How can I be at peace?

Question

I think I finally accept that this person who I thought was my friend really doesn't care about me as much as I hoped. When I see her, she seems happy to talk to me, but she never emails me anymore and rarely asks about my life. I cried on my boyfriend tonight but I'm still feeling so hurt. I thought this woman and I really connected; I thought she really liked and understood me...at first she pursued me and it seemed we hadmuch in common... but my boyfriend has me finally convinced that I'm wrong...that she most likely doesn't really care..and I guess he's right since it seems I'm doing most of the initiating. I wish she would be straight with me and give me closure either way. She said she wanted to be friends, but she won't talk to me openly. I have to face her tomorrow and until the end of the quarter. I don't want to feel pain and hatred towards her; but we're partners for nearly all our projects (our choice) and it hurts being around her. What can I do? Can you relate?

Answer 1

Tough situation, being partners with someone about whom you feel ambivalent. Look inside yourself and see if your issue is really with yourself; you had expectations and she didn't meet them. It's not a question of whether your expectations were reasonable or not, it's only that you had them and she didn't meet them. So, if you want to talk it over with her, tell her that. Tell her you had expectations, which you acknowledge were your own issues, and when she didn't meet your expectations instead of acknowledging your own issues you put the blame on her. She is what she is. You are what you are. Accept that she is the way she is. She obviously has some good qualities or you wouldn't have been interested in establishing a relationship with her in the first place. Honor your original evaluation...that she is a good person, and forgive yourself for judging yourself as wrong for liking her. She is still likeable.

Answer 2

Some people have a different understanding of friendship. Just treat her as a business collegue. Probably that's all she wants. Don't think about her too much, you will have your other friends. I been in that situation and it hurt a lot. I cried and got over it. You've shed your tears so shed your pain . It's not worth crying over people who would never appreciate the value of that tear.

Answer 3

I think that u should just ignore cause all trying to start something and probably trying end the friends relationship. I also had the same problem .I talk to my friend but it like she listen for one minute then she walks aways the next. I think should find someone who does listen and that want to be real friend not someone who is going to be nice to one day and then mean the next.

Answer 4

Find joy in your own existence... do not place the responsiblity of your joy and peace on another human being. It isn't fair to them and it certainly isn't fair to you! Live YOUR life with integrity, honor, dignity, and honesty... and you will find many friends that respect you for what you stand for.... stop trying to put the burden of love and friendship on others... instead, YOU be the type of person you would want your friends to be. It is only when you search your own soul that you find peace and satisfaction with life...

Answer 5

wel..to tell u the truth..my best fren n i...we don email each other...nor sms...n i'm studying far away from home...it doesnt reli matter if ur fren don email u...mayb she's busy....take it cool k? i do tink ur fren is a good fren tou she doesnt email u...i mean both of u alwis work together in proj, both of u meet up pretty often. mayb she doesnt tink tat email is necessary as both of u can jus meet up and chat. I usually don ask bout ppl's life also unless my fren look upset and i wana wat happen...

Answer 6

SHE WANTS U 2 B AVAILABLE 2 HER WHEN & IF SHE NEEDS U & IF NOT SHE UR THE LEAST ON HER MIND!!!!!!!! SHE IS A USER NEVER HONEST, NEVER TRUSTWORTHY IT IS ALL ABOUT HER SORRY BUT U HAVEN'T HEARD THE LAST FROM HER WHEN IT IS CONVENIENT OR SHE NEEDS U SHE'LL CALL