now that you have moved on would you rather want your ex to stay as far as possible ie nowhere near ?

Question

or does it not matter as their existence no longer makes a difference?

Answer 1

Well, if you have a problem with your ex being somewhere near you, you can't truly have moved on, right?

But if you have indeed moved on, it really shouldn't matter unless you feel like you need to escape from your old life with that person. Which isn't too good either, because that mostly means that you have a problem with the person in question, which probably isn't best solved by escaping from him or her.

But as I said, if you've really moved on, it shouldn't matter a bit.

Answer 2

There are a lot of good answers here tonight, but I have to say that it seems many here have not loved and lost after a long period of time because of how easy everyone seems to think it is to "move on" where our emotions are concerned.
I do not like my ex..I don't like who he has become since he left our home. Even though I don't like him, don't want to be around him and want nothing to do with him, he is the father of my children. I loved this man enough to marry him, spend 16 years with him, bear his children and admire him for who he was. Feelings like that just don't go away...sometimes they never do no matter what. As far as being around him....it hurts, still, even though I have moved on. I realize that probably makes no sense, but where the heart is concerned, nothing is black and white.
For you, do whatever is comfortable for you. If it hurts to be around your ex, then don't if at all possible. If you feel anger, then work on the issues within yourself first and you won't feel so much anger. If you are scared when you see the ex, figure out why you feel that way. Your ex has nothing to do with how you feel, but their mere presence can evoke feelings that maybe you don't want to deal with.
If you loved them, truly loved them, then their existence will always make a difference one way or another.
Good luck to you.

Answer 3

It depends on the breakup. A messy breakup with hurt feelings and name calling would mean that you would want the ex to be as far away as possible. Running into an ex after a nasty breakup is awkward and uncomfortable. If it was a relativly painless breakup, then it's fine to be near the ex, and you might even grow to be freinds again after a time.

Answer 4

I prefer not to see my "Charming Ex Wife - The Dragon Lady", and have done so for the last 10 years, despite the fact that she lives within 2 miles of my residence.

~

Answer 5

If you have kids, closer. Kids should not pay for adults decisions. If not, it does not matter, but it will be easier far. Reduce the possibilities of bump into each other.

Answer 6

My initial preference was that he stay on one side of the country and I'd stay on the other.

Now, I could care less. Since my child is now an adult, I don't have to interact with him, and haven't for many years.

Answer 7

I don't think it would matter because in time things will be smoothed out for both of you. You might even be able to maintain a civil relationship.

Answer 8

I prefer to be close enuff to talk, take tea, even do an event, but far euff away to avoid having the other person start dictating how things should be. distance has it's charms.

Answer 9

It depends on HOW it ended - if things didn't work out, then you can still remain friends (and still stay in the same social circles, etc.)

But if it ended badly, than distance is a must...

Answer 10

their existence makes a difference no matter what you think.

of course stay as far as possible!