Till death do you part they say but is that really how it goes?

Question

my aunt who's now 49 has a 12 yr old with her new husband of 13 yrs. While being pregnant they got into a really big argument over money and he decided to walk out and leave. She was about 2 months pregnant when he left. While being gone he came across many women and slept with them. When he figured he missed my aunt he came back to her when she was 9 months only 1 week to her due date. He gave her this bull that he was miseble without her and hadn't slept with other people. So- time passed & my little cousin who is now 12 was only 5. My uncle had a drinking problem and started having kidney problems so on a random doctor visit he found out he was HIV pisitive. I went to the doctor with my aunt & him to translate what was going on with his kidneys when I had to break the news to him. My aunt was so devastated & angry!! She had problems with him cheating before and because of that she decided not to sleep with him during those 5 1/2 years. She had the choice to leave but didnt

i think she loved him at some point of her life but now that this has happened so got closer to him as a friend. They're not able to have sex unless they use condoms but she doens't put out anyway being scared that someday she can catch it too. For the past 12 years she & my little cousin have been tested & tested many times to make sure they're not HIV positive. My question to all you is- would you be willing to stick around if this was u & your spouse?? either it be the man or woman who's now HIV positive? my aunt is a firm beleiver of "till death do you part...in sickness & heatlth.." that's why she won't leave & says she'll do anything to help him but not sleep with him. Isn't that scary?? if this were my situation i' do the same & not judge him.

Answer 1

Whoa, the definition of marriage can be defined in this situation.

I give your aunt much respect because many women would've left him to suffer alone. But she did the Godly thing and held on to her faith. Praise God!!! Respect for marriage still exist.

Tell her to continue to hold on to her faith and thank God that she nor her son has the virus.

Answer 2

Not judge him? Come, my dear. You really don't feel that way do you? You seem to have a good grip on this whole mess and I thank you for giving us all the details that are required to make a rational and adult decision.
So...would I stay married to this person? Nope. That person...your uncle deceived your aunt. So as far as I'm concerned...his deception exposed your aunt to a disease of which we all know has no cure at this time.
Now why won't she leave him? Your aunt sounds "old fashioned" or raised with such ideals from her mother. There are plenty of women who wouldn't take him bvack after he initially walked out but your aunt probably believed that there was no one else that would come into her life but him. Hence the "death do you part" end of it. Religion and family values (at the time you were taught them) have a big role. You can bet her religious beliefs have a major role in her thought process of this.
Catholic? I'm guessing because divorce is an infamnia in the church.

Hope I've answered your question to your satisfaction.

Answer 3

What is your question? It sounds like your Aunt, however devestated that she is/or was, has made her own decision and decided to stay with her husband. Right or wrong, this is her choice...it's a very sad situation, but really nothing you can do about it.

Now I see the additional details...in my opinion, I think that if I truly loved my husband I would forgive and try to continue with my life with him.

Answer 4

Hello,
In the Bible it says that a married couple are allowed to get a divorce if one of them has has committed fornication ( adultery) which is what he did. Sounds like he reaped what he sewed literally. It is decent of your aunt to stick with him but she has a way out if she wants to leave him. She deserves better, but if she really loves him then stay but she could be putting her daughter in danger...she should put her first...your little cousin doesn't deserve to be put in danger of HIV..
Good Luck to all of you!

Answer 5

My forever only lasted 24 years. I'm ex and I are still alive, but our marriage sure died (fortunately, she didn't bring home HIV).

I don't mean to make light of what has happened to your aunt; I'm very sorry for your pain.

Answer 6

it was her choice. i never understand why some people are able to put up with spouses like that. i think being pregnant makes women want to forgive them for the supposed sake of the children. my mom still stays with her husband long after she should have left him.

Answer 7

its meant to be death till you part but it should be by both people the bible says you have the right to divorce for infidelity your aunt chose to stay she must be a very good person and i'm sorry for what she has had to go through tell her i wish her the very best

Answer 8

It works if you don't marry a scum bag like your aunt did.....

And if my husband were HIV positive, I wouldn't hang around for that one..... and I certainly wouldn't be having ANY sex with him, with or without condoms! Because his having HIV means he cheated on me, and I won't put up with that one.

Answer 9

Sooo, as I read it, your question is, is what you have written scary? Well yeah, I guess it is just one more story of someones life and none of my business. It's none of your business either. It's your aunts choice and you should butt out.

Answer 10

your life is over when u get married,so death comes pretty quick