I'm facing a dilema right now. The question -> Should I ask my girlfriend to become my wife even if right now I'm not finacially stable and I can't afford a nice engagement ring at the momet? We love eachother very much and we know that we're meant to be. There is only the object of money that has put this situation in a bind. What should I do?
2007-05-07 17:55:53 · 13 answers · asked by Guy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If your dilema is short term due to financial hardships, then it would be in both of your best interests to wait for the right time.
If you feel that your situation is long standing and will not be resolved within a respectable amount of time, and you still want to marry, you are going to have to be straight forward about your finances as well as debts. This will allow your intended to make the decision and decide whether or not she wants to be a part of it.
Some women do not want to start off wedded life in the negative, and will even leave a marriage when they realize they are drowning financially. Others have more stamina and are willing to do all they can just to be with the man they love.
A nice engagement ring can be a class ring, or a family heirloom (something your grandmother had when she was engaged). Timing is also another thing, if you think she's waited long enough and ready to move forward, or that she's ready to move on (leave), then ask, rather than wait.
2007-05-07 19:16:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Asking her to marry you and being financially stable are 2 different things. First, she odviously knows what you do for a living. And apparently is is all good with her. Thats great! The ring? She will love it no matter the size. You can get another later, but she would always treasure that one. Love is blind to bank accounts. But, be sure , because you can't live on love. The bills will still come in on time. Their going out is always the problem and the # 1 down fall of most marriages. Do your homework and heart work, then act accordingly. Good Luck.
2007-05-08 01:05:02 · answer #2 · answered by OldSchool 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her to marry you, Give her something as a ring or the best ring you can afford. In the end the ring is only the symbol, and she will appreciate it if you take the time to make the gesture.
Besides - in this world there are only a few things that matter and love is one of them, even though you are not right now financially stable - this is a temporary problem, seize your moment bro.
Good luck and I hope this helps.
2007-05-08 01:01:28 · answer #3 · answered by Teclis98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is up to her. Ask her if she would be OK with a smaller ring or if she would like to wait until you get money for a bigger one. I would say just get a small ring and try to get a bigger ring later. But keep an eye on your financial situation. You need to make more money in order to be a good husband or else you may both become poor or start arguing about your financial situation all the time.
2007-05-08 01:10:18 · answer #4 · answered by oh really 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You understand marriage is NOT about love ONLY...
Marriage comes with responsibilities, which means financially being able to afford things ( basic ) for a marriage life..
If you are not financially well off.. you should wait, unless your gf is willing to pool in and share her financial wealth with you and perhaps that could make the marriage thing materialise as well...
However you need to ask yourself WHY are you asking her to become your wife now? Is that some insecurity that you are feeling? If that is the case, then you are getting married for the WRONG reasons..
take care.
2007-05-08 01:02:57 · answer #5 · answered by trymejames 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me ask you this...
If some guy who could not afford to take on responsibility of a husband, provide a home, and stable environment asked your daughter to marry him, what would your advice be?
A man takes care of things. I understand that in this society it is often necessary for the wife assist financially, but a man, a MAN should have the basics taken care of.
Get a second job and save your pennies so that when you do ask her, she, and her father, will know that she is marrying a man.
2007-05-08 01:19:18 · answer #6 · answered by David P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does not take a lot to buy a nice ring, you can save a bundle looking at pawn shops.
When you ask a young lady to marry you, the ring is basically your insurance. You can go with a stone you can afford now, then upgrade later on.
2007-05-08 04:34:52 · answer #7 · answered by treasuredwife69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take my word for it, MONEY causes LOTS of problems...... it is the #1 reason for divorce..... I would sit down and talk all this out with her...... You can pop the question and give her a simple ring right now, such as a pearl instead of diamond.... my sis-n-law got one and she LOVES it more than any ole diamond !!!!!!!!! plane out a budget..... each of you agree to put up a certain amount of money each pay day, for an agreed amount of time...... make a plane !!! stick to it no matter what...........agree to marry when an agreed upon amount is reached in the savings account !!!!!! congrats and God bless
2007-05-08 01:02:15 · answer #8 · answered by Annie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why not just because you ask her now doesnt mean that you have to go out the next day and get married...get her a nice little ring they have nice ones at walmart its not about the size of the ring its the thought that counts
2007-05-08 01:00:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes......If your very much in love.We are never promised tomorrow.Everyday is a gift given to you and what is more amazing is that you have found someone to share it with.There are so many people that spend a lifetime never even experiencing what love is.Be happy and move forward!
2007-05-08 01:13:57 · answer #10 · answered by tmend1960 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋