I'm pregnant and very confused about keeping git or aborting.?

Question

The father is being a real jerk. I work, live with my parents have a car, but I do not feel like I am ready and do not want to deal with the babies father the rest of my life. I have prayed about it but cannot reach a decision. I feel like I'm not ready for my life to change. But then again I feel like I should just have the child since I put myself in this situation. Adoption is not an option for me.

Adoption is not an option for me because I could never give my baby up after it is grwoing inside of me, if I take it that far then I may as well keep the baby.

I'm scared. I just always pictured having a child with someone I was married to or in a relationship with.

Answer 1

I became pregnant last year and was alone. I went back and forth on wether to keep it or have an abortion. I decided to have an abortion. I decided that I wanted to have a baby when I knew everything would be good for the baby. They could have a mother and father who got along. I wanted to have the baby when I knew I could take care of them and provide them with everything in the world they could need. The father and I didn't get along well and I never wanted the thought to cross my mind that if it weren't for the baby, I would not have to deal with that guy and my life would be better. I thought it was a good decision for me in the end. A hard decision but a good one.

Answer 2

First off, I look at it like this, a baby was placed inside of you for a reason, it didn't just pop up there (there are too many people that try so hard to become pregnant and can't) that is my main source for believing that everything happens for a reason.

Just because you are scared and the father is a jerk doesn't mean that an innocent child should have to suffer or lose its life because of something that is that irrealevant to life itself.

Unless you are a cold-hearted person, (which it doesn't sound like you are by the fact that you have realized that prayer was were you should take this issue first) I dont see how you could even think about abortion as an option.

You are the reason the child is there, it took your actions to become pregnant...Now there is the consequence to deal with..........I see two options......

1. have the baby and give it a life it deserves
2. adoption some family out there that are unable to have children would give that child the life it needs.

If a child is meant to not be born, god will work that out for himself, no human assistance is needed.

You say you are not ready for your life to change, to me thats a selfish statement to say about a human life, i'm sorry but its true.

Just my opinion and i hope you make the right decision. You will have to live with what you decide for the rest of your life. Think about it, how would you feel if your parents had this question about you?

Answer 3

No one can make this choice for you. But..you may want to reconsider adoption. I'm not sure why you feel it isn't an option. Parental pressure? Peer pressure?
When it comes to doing what's right for you and your baby, you two win...not anyone else.
This also gives you a full 9 months to decide whether or not you DO want to keep the baby. If keeping the child is not good for you, someone else has been waiting (sometimes up to ten years!) for the opportunity to raise a child.
Keeping a baby you don't want or can't deal with causes undue stress on you and can affect your feelings toward the child and being a mother in general. Abortion is definitely NOT the best thing for the baby, but can seem like it for the mother.
You'll get lots of heated opinions, I'm sure..based on politics, religion, etc. However, move beyond that. How will YOU feel about it later on down the road? What are YOUR values? Many, MANY women feel guilt and depression for years after abortions. Many more feel guilt and depression on learning they are pregnant again.
In the end, it is what you can live with.
If adoption is not viable because you don't think you "can", bear in mind if you are unable to care for your child or unwilling, it is the best thing for your baby.

Answer 4

From someone who's been there:

I was 23 and about to end my relationship with my boyfriend when I found out I was pregnant. When we discussed it there was no doubt we both wanted to end the pregnancy. Neither of us felt like we were ready to be parents. We went through with the abortion and, trust me, the guilt and feelings of remorse I felt afterwards is something I will ALWAYS live with. Just a year later (we ended up staying together) I got pregnant again. Although we still didn't feel ready, weren't married, and were SCARED beyond belief, we weren't going to make another bad decision. I now have a beautiful 6 month old baby boy and a loving husband and I know that this time around I made the right decision. Go with your gut. Having a child when you're not ready is hard, but living with an abortion is harder. At least it was for me.

Answer 5

My mom raised me just fine without my real father. She was only 18, but they had been together for 4 years when she got pregnant. He left her for another woman before I was even born. Talk about a jerk! My mom was SOOO sick during her pregnancy that the doctors tried to FORCE her to abort me. They said she would surely die, and if I lived, I would be a vegetable. Despite being heartbroken, regected by all her family and friends (being a single, pregnant preachers daughter didnt go over well), and extremely sick, she fought for me. Thats what mothers do. I was born early, and was sick, but my mom and I both survived. If she had listened to those doctors, I wouldnt be here. Now I'm happily married and have a daughter of my own. My mom found another wonderful guy who loves her, and has always loved me as his own. She couldnt be happier. I never met my real father til I was 18 years old. And I'm glad he wasnt in my life, because he's still a loser. My point is, when you have sex, you know it can create a baby. This child shouldnt have to die, just to "fix" your problems. Once your baby is born, you will feel like its the best thing that has ever happened to you. NOBODY is ever "ready" to have a baby, until it actually happens. As your baby grows, so will you. You learn as you go along. I have friends who have had abortions. They all thought they could "deal with it". Now, 2 of them are ruined for life and incapable of ever getting pregnant again. They all still cry about it and feel guilty about it. Why put yourself through that when you can let this little angel live, and experience a beautiful life with you? If you are the praying kind, you should realize that every person on this planet has a purpose. That baby is inside you for a reason. My husband and I were only 19 when I got pregnant. I was on the pill, we used a condom, and it was the last day of my period when she was conceived! Although we werent planning her, she was certainly meant to be! It was hard at first. I was really sick. Couldnt work. Both our cars broke down. Hubby lost his job. Our families hated us. Pregnancy was a nightmare. But she was born, and changed our lives and everyone else's. Now, we have a strong bond with our families, we are very happy, and are currently trying to have our second child. You can do this! Its worth it!

Answer 6

Do not abort it.......I was in the same boat...my babys father and I our not on good terms and I am simply fed up with him. I am almost 5 months pregnant now w/ our baby girl. He tells me all the time how much he loves us & wants to be a family yet, cannot let go of his immature ways. He has not helped me financially or emotionally...nor does he even know when his daughter is due!!

I also work full time, go to school 3 nights a week plus saturdays, I have my own car, bills, yet I also live with my mom. Before I got pregnant I was living MY life the way I wanted to! I was partying w/ my sorority all the time, traveling wherever I wanted, whenever I wanted, had complete freedom...the day I found out I was pregnant was the day my whole world changed & it changed instantly! At first, I was devestated....especially knowing that the babys father wouldn't be around the way he claims he would be. But now....I wouldn't give up being pregnant for anything.

It's hurts from time to time, wishing my babys father was with us, yet, he's a grown man....he knows right from wrong & so do I. If he wants to be around for his daughter & take responsibility he would. I have become such a strong person going through this, although there our times I want to throw in the towel...I keep telling my unborn daughter that I will not let her down. Having a baby is such a blessing....right now it may be a blessing in disguise for you....but you can do it.....you never know how strong you are until you have a little one depending on you.

I hope I helped...please message me if you'd like to talk...God Bless and Congrats!

Answer 7

Your not for adoption but your willing to abort the baby what's that about. I rather adopted the baby then abort it at least someone else can take better care of the baby then me. At least you work and have a car so that's a good thing and i'm sure your parents will give you a hand. Babies do change your life but it's worth it. It's hard but alot people make through it don't think your the only one cause your not. They do have programs that help women if the father unwilling to be there in the picture. There's Medicaid,they have WIC so don't feel like you can't do this i think you can.

Answer 8

When my sister became pregnant in her senior year in high school, she had the incredibly frightening task of telling my parents. My parents have always been supportive of us but my dad had the best explanation about her being pregnant. He said no one is sick, no one is dying or going away...we were going to have a new family member and someone new to love. I think that is so great and exactly how any unexpected pregnancy should be looked at. I am pro-choice and that it will and should always be a woman's choice about what to do with her body. But on the other hand, consider keeping the baby. I just had a baby and trust me it is a HUGE change for you and your lifestyle but with a supportive family, it can be so worth it. You won't believe how beautiful your baby is when you first hold him (or her!). I know you probably heard this a thousand times but in the end only you can make that decision...trust your instincts and keep only supportive, loving people around you. Good luck sweetie.

Answer 9

I agree with purplebinky...go get the free counseling offered by an abortion clinic or family planning center. They are not there to talk you into getting an abortion but to help you make the decision that is right for you. Also, as many have said you are in crazy hormone land and trying to make a decision that is this important should not be made when you are upset and angry with the father. If he is being such a jerk do you really think he is going to want to be a part of you and your child's life? There are a lot of women that have their children and they never see their father! So, don't let your feelings towards him affect your decision! Only you know what is right for you!

Answer 10

I got pregnant at 15 and went through the same thing, only my mom and my brother were dead set on me having an abortion...and that was my mind set until my sister's boyfriend left a brochure on our coffee table that explained how they are done (the medical procedure), and what your body will go through during and after, and I changed my mind. My son's father and I broke up when my son turned one month old...I worked 3 part-time jobs while I went to school, and one full-time job during the summer. I graduated high school with a 2 yr. old. YES it's tough, and sometimes you don't think you're gonna make it, but you will...I promise.
My son is now 14 yrs. old and is gonna be a freshman next school year. I look at him and think he is my greatest challenge and gift in life.
The only thing I can say about the baby's father is...you slept with him, and if you keep the baby he will have some rights as well as responsiblities-my son goes to his dad's every other weekend...we still butt heads however for the most part we try to keep it away from our son, it's not his fault...and it's not your baby's fault either.
Like I said, whatever choice you make, your life is gonna change forever. Don't shut your family out, and yes going to a pregnancy center for guidance might be an option. Good luck, you will make it through this.