I have been with my wife for 3 years, I'm 25 and she's 26. I have spoke to her about trying to stop going clubing with her friends but she says no. She goes clubing like ones a month or twice months. For me I don't think the wife should go clubing with out the husband...AND>>>>We do go out together clubing sometime but still wants to do it with her girlsfriends too.
2007-05-07 08:33:18 · 94 answers · asked by Bucanero 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yeah, as long as your ok with her having sex with other guys.
2007-05-07 08:36:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 13⤋
well to her she probably just really likes to go out with the girls so that it makes her feel like she did when she was younger and single. As long as she doesnt do it all the time then you lucky because some woman are always out. If it starts to become a problem in the relationship then you should proceed to sit down and talk about it. Trust me you both need to be going out without each other at times. Once you two have kids they will not be hardly any time for that. Try going out with some of your guy friends the same night she goes out with hers. That way it is a win win situation and you can spend time with each other when she gets home.
2007-05-07 08:40:43 · answer #2 · answered by Kort 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Marriage is about a compromise, these compromises are things that you two feel comfortable with and agree on.
She needs to realize that she is now married and needs to let go of her single past and on the other hand youneed to realize that this may be helping your marriage by letting her have some fun with her girlfriends every once in awhile.
Do you trust her? If there are reasons for you to believe that she behaves inappropriately in these clubs then you should bring that up but if not she has a right to keep a certain part of her social life.
Maybe she can go less and you should find things to do during those nights with the guys, I hope you are not sitting home waiting for her and calling her every hour asking where she is and when she is coming.
2007-05-07 08:54:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I don't see anything wrong with that. It's good that she picks a night to hang with the girls at least once a month. Unless you have something to worry about. Same as with you, You should get together with the guys and do the same. Do you feel insecure that she might find someone else or are you the type that likes to control her. Any more than once a month should be a luncheon or a movie or shopping. We all need to let go once in a while. And dancing is a good stress relief.
2007-05-07 08:44:26 · answer #4 · answered by lsjcmo3 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Women definitely do need time to be with their friends. I personally would not be comfortable with the clubbing thing though it's not uncommon. You know your wife don't you? Is she the type that's out looking for something better? Or is she just having fun with her friends? If she's trust worthy then I wouldn't make to big a deal out of it. I would explain how I feel and kindly suggest some alternative outings that you are more comfortable with. If you just don't trust her, then it's not about the clubs anyway.
2007-05-07 08:41:28 · answer #5 · answered by Athena 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
wow this is my fear, my fiance is 23 and has not experienced the club scene and I am 26 and I have. I feel once you get married those things should be over unless it's being done as a couple. Even though you might trust her I do understand that it can be tempting. I am sure you have already talked to her maybe you should go out and see what her reaction would be. Ask her if she is happy and if she is looking for something in club that you are not giving her it could be attention,
2007-05-07 09:14:59 · answer #6 · answered by ucme 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Common problem....
One spouse wants the other to be just as they see them in their mind, however, that's not always the way the other sees their life....
The compromise is you should let up and allow the other to keep the things that make them who they are, and who you fell in love with, trust is a tie that binds, unless broken...nothing can take away something that is not up for grabs.
Communicate the issues this cause within you, without attacking or being to confronting and perhaps the other side will see the affect it's having (some people TRULY don't know) once this is accomplished, go out with her.
A couple that allows each to keeps their individuality is a strength most overlook.
Be kind, thoughtful and respect each other enough to grow together through learning, not apart!
2007-05-07 08:44:47 · answer #7 · answered by ProudArmyWife2005 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Don't be too controling or you'll lose her. What problem exactly do you have with her going clubing with her girls? It sounds like you have trouble trusting her. If you trusted her, it wouldn't bother you. What do you think will happen? She might get hit on. That's fine! Because she's your wife, and she'll tell the guy to go away. If she wasn't trustworthy, you shouldn't have married her. It sounds like the problem is yours. Why would you want to tell her what she can and can't do?
2007-05-07 08:39:47 · answer #8 · answered by patti406 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
My wife goes out clubbing with her good lady
friends, and I do not mind as the trust we have in
one another overrides the , what might happen
scinerio. She always comes home and has never
shown to have drank too much and our relationship
continues to be strong as we each are given our
space at times to let the other know that the trust
is still there.
2007-05-07 15:26:07 · answer #9 · answered by RudiA 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How about this...the same night she goes clubbing, you go to a strip joint.
Women go clubbing to be the object of attention of men. Why can't she just go to a nice pub/martini bar with her female friends?
If you don't trust her completely and want to find out if she is looking for men, try this. Find a single guy friend/coworker whom she doesn't know. Preferrably a guy who is decent looking and can chat easily with women (maybe even a P.I.). Send him to the same club as her and have him hit on her. He can then report back to you what her reaction was. Be careful that the guy won't end up jumping into bed with her if he is successful.
If you forbid her to go, she'll only start resenting you.
2007-05-07 10:10:29 · answer #10 · answered by Thundercat 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is a very hard question to answer. I guess the first thing one has to take into consideration is the fact that you both are very young and you probably need to spend some time with your friends. Back in the days it was very wrong for a married woman (specially in the Latino culture) to be out and about without her husband, but know days its very common to see a group of married women having a “girl’s night out’.
Usually, the man is the one who goes out "with the boys" either clubbing or to a sport bar. As a woman I can tell you that I don't trust a man out with his "boys" because men are known to be flirts by nature and more likely to cheat. Women on the other hand, especially latinas (I speak for myself of course) tend to be faithful even in tempting situations.
I think my answer to your question is: No I don’t think there is anything wrong with the wife going out clubbing with her friends, especially if she is that young. However, you two are married and you both should be taking this kind of decisions together. Talk to her if it really bothers you, and give her alternatives to going out clubbing, maybe dinner or movies. But just know that she doesn’t have to go out clubbing to find someone to cheat, she could very well be groceries shopping and meet someone. You need to learn how to trust her and also understand that women need time off for themselves.
Good Luck!
2007-05-07 09:12:21 · answer #11 · answered by Calis_Shygirl 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋