My partner and I have been together almost 7 years. Almost a year ago we split up because she said I didn't care for her. The truth was she had a lot of debt to leave behind, and used myself and my children as the excuse for leaving. However I convinced myself that the relationship was salvageable and proceeded to make any ammends. I have poured everything into the last year to make things right between us to no availe. Maybe I shouldn't expect anything in return, but respect, love, care and attention would be nice. Sex once a year, not nice.
My point being, I caught her chatting and flirting on SLINGO's community. However, the description and running commentary she was giving MACONAT left absolutely nothing to the imagination. Innuendo it wasn't! She'spayed me no attention for 12 months yet gives this guy a "tingle down his spine". On top of that he only lives 45 miles away and she has invited herself there for coffee. Please help. Good advice readily accepted.
2007-05-07 12:51:51 · 26 answers · asked by IAN B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
of course you have the right to be jealous. if it was my husband i would disconnect the Internet and then disconnect myself from him. i think you should call it a day. you will only get more heartache.
2007-05-07 12:57:50 · answer #1 · answered by val f1 nutter 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If you'd like an honest opinion, I don't think that either of you are giving what the other needs. It seems like she wants to have a bit of fun and break free, I think a lot of women get the 7 year itch. It seems like she also needs some more excitement in her life too.
You seem more settled in the relationship and like the one whos holding things together and putting in most effort. If all your hard work isn't getting you anywhere then things need to change.
I'd suggest talking things through with her. Ask her why she feels the need to chat to guys on the internet? What does she get out of your relationship? And LISTEN to her when she speaks, don't interrupt her if she's opening up to you. If you feel you can talk to her then ask her if she's serious about meeting this guy? I'd also dissuade her from meeting up with him, for her own safety, as she doesn't even know who he is. Most of all, you both need to decide what you want out of life, and your relationship, and then move on from there. What will be will be, just be happy :)
2007-05-07 13:12:42 · answer #2 · answered by earthaintdying 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't really need advice about this do you?
She needs to go, you sound like a very nice, understanding man and if she has the nerve to do the "chat" thing and not even be discreet about it, she's pretty much, trash!! ( sorry to say that, I know you care about her, but I call 'em as I see 'em)
And now..... now that she has seen that you didn't completely lose it over the computer talk, she has bumped it up to coffee??? You mentioned that you have children, my advice would be, go enjoy them and get all the unconditional love in the world. She is a HUGE waist of your time and emotion.
2007-05-07 13:02:44 · answer #3 · answered by DeltaQueen 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i hate the internet
working in IT &visiting peoples houses i see this all the time, men & women having internet affairs.
Mostly people look online to get the attention they arnt getting at home. However in your case u have tried to show love but she isnt interested. I dont think there is much more u can do but leave. Maybe its then she will realise what she has lost.
You seem a loving man who will find someone very soon whereas her think she will end up lonely
2007-05-08 01:51:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me put it to you this way..............
ON ONE HAND you have an ex who is clearly obsessed with internet dating, doesn't want to be intimate with you on a regualr basis, and who has tons of baggage. It also sounds like there is a LOT of repair work to be done on both sides in order for things to be anything close to normal.
ON THE OTHER HAND you have the chance to pursue a relationship that is fresh, new, dazzling, exciting, and fun with somebody who appreciates you and who's okay with you having kids (who should be your #1 priority)
Say that out loud and then decide which makes the most sense right now.
2007-05-07 13:07:14 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
oh boy she is playing you for a fool and you my friend are excepting it. you know in your heart that she left because of debt and you don't say but i assume you have paid it off for her? you say my children,are they not hers as well?
45 miles is not very far, and if she goes for her coffee your going to be in trouble. on the other hand you really can't stop her going. i mean if she has it in her head that she wants to lay on greener grass then she'll find another patch sooner or later.
i think you need to look deeper in your heart and think about what matters most to you. she could get you deeper in debt and then bugger off anyway.
good luck
2007-05-07 22:44:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shes already left the relationship if shes flirting with others. Move on, there a nice person out there waiting to meet you.
2007-05-10 00:25:46 · answer #7 · answered by Rus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's ultimation time hun. This is cheating and as such you should not put up with it. If I was you she would be shown the door. Don't put yourself and the children through it, it's not worth it. As long as you are letting her do this the longer she will continue to. Move on hun and get her out of your life.
2007-05-09 08:27:09 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Isis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not think much of yourself if you are seeing this behavior from her and are still considering taking her back. How can you even ask what you should do....DUMP HER! She has No respect for you and I can see why, you give off the impression that you are weak and spineless if you have any self respect left move on and find someone that will appreciate you. Women hate weak men they tend to walk all over them when they are.
2007-05-07 13:05:51 · answer #9 · answered by Gwen B 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
she is using you to live,get out of debt?...she doesn't love or desire you,..you are a comfort zone.a safe place to land when she screws up.
edit) it is not your fault she is like this...some people take and take and it is never enough for them,low self esyeem leads to straying,it has nothing to do with if you take care of her needs...she needs the ego boost ,and romance of a new person,the quest,challenge.and one will never be right for her...notches on the belt and the dumb one who truly loves her to alway's put up with crap...not calling you dumb,it just feels that way when it all comes out..sorry your hurting..some jealousy,pain ,betrayal would be normal..she is mean for turning it around like that
2007-05-07 13:12:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, you may not want to hear this, but you have GOT to ditch this selfish woman for the sake of your children and (what's left of) your self-respect.......
She obviously has no respect, love or affection for you, my friend - get rid of her and try and find someone who'll return your affection
2007-05-07 23:01:40 · answer #11 · answered by Simon L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋