My hubby had an affair over a year ago. He was away from home working after Katrina for 9 months. While he was away a woman pursued him and by her own admission knew he was married and still pursued him even after he said he was happily married. After some time he was out with some friends and had too much to drink and we were not getting along ( stress I suppose) and she went up to him at the bar and grabbed his shirt and told him he was coming home with her, she admitted that she had to "persaude" him. Well he told me everything and we have been to counseling etc. The thing is she claimed to have had an abortion for him and then claimed to be pregnant again but lost it. He swears she is delusional (she tried EVERYTHING) to break us up. She still says she was not lying and she has always claimed she had proof, I have asked her to send it always says she will but never does. Should I keep calling her bluff or jsut let it go? If she had something...why won't she send it?
2007-05-07 13:44:39 · 34 answers · asked by Nothing but the truth...!! 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just in case you ask I am still with him because I love him and have chosen to forgive him. Been together 13 years and yeah, he made a big mistake....but we all make mistakes.
2007-05-07 13:45:42 · update #1
To all of you that say I put all the blame on her...you are wrong...he is paying the price. We have been in counseling and IT HAS been over a year. I want to forgive this other woman as well, but she has made it hard with all the accusations she has made. No I do not blame just her...Hell. He cheated...she didn't....but I have found it in my heart to forgive.
2007-05-07 14:00:54 · update #2
You're an incredible woman to be able to forgive him. Drop all knowledge of this other woman even existing, both of you need to have nothing to do with her at all. So what if she DID have an abortion and a miscarriage?! She's just using that because she's jealous that he went back to you! There's not a baby around now is there? Well then, she has nothing to hold over either of your heads! Far as that goes, girl you need to think of it as "Well she hasn't proved it, so it didn't happen!"
While your notion of wanting to forgive her is very noble, don't worry about that. She'll just eat that up for all it's worth, and she will royally take advantage of your compassion as an opportunity to try to worm her way right back into the middle of things. Forget her, forget it, move on. Change your phone number and move as soon as possible.
2007-05-07 19:26:04 · answer #1 · answered by crimsonskies12474 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im not good with people that cheat. it's wrong no matter how u view it. Ask her to send the proof 1 last time. if she doesnt then move on, i mean what else can u do? But when u ask her, let her know that this is the last time, and tell her someday u hope to see the proof regardless if u stay with him or not. Tell her, "its a woman thing-its something your soul needs to know." be brief and end the call. Be polite but straightfoward. i know u love him but love shouldnt hurt that much mistake or not. I believe cheating isnt a "mistake." It is deliberate, no excuses or good reasons ever exist for this.
2007-05-07 13:58:30 · answer #2 · answered by mistista07 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may be lying about the so called abortion but I think you're missing the point. Since you decided to forgive your husband, the possibility that she could be lying (or not) shouldn't matter anymore. I don't know what you're trying to accomplish by wanting to know this. I mean, what difference does it make now that you've decided to work on your marriage? The fact is he cheated and you forgave him. That should be the end of it. Entertaining this woman any further is only going to be a hindrance to your goal.
2007-05-07 14:12:43 · answer #3 · answered by Aurora 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, there is no baby so you really dont have to worry about this woman, except you have to change your phone number and/or move and get away from her. If she keeps bothering either of you, have her arrested for stalking. If she had proof that she had an abortion, she should have sent it to you. (I'm curious as to what she wants you to do with that knowledge...send cash?) He did make a huge mistake, but if you want to trust him again, then it is your choice and everyone else should respect that.
2007-05-07 13:58:28 · answer #4 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
" If she had something...why won't she send it?" Because she doesn't have to for one thing. Just because you have CHOSEN to forgive your husband doesn't make the CHOICE that HE made right, and yes he DID make a choice. HE CHOSE to go out and get drunk and he CHOSE to have sex with a woman other than his wife. NOTHING is going to change that, you can forgive him for making that choice but you can't erase the fact that he made it. I suggest you stop blaming her for all of it. Ok so SHE pursued him...HE didn't have to ALLOW her to catch him. Obviously someone is not telling the truth. How do you know it's not your husband?
2007-05-07 14:01:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like a nutcase! If she had proof she would have shown it to you by now....with a SMILE I'm sure! She obviously doesn't have anything to show you. If I were you, I'd let her know that you truly believe she needs some "professional help" and let her know that she CAN'T get you flustered. That will mess with her more than ANYTHING! Then, work on trust issues with you hubby. But you've got to get this psycho woman OUT of your life for good, whatever it takes.
2007-05-07 13:54:29 · answer #6 · answered by guatemama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no reason why you should continue to have contact with this woman. You and your hubby are trying to work things out and good for you. She does not need to be a part of your lives anymore. By talking to her you are giving her the power to interfere in your lives. Stop communicating with her and move on with your husband.
2007-05-07 13:59:54 · answer #7 · answered by brian M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The more you respond to her, the more she will keep on. Tell her you could care less. If she doesn't have a baby fathered by him, she has no claim on you in any way. She doesn't have any proof or she would have seen that you got it, since she is doing all you can to break you up. Just blow her off. Your husband isn't interested in her. You don't need to be either.
2007-05-07 13:55:33 · answer #8 · answered by Alicia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally I think she's doing this to break you too up. But on the other hand I had a boyfriend whom I loved very much and was with him 5 years till he cheated on me. As hard as it was we are no longer together because I WOULD never trust him. And till today I think of him and yes still love him it happened 10 months ago.
Good luck to you
2007-05-07 14:02:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You go girl! What a strong person you are! Best to ignore anything from this person. She could send you some kind of proof? Sure, I just bet she could. She would send some fake proof! That belongs right in the garbage with her!
2007-05-07 13:52:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋