i love my husband but have developed intense feelings for a girl i no she feels the same way but i dont no what to do any advice please should i just stay away from her or go for it i dont wanna be classified as a cheater and what if i get attached.
im sure she already is well i no and i dont wanna hurt her but this is so intense.
and no its not intense because im curiouse because ive probly been with more women then men any advice please.
2007-05-07 12:22:34 · 33 answers · asked by nomorebabieshaha 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
i dont want a 3 some neither does she shes a les she dont like blokes i just wanna be with her now.
2007-05-07 12:33:10 · update #1
ok thanks everyone i do get the picture now and yes my husband knows im bi i was with a women 3yrs b4 i met him and yes i do love him ok more then anything.
these feelings ive been having for this girl have been more then a few days theyve been afew months already ive tried to tell myself no and ive tried to ignore her but i cant so yeah i wasent on here askin what to do i was on here simply askin for advice.
however i will discuss this with my husband because i dont like cheaters hel probly say cool though so ya never no thanks anyways.
2007-05-07 12:40:56 · update #2
sorry not 3ys b4 i met him i was with her for 3yrs just b4 i met him
2007-05-07 12:43:25 · update #3
You are treading on dangerous ground. My advice is to take a really good look at your marriage. If you are having these feelings for another woman, it could mean that there are problems in your marriage - the problem might be simply that you shouldn't be married.
If you determine that, yes you want to be married and be with your husband, then you need to stay away from this woman and be happy.
if you cannot stay away from her you MUST tell your husband because it will eat you up inside and your marriage will be a sham. your husband will be wondering what is going on, why you are distant etc... and i guarentee that you will not be able to stop thinking about her without acting if you decide this is the route you want to take. if not her, it will pop up again in a year or two with another woman
Please take time to think this through away from both her and husband if possible (a weekend at your mom's/sister's anything).
maybe a session or two with a therapist to really figure this out in a safe objective setting?
best of luck
2007-05-07 12:33:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is nothing to be ashamed of, don't let anyone tell you that. You are not the first, nor the last person who has come to their feelings about their sexuality after being married.
You are married to your husband, and it seems as if you do love him and care for his feelings, so please don't cheat on him, and if you already have, stop, until you figure out what you will do. It is not fair to the other woman or your husband.
Perhaps you should consider sitting down with your husband and talking to him about this. If he is half of the man he should be, he will be concerned about you, but I doubt he will want to leave you. I would highly encourage you both to see a marriage psychologist about this: he can help the two of you express your feelings in healthy ways without getting angry or violent.
You need to ask yourself: Is this woman going to stay with me if I leave my husband? Very rarely do they, so you need to be sure of what exactly you want before you make any decisions. I would recommend perhaps seeing a psychologist on your own and talking about these issues.
Best luck to you all.
2007-05-07 12:29:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do it is your choice but if you go for it you will be classified as a cheater because that is what cheating is! It doesn't make it better because its a girl instead of a guy.....if you are doing it behind your husband's back it is the same as if he were cheating on you with another girl behind your back. You said you love your husband and I think you understand the situation better than me but I wouldn't do anything. Marriage is about trust...so be careful in your decision!
wait how did I even get in this section I thought it was in R&S and somehow landed here :P
2007-05-07 12:30:53 · answer #3 · answered by E.T.01 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think your sexual orientation needs to even be mentioned. Just treat it like any affair. Given that, I believe that it is totally wrong to do something like that behind somebody's back, but I also believe that if your feelings are so intense then perhaps it is worth embarking on a new relationship. If you think that your feelings have that sort of durability and are comparable to a real romance, and if you think that the possible benefits of stayig with your husband are less than those with this prospective partner then I think you should go for it. You shouldnt have to settle. Of course, your husband may not see it that way but it's your life.
2007-05-07 12:29:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Short of asking her or accidentally running across her "in action" or confirming such in conversation with someone else or somehow reading her diary, there is no way for you to know. As far as who is the man in the relationship, that is usually easy to tell when you see the two of them interact, but even then that is no sure thing. How one girl dresses compared to the other may be a giveaway, but it is no sure thing. For you, there is no way to tell until you get involved, unless you prefer a more feminine type of lady and/or you prefer to act with some boyish tendencies. And you do not need to be a tomboy to be like that. I have seen this up close and personal. At age 14, I would suggest keeping your bisexuality under wraps until you get out of high school, at least, just to play it safe.
2016-05-17 22:22:43 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your husband know you are bi? If so, that will ease things considerably. Now check this one out: ask him if he wants to join in. I'm serious, that is like a man's ultimate fantasy. You just need to make sure you pay more attention to your husband than your girlfriend or he might get jealous.
2007-05-07 12:28:14 · answer #6 · answered by fringefire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let her go! you may ruin things! plus you may jus be infatuated with her for the moment. Give yourself like three months +without talking or seeing her and test to see if the feelings change it could just be a phase with her if after that you still feel the same passion for her than maybe you should go after her.. But if you have been with more women than maybe you shouldn't be with a man?? does your husband know? does he care? are you willing to drop him for this woman?
2007-05-07 12:29:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow up, take responsibility for your own life and decisions. Don't be whiny and think the voting here on what others tell you means a thing.
Make your pick and be prepared for it to all go wrong whatever it is. If it goes right, then you're lucky.
2007-05-07 12:26:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make a decision.
Are you happier being with your husband? Or are you happier being with a woman. Make up your mind then live with consequences.
Being with someone else, whether a man or a woman is still cheating and not fair to your spouse.
2007-05-07 12:28:27 · answer #9 · answered by ♥♥The Queen Has Spoken♥♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want a lifetime of pain, go for it. Psychological statistics on those who live homosexual lifestyles show how much unhappiness there is to the acting out of these feelings. Perhaps that is why so many active homosexuals have to consistantly refer to themselves as "gay"... to convince themselves they are.
2007-05-07 12:32:19 · answer #10 · answered by lds123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋