How can i tell my husband i think my mother in law is unstable?

Question

I think my mother in law may have some kind of chemical inbalance or be a little mentally unstable. People that know her tried to warn me of this odd behavior that she may have and i didn't belive it at first but now i can see how she may have something wrong. I think maybe some medication could solve her problems but i don't know how to bring it up to my husband. Should i bring it up or should i just let her be?

Answer 1

hon, maybe if your husband saw the behavior himself. And you could VERY GENTLY suggest to him that she might need a medical checkup. You are concerned for her health. And if she hasn't had a checkup for a while, the doc could catch what is wrong pretty easily. I have a cousin who behaved very strangely. She still is slightly strange, but so much better now. She had a chemical imbalance, and the doc gave her some meds to try and adjust her.
Sit your hubby down, and really gently tell him you and he should make sure his mom is doing ok. And ask if she is having regular checkups. He will bristle at it, yell, all that stuff. But have him see what she is like. And explain that it is possible she should have regular doctor visits, just to maintain her health. Tell him you know how important she is to him, and how worried he would be if she got sick. Appeal to him male mind. You have to be really careful with dealing with this. I wish you all the best dear. I hope things work out well for both you and your husband and your mom in law.
You know, if you make it his idea, it will work better. Ask him what he thinks should be done about his mom's heath issues as the conversation moves along. And if he doesn't know, or says nothing needs to be done, suggest that he might have the idea to help her with health concerns. "How do you think we should try and help mom? We don't want her getting sick. I know how that would make you feel inside, knowing how much you adore your mother." Make it his idea to go to the doctor.

Answer 2

If this is not normal behaviour for her, then yes, you should bring it up to your husband, it could be any number of health problems, and if she is unstable like that, she may not realize she has a problem, it could be Alzheimer's, a chemical imbalance, an aneurism, potential stroke, or it could even be that she is going to different doctors for different problems, and they might not know they have prescribed something with an interaction to something someone else prescribed, so clean out her medicine cabinet, and take her, and her prescriptions to her primary care physician for an eval....

Edit: If you and your husband don't see her very often, and it's others around her that are trying to let you know that they have observed changes in her, your husband may not have had a chance to observe her closely lately, so I would just go ahead and tell him, but then again my mother in law lives 600 miles away, and we would need her friends to let us know they've observed changes in her, we only see her a couple times a year, and might not have a chance to observe things like that. Even when you do live closer, unless you are living in the same household, work, kids, and other responsibilities can distract you from noticing things sometimes, he might not have had a chance to observe her that closely, and might not be aware, where her friends that interact with her on a daily basis might be able to pick up on changes easier. (Honestly, I am a little confused by the people with the idea that you should expect him to get mad at you telling him you're concerned that his mom might have a health problem). Let me put it this way, what if *your* mom's friends told *him* that they have lately observed changes in your mom's behaviour, and they are worried she has a health problem? Put the shoe on the other foot, then approach it the way *you* would like to be approached in the same situation, but in any case, if it isn't normal behaviour, bring it up, eldery people have unique needs medically that younger people don't think about.....

Answer 3

Bring it up. Talk about it. The alternative is to accept the strange behavior, and if you can't completely accept it without question, something needs to be done. People have all sorts of problems that they don't know about, and sometimes the best thing that can happen is for someone to mention it. I had this issue with a relative and it eventually got to the point where we has to tell her we can't have her around the kids until she got help. She didn't, so I called the cops on her.

This involved illegal use of stolen prescription drugs, so the cops could help. If you can involve the law, go ahead and do it.

Answer 4

maybe you can start by cooking him a nice warm meal, and bringing the subject up. its best to bring stuff like that up over a full stomach. more than likely, he knows, maybe you should start by asking him if she is on any medication. if you are married, im sure it is not a very big deal to talk to him about this subject, even though a man's mother is usually close to his heart. the biggest issue is if she is a threat to herself or to anybody else, if she has hay wired hormones, but is not any threat to herself or others, you may not want to intervene.

Answer 5

He probably already knows. A person knows their own mother. Just bring up some of her behavior and let him guide the conversation.

Answer 6

You should open a subject positively and tell him. You never know, may be he knows it as well, but too shy to tell you himself! Sons always know things, but they protect their mums. But be careful how you will tell him, just in case he thinks you are the one with a problem if you don't get along with her.

In reality all mother in laws are mentally gone! As soon as their son is married, they are devestated and become the evil of our lives. we have to find the power to gun them to their face (a way of saying protect ourselves), before they make us mental, until we have a son and end up another new mother in law with over-powering our sons!

Answer 7

you can try to bring it up.. but if he didn't notice it in (assumption on age) 30 odd years.. do you really think he'll notice it now?

even if he does.. you are going to piss him off by telling him about it.. that doesn't mean you should or shouldn't.. just be ready and understanding if you decide to.... getting angry and him for him being upset will just make matters worse.

Answer 8

Just say it. I tell my girl that her mom is crazy a couple times a week.

Answer 9

if you are married you should be able to tell each other anything without fear..

i say you just tell him..

if you think he is going to react really bad, then maybe you should just keep it to yourself..

Answer 10

i would not say a word