I'm 20, she's 22, I dont think we should have a child until We are in our thirties. She's depressed about it, possibly suicidal, I just want out now, and dont know how to do it. Help me, please.
2007-05-07 08:38:37 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think that you are smart for wanting to wait to have children. Other than her being depressed how is your relationship? Do you think about being with her for the rest of your life? At 20 I would think that you aren't ready for marriage quite yet? But if that is something that you think about, being with her forever, getting married, then maybe you need to have a talk with her. Explain that you don't want to have children until a few years after you are married (to her or someone else). Bringing a child into this world is a huge responsiblity and should only under perfect circumstances only be brought into the world in a committed relationship such as marriage. If you are having doubts about your relationship then the last thing you want to do is agree to have a child. Just talk to her.
2007-05-07 08:50:40 · answer #1 · answered by LadyD1019 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody should ever be depressed or suicidal about not having a child ; especially at 22. She definately has other issues that need attention. I'm not sure if bailing is the best move, but you need to either talk to her or someone close to her about getting her some help. Maybe she feels some void she thinks a child wil fill. Do a lot of her friends have children?
2007-05-07 08:47:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Red flag time! If you care about her, and have any interest in a relationship that may include marriage and children, then couples counseling is your primary goal right now. Neither of you can make any kind of rational decision in all that emotional storm. Doesn't really matter whether you do pastoral or non-religious counseling, but you need a neutral party to help you lift the fog some. This would be a bad time to bail on her, for both of you - guilt for you, and extra emotional overload for her. Whatever you do, though, no baby! That wouldn't solve anything, and is guaranteed to notch up the emotional load several hundred percent.
2007-05-07 08:46:46 · answer #3 · answered by John R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should be crying outta happiness that she doesnt have a child right now. I was a mother of 2 at the age of 20. I REGRET not waiting until I was older. I love my kids, but I really missed out on ALOT. She isnt looking at the big picture. She is probably upset and blowing it outta proportion. Thinking that because you dont want a kid right now, that you dont want one at all. She needs to seek professional help for her depression and suicidal tendencies. It probably would be best for you to walk away. Tell her the truth.
2007-05-07 08:44:52 · answer #4 · answered by kissbutnevertell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, hon...my heart goes out to you. :( I am completely on your side...I don't think that you're ready to have a child at this point in your life, either.
Why does your gf want a child so badly? Has she given you any explanation as to why this is so important to her? If you didn't have a child with her, would the two of you stay together?
Before you get out of this situation (which I think you need to do), try to sit down and explain to her why you don't want to have a child (and/or continue the relationship, if that's the case). It sounds like she could have some serious problems that you won't be able to fix on your own.
If she is possibly suicidal, she needs to get some help...NOW. I truly think that you should consider calling a crisis hotline (like 1-800-394-HOPE) on her behalf to see what their advice is. This is really serious.
You'll be in my thoughts...
2007-05-07 08:48:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs some help!
Maybe try and get her to talk to someone like a counselor or her parents. Having a baby will not help her depression, I think she feels unloved or nothing is going right for her now and she thinks a baby will cure that! Believe me a baby is not the answer for her. If you are unhappy with the relationship I am not sure that there is an easy way to end it!? Sorry it couldnt be easier!! Good Luck!
2007-05-07 08:49:14 · answer #6 · answered by coralyn m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she needs some mental health help before she starts thinking about trying to bring a child into this world. Seriously, if she's suicidal about it, thats not normal. I understand if she's disappointed, but suicidal? thats extreme, the girl is only 20 years old. Talk to her about it
2007-05-07 08:43:47 · answer #7 · answered by c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youre not ready to raise a kid, she is trying to control you through the threat of suicide, get out NOW and tell her parents.The fact you want to bail tells me you arent committed to her.This is why shacking up BEFORE all these issues are cleared is a BAD idea because it makes breaking it off a whole lot harder.If you arent man enough to face her, wait until she is gone pack your stuff make a run for it and leave her a letter.Dont be stupid and get her pregnant and then dump her.
2007-05-07 08:47:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two ways!
1.If you like her.... buy her a puppy. If shes lazy and irresponsible she'll realize how much responsibility it is and cut it out. If she's responsible... it'll be like an appetizer holding her off for the main course down the road.
2.If you don't like her anymore. Sleep with another woman and let her catch you both together in bed. She'll never forgive you and you'll be free of her.
If that doesn't work get a restraining order from your local police department!
2007-05-07 08:47:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if you were both in your 30's if you aren't ready to be a parent, you're not ready. If you want out of this relationship just because of this issue it appears there are probably other problems in the relationship. Maybe you need to talk to her parents and have them get her some counseling. And you need to be upfront with her about what you feel about the relationship. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-05-07 08:44:16 · answer #10 · answered by tersey562 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋