,
go ahead and do it,
2007-05-07 23:57:59 · answer #10 · answered by Karsan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she is sorry about losing everything you gave her, not losing you. About this not happening again, try finding a woman that is an equal to you as far as drive to succeed. You need someone that wants to be a partner, not someone that wants to sit back and be taken care of.
2007-05-07 23:48:23 · answer #11 · answered by jingles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋