How come abstinence-only education works for some, but not for others?

Question

OK, when my wife and I got married, we were both virgins. She hadn't even THOUGHT of having sex before we got together, and I had thought of it (and thought, and thought), but never acted upon it.

So how come abstinence-only education works for some, but not for others? My wife and I both come from religious backgrounds, maybe that has something to do with it? Her mother was VERY religious, and I'll be willing to bet that if she had raised 75% of these pregnant teenagers today, they would all still have their virginity.

So why do Liberals:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Av9MbN2wbKa_Dq67bZmG9DTsy6IX?qid=20070507123827AAzoFL7&show=7#profile-info-Fxf5O8Deaa
insist that this method does not work? There is nothing special about my wife and me. I think that it is just a lack of good parenting.

If you brought your child up religiously, and let them know that they are BETTER than that, they are good enough to wait for, I think we could stop teen pregnancy in its tracks.

Answer 1

I'm glad that you had a good upbringing.. good for you.. but as you stated.. her grandmother didn't raise these children.. and practically speaking she couldn't have.. and since we.. the rest of the world... don't get to raise them (them having to stay with their parents and all) we have to do what we can... because for these children.. who don't have that strong background... abstinence will not work. I wish everyone had a perfect background.. but it will never realistically happen.. so we have to have a realistic plan of attack for this problem.

Answer 2

Ok, you are correct in the lack of good parenting. But this is exactly why the abstinence only education doesn't work. You don't think that 50% of the teenage parents taught abstinence? It just doesn't work which is why you have to come up with a different way of dealing with the problem.

This is the difference between Democrats and Republicans. You guys feel that all people are created equal and just because you made the right decision, everyone could. If this was true, Republicans would be correct in their thinking and I would vote Republican. But reality and what should be are 2 completely different things.

My wife and I are VERY different people. We are both from "bad" areas, but we differ greatly on our ethics. I'm not a better person than she is, but I was raised by 2 parents, who both had college degrees, and did not allow me to do very much if anything wrong once I was a teen. My wife was different. Her mother was a young, single mother. She spent EVERY Sunday in church, but yet she got pregnant before she was ever married. My point, it isn't her fault that she wasn't raised as good as I was. Her mother did the best she could, but you can't tell her that.

The true fix isn't abstinence only education, because only those that don't really need the education actually benefit. The ones that need the education will not get it. I have noticed generally speaking that the household income is a direct correlation to parenting effectiveness.

Republicans on social issues feel that everyone can do just as well as everyone else or it is their fault. This just isn't the case. It just doesn't work that way. When you are comparing a kid growing up with 2 educated parents, middle-class, good neighborhood, educated young, and in church, it is no comparison to someone with 1 parent, in and out of jail, never really pushed education, in the ghetto.

Answer 3

Well, yes, there is something special about you and your wife. You had decent, religious parents. Most kids do not. In addition, most kids do not hold the same ideals about sex as you do. Unfortunately for the children that result from teenage sex, not many people think the way you do.

I, for example, waited until I was financially and emotionally capable of caring for a child before having sex. I didn't think I needed to wait until marriage, but I did understand there were consequences and that I didn't want gonorrhea. So, if kids aren't raised to follow the abstinence idea, then they need to understand the consequences and know how to have safe sex. Abstinence only programs, no matter how much you like them, will not reach all students. So, we better start using a program that does. To think all teenagers will abstain is rather naive. You and your wife are exceptions to the rule.

Answer 4

If the only way it will work is with the addition of religion, then I would prefer a different method.

You said it yourself though, it works for some and not others. Is it fair for the others to not receive an education that works for them because they dont follow your beliefs? Would you still think that is ok if you lived in a Hindu or Muslim country?

Blaming the parents is usually fine, but this time it is very misguided. The issue is that the schools teach that the only method is abstinence. They say that it is the only method that is effective as birth control, and the only method that is effective as STD control. It ignores that the other methods are over 99% effective, and that with those and normal precautions they are viable options. I do not want the schools teaching my children stuff that undermines what I am teaching them when it is done for religious reasons, not science.

Answer 5

I'ts because you are religious. You answered your own question. Not everyone is Christian and to tell you the truth, I don't think it's a very good idea for a number of reasons to get married a virgin. But, to each their own.

Oh yeah, and religion doesn't ALWAYS work either. I went to a Catholic school that only taught abstinence and kids were getting it on in the 8th grade. Maybe you are somewhat older than me too. Times have really changed.

Also, don't assume that you are "better" than anyone who choses to have sex. My morals are above par and I do not sleep with just anybody. I have incredibly high standards. Good people have sex too and to tell you the God's honest truth, I'm certain I'm a helluva lot "better" in bed than you OR your wife. It's an absolute certainty. Practice makes perfect.

Answer 6

First of all, if it doesn't work for everyone, it doesn't work.

Second, if you think the point of religion is to stop teen pregnancy, you demean religion.

Third, the point of sex education is to educate about sex. How did you two know what to do and how to be responsible and safe when you did finally have sex? Do you know how babies are made? How did you learn it? That's the kind of thing you need to know, and sex ed is there for that reason. Abstinence-only programs just say "you don't need to understand it, just don't do it." That's not education, that's just a pointless lecture.

Abstinence-only education is proven not to work. In schools where tried it, it failed. Your "education" - religious uprbringing - isn't the same thing as an abstinence-only sex ed program.

P.S. - HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT NOT TO DO? Sex ed teaches you about sex so you won't believe myths like "you can't get pregnant the first time."

Answer 7

It depends on many. I know people who have come from very religious households and still had premarital sex. It depends on the teenager not the education and you can handout condoms in schools but it doesn't mean every teenager is going to have sex. Abstinence methods don't generally work, you are your wife were one of the anomalies.

Answer 8

The problem is the liberals themselves have not been brought up religiously. They seem to take the track that is it feels good it must be the right thing to do.
They never take into account that the rules God gave us were for our own protection. They were meant to save us so much heartache and physical problems like std's.
However, most people these days buy the devil's version that God is only trying to deny you any fun. It's a lie he's used since the days of Adam & Eve.
No, the liberals will never endorse abstinence because they would loose votes and popularity and power and somewhere along the way probably money too. Which is the only thing they care about. Certainly they don't care about the people's actual well being.
no body likes begin the guy that said no. That's why it's so hard for people now a days to be good parents.
But there are still a few of us who try.

Answer 9

OK, Clint. Here's the deal.

This country has freedom OF religion and freedom FROM religion.

Religon by itself is NO guarantee of any kind of morality or sanity. Plenty of people - believers and non-believers - have matured into responsible, loving, honest, contributing Americans.

I'll see your marriage card and raise you a K.

When we got married, we were a couple of kids raised by a pair of good parents. They taught by example, never beating us over the head with scripture or dragging us to church. It's called "walking the walk," buddy.

We had sex before marriage. Who cares? Are you the new "Sex Police?"

We got married, raised a son who matured in to a gifted student, years ahead of his classmates. He was pursued by the Navy's nuclear program, but he declined, in favor of learning a trade, mastering it and starting his own business.

He matured, married, and raised a wonderful son.

Whether or not you choose to have sex before marriage is of no great consequence.

What kind of person you become.....is.

In the meantime, the "absitnence" programs have been exposed as utter failures; the kids in the programs behaved no differently than those in the control groups.

Conservative, fundamentalist people still oppose univeral access to contraception and sex education.

The Netherlands continues to have a teen pregnancy rate 1/9 that of the USA.

Religion is no guarantee of the integrity of a human being.

If it works for you, fine.

There are plenty of good Americans who choose to live and believe otherwise.

Have a nice day.

Answer 10

I really believe that good sex education begins in the home. Kids often wont listen to good sensible advice unless it is something they were raised with. I think the abstenence only education might grab some of the kids but I really fear that telling kids that they're going to do it anyway so here is what you need to do, along with peer pressure might push a few kids who might have waited into having sex sooner rather than later.

Answer 11

I think the way people are raised has a lot to do with it. Religion does too.

Promiscuity is prominent because of the society we live in. Sex sells and is everywhere!

The sexual revolution in America began in the 20's and has progressively become more blatant. It's a sad thing. We focus on instant gratification without thinking about the consequences of tomorrow.

*Sex outside of marriage is a sin. It's called fornication or adultery. (I don't know what Bible that person is reading).