i am an attractive married woman. my husband makes me feel confident enough about that at home, but when we are around other of his peers (either women he grew up knowing in this town or guys) he acts all weird like trying to ,,, i don't know but it doesn't make me feel good. I didn't grow up here in this town with him it is very clique like. Is this just a guy thing? He for instance makes me feel like he will go to the rescue of some other female and expect me to find my own chair. does that make sense. what do you think.
2007-05-07 14:57:01 · 13 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
2 possibilities. One he is very secure with you, and knows he don't need to show it every second, or two, He doesn't really know how to act around his friends with you. Probably a combination. He is uesed to being one way with his friends, and is trying to keep that image up.
2007-05-07 15:07:02 · answer #1 · answered by Craig 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He has history in this town and when you married him, you married all of him, including his history. If it is a not-so-large city you live in he will feel secure with you but will also want to make sure he builds and maintains relationships outside of the marriage. For some men, this makes them feel important and useful, to others. He might have a bit of insecurity within him and unfortunately if you attack him for trying to be "nice" other others, this will only feed that insecurity. My advice would be to note what he just did, tell him you saw how he helped that woman find a seat, and ask him, maybe even with a bit of humor, not attacking him, if he would do the same for you next time around as well. He will.
2007-05-07 22:02:27 · answer #2 · answered by John B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well.... it make sense... as I think these are the people that he grows up with and most probably very comfortable with as well... You should not feel alienated by his actions.. what you can do is to support in what he is doing.. For e.g if you think he needs to get a chair for another lady.. instead of letting him get it.. why don't you offer to get it?.. I am sure he will be pleased and his friends will also be pleased...and I believe that you will fit in the clique in no time...
take care..
2007-05-07 22:08:09 · answer #3 · answered by trymejames 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, you need to be able to articulate how you feel when your husband does . . . This will be very important to you, because you will need to share this with him. Be prepared with examples of his behavior and ask him why he does/does not do these things and under these circumstances. Explain to him that you want to have a healty, respectful and loving relationship and want him to be comfortable all of the time. In addition, it is your goal to feel the same way, which is the reason why you are bringing this to his attention. Good luck!
2007-05-07 22:04:54 · answer #4 · answered by Dotch 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh girl, it isn't because you didn't grow up in his town...
You are just the old news now, and any other chick is more interesting than the old one.
Of course, when you are at home, you are the most interesting thing around... but do you want to rely on isolation in order to hold his attention?
2007-05-07 22:03:30 · answer #5 · answered by Heather L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, being a guy I'll tell you this...
TELL HIM WHAT YOU THINK AND FEEL!!!
Ya, its that easy.... He loves you, right? You feel loved at home?
Maybe when he is doing it might not be the best time, but pull him aside latter and let him know....
And if he doesn't give you the answer you are looking for, ask him to think about it more and set a time to re discuss it...
Hope this helps.... I love my wife and she never told me I was being like that to her and it ate her up and she's been gone since November, And I miss her every day... It's not fair to you. It's not fair to him... And you don't want to feel like my wife feels like now!!!
God Bless Bryan
2007-05-07 22:21:24 · answer #6 · answered by BryTheFishGuy.com 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did not explain exactly what he is doing. Please be more clear.
Ok well if everyone else seemd to understand you then maybe I'm just dumb.
If your hubbies behavior does not make you feel good then you need to COMMUNICATE this to him minus the bitchy nagging attacks and just tell him matter of factly if you can.
I am not insinuating anything...just trying to help. With men...the listening stops as soon as we hear that nagging tone of voice.
2007-05-07 22:03:17 · answer #7 · answered by Papa Mac DaddyJoe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your avatar is really cute!
Oh.
Um, sorry about your ****** up insecure husband who is ashamed to be married to you for some reason but it comes across as "I know my wife is strong and independent so I'll go rescue some other damsel since I am so certain my *wife* doesn't need my help. That b*tch! I wish she needed me more!" He sounds like a real piece of work.
2007-05-07 22:09:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would not act funny in your presence is he polite. He should take care of his family first unless the person has some sort of handicap.Is he trying to impress his friends or does he think you don't measure up to him and his friends? if he loves you he should look out for your needs-first, I would ask him why he had to treat you this way in front of your friends.Tell him that it bothers you and see what he has to say and watch to see if he pulls that one again.Good luck
2007-05-07 22:20:39 · answer #9 · answered by tim s 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe that " he already knows what you thinks of him. he is comfortable around you to the point that he knows that he needs not to impress you. Maybe he felt like most people dint like him when he used to live there and he is trying to impress others. feel comfort in knowing that he is comfortable enough with you to know that he does not need or fell the need to impress you."
2007-05-07 22:16:48 · answer #10 · answered by johnathan b 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋