Husband looking to hook up on the net.?

Question

I accidently found out my husband is on match.com and adult singles.com seeking sex with singles, couples, and anyone.I checke his profile and he has been actively seeking sex for a long time. He writes that he is married and has no intention of leaving. I have intentions of him leaving, believe me. Gross. I have a part-time job and cannot support our mortgage/bills at his time but have applied and interviewed for several "real" jobs with good futures. In the meantime I am so freaking mad that I don't know if I can keep my mouth shut. I want to boot him like yesterday. What would YOU do?

He has hooked up with several people, including couples. It is not "virtual sex". He is hooking up with people on a regular basis and has been for some time.

He works out of town and has been having sex all over NY.

He works out of town and has been having sex all over NY.

Answer 1

He will deny it until death.... He will say you are exaggerating, that he's just having fun...

So you have to step forward with prove... Install a key logger software or a similar application that records everything you do on your pc (logs key,, passwords, takes pic of your desktop so you can see what he looks at),. These application are invisible and can be accessed remotely and even email you results to you in box.

Then give some time to come up with something consistent and confront him...

You can also build up a fake profile on one of these site like match.com and post a beautiful pic. Look up his profile and establish contact, tell him through this mean that you want hot sex and see what he responds...

Answer 2

Wow...that must have blown your mind!! It sounds as though you are planning to leave him and I think he should be made aware of this and why. I would let him know what you found out and discuss it with him. He may be a sex addict and needs to get himself some help. I totally understand your not wanting to stay with him and am by no means making excuses for him. Quite honestly I know a few people in your shoes and two of them stayed married and sought help. The other one played mind games by setting up fake meetings with her spouse for a while until she finally did and then divorced him. If you are for sure leaving, then get your ducks in a row, talk to an attorney and do what you need to do before telling your husband. Any job is a real job even if it's part time work. I, myself, would not be able to keep my mouth shut about your situation and would most likely let him know his time is up with a suggestion that he get himself some serious help! This isn't something time fixes quickly and counselling a sex addict is years worth of work!
You will find the work you need to pay your bills. Keep on looking! Good luck to you.

Answer 3

First- call a womens center in your area to make a plan to leave him, and follow their instructions.
Second-talk to an attorney about divorce...he is commmitting adultery in the virtual world and maybe the real world also(print out his profile to show the attorney so that a 'paper trail' is created to show his conduct.)
Third-go to counseling so that you can be a stronger woman and live life for yourself.

He is the loser in this 'affair' and needs to know that you are better than this and deserve the best. What ever you do...DO NOT let him know that you are leaving and or planning to because the first 96 hours of leaving are the most tricky.

Children- get an exparte order and ask if the state has laws that make adultery a crime and use that information. Knowledge is power and it has to be used to protect yourself and those you hold dear.

Answer 4

I think you should go talk to an attorney as soon as possible. Don't say anything to your husband yet. See what the attorney says. They are professionals and deal with this sort of thing on a daily basis. Also keep in mind that most attorneys will provide an initial consultation at no charge. This will give you a clear picture on your options and what you should do next. Good luck.

Answer 5

You definitely need to confront this issue. I am sorry but a husband has no business surfing these singles areas for sex. This obviously bothers you, find out why he is doing this, does he feel you are not giving him enough romance? Then maybe there is something more you both can work on. If you are giving him the love and intimacy he needs and he is still doing this, then it is up to you to give a choice. Either stop doing this or get out, period, you do not deserve treatment like this. Do not put up with it. Good luck to you!

Answer 6

1. I would get a test to make sure he didn't bring any diseases home (seriously!).

2. I'd go to a lawyer to see what my options are. Most likely he'd have to give you alimony.

3. I'd print out a copy of his profile. Never know when it would come in handy.

4. I'd nicely but firmly explain to him that I'm not into that kind of stuff, so it just is NOT going to work out. And I'd explain I want alimony and the house. Otherwise I'd have to resort to #2 and #3 above.

5. Never go back, no matter how pathetic of an excuse he gives.

Answer 7

That is wrong of him, he is cheating. How can do that if he loves you?? Even know he says he will not leave you, he is cheating. Boot him out!! I lost everything due to the same sitiuation and I am back on my feet a year later. It took alot of hard work but I done it with help from my friends and family. All this internet stuff is crazy!!! Not unless you confront him and he is willing to change and can prove it. I don't really like divorce, but I don't think someone should cheat on some one else no matter. If you are going to cheat leave before you do it.

Answer 8

No, No, No , No sweets..you no have the upper hand its time to have fun..remember he started it..so , now that you know he has intentions of seeking sex with outhers, now is the time to say the magic words like "I don't feel good" and We should use protection ( for your safty) he don't care about his.. and NOW is the time to stop working tell him your going back to school college if need be let him pay for it..and the bills so that when your done, you can say "Good bye" oh yeah make sure you make copies of what you have found via internet..really now..who started it first? and yes you must be very hush hush about it..and hide the copies..it is your future now not his or yours unless you want to seek a counsler good luck I would do just what I said to do...in my case thats forsure

Answer 9

Don't say nasty until you try it. It is only sex. Maybe you should see what you might be missing. It might help your relation ship. I am a female and have been married for 20 years. My hubby talked to me about swingers. I thought that he lost his mind. If you are secure in your relationship than you wouldn't have a problem. It is only sex babe. He couldn't tell you because of the way you are acting. You would blow your top if he would have told you face to face. Something is missing in your relation ship for him to seek it else where. Take a look and see where the problem lies. Maybe bring it up to him about doing something like that and see what he says. It might suprise you. He may tell you thinking that you want freak out on him. Good Luck !!

Answer 10

I would definitely be looking for a way out. Start by getting a job that you need to cover bills, etc. Then, why not anonymously add your own profile to the singles site that he visits and approach him online about meeting up with you. Oh, to see the look on his face when he "meets up" with his wife.