I am 45 yr this is my second marriage.I got married 7 yr back.I am highly qualified well placed professional.My wife is 43 yr, qualified , house wife also divorcee. We do not have kids.From the third day of our marriage my wife has been been very harsh to me,she has beaten me number of times with in the walls of our home, in the public places and in the running car. She has abused me in all possible filthy words. She has leveled all possible allegations against me.We live alone and no interference from any family members but she feels that I am influenced by my elder sister.I spoke to my wife's mother twice but no change in her behavior. I told my wife's brother and sister regarding this ill treatment but no help. But they are not aware that she has been beaten me number of times.My wife repeatedly tells me that if i share this problem with any body in that case she will commit suicide . I can say that her corrector is worse than the corrector of Rani Mukherjee in Black.Pl help .
2007-05-07 21:36:45 · 20 answers · asked by kumar s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Record her, record the abuse, contact mental ward and file for divorce.
2007-05-07 21:40:07 · answer #1 · answered by The::Mega 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have tried for 7 years to 'please' this woman. Whatever her issues are they are hers and she has no right to abuse or mistreat you.
If you do not want to leave her because of her suicide threats you do need to document what happens, is said, time it occurred.If you have marks on you from her beatings you must see a doctor and have them photographed.
Whatever you do, do NOT hit her back as you will never be believed that she was abusing you.
Relationships of this type are usually made up of a whole series of intricate interactions that have been built up over the years. It is a case of having to disentangle these behaviours through counselling, this only works if your wife is willing to accept her behaviour is not 'normal'.
With regards to her family this may very well be how they were raised as domestic violence and abuse can be a social learnt behaviour.
Whatever your decision you must look after and protect you. Can you start having 'business' trips away overnight? This places distance between you and allows you to regain your psychological sense of self and being safe. Wives abusing husbands carries a stigma because the man should be able to 'control her'. This is not a relationship of equal power base balance as her threats of suicide places you in a position of guilt and stops you from doing what you feel you need to do.
I applaud your patience however, it is time to stop being her 'punching bag' and make a calm and peacefull life for yourself.
I may be way off base here however, I believe that it is quite possible she has experienced an extreme abusive period in her childhood albeit sexual or physical and she is experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Unless she recognises she is not behaving in a rational normal manner you are in a no win situation.
Good luck and I hope you make the best decision for you.
Life is far too short to let another person make it unhappy.
2007-05-07 22:19:37 · answer #2 · answered by sag_kat2chat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time she hits you, call the police.
In the meantime, tell her that if she does not get some anger-management help, you will have to leave. You are being abused, both verbally and physically! Don't take it. Stand up for yourself. No one deserves to live like that!!! Don't let those suicide threats scare you. That is just her way of controlling you.
2007-05-07 21:51:26 · answer #3 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave her.
Be very careful. If you ever retaliate, the police and the authorities will look at you as a wife beater.
Try to get something recorded, maybe by using a web cam or camcorder.
2007-05-07 21:47:01 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'd tell everybody about it. then i'll wait if she'll really commit suicide.
i'm actually surprised that you managed to last 7 yrs with her. next time she goes on a rampage, record everything, get a medical check-up then file for divore. use every evidence you have. so she couldn't go after a single penny from you.
2007-05-07 21:50:53 · answer #5 · answered by Coolitz 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How long are you going to put up with this before you finally break. Get rid of this witch, now. If she wants to commit suicide let her, remind her that people that commit suicide go to hell so, she will be punished there.
I would have left right away, not seven years and, to hell with her relatives, get out.
2007-05-07 22:47:37 · answer #6 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
remember that what she says to belittle you is not true. you are successful an i'm sure kind and loving. you should not have to suffer like that. you say you have no support and no one to turn to so you are in a bad situation. you may think there is a way to save the relationship or that you shouldn't leave as the man, but her abuse is wrong. just as everyone would tell a woman to leave an abusive relationship, you too should leave. as much as you probably love her, something is wrong with her. she has anger problems. please just leave
2007-05-07 21:50:19 · answer #7 · answered by Rowill 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Next time she abuses you, call for police intervention and press charges. You will need a restraining order against her, then hire a lawyer and get out. You sound like a very nice man. Better luck next time you fall in love.
2007-05-07 21:45:48 · answer #8 · answered by treasuredwife69 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
File a police report against her. Then get a divorce lawyer. Why live in hell?
2007-05-07 22:30:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one deserves this abuse. Thank God you don't have children, find a new place to live and file for divorce (in that order).
2007-05-07 21:48:38 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋