I've lied about orgasms the last 5 years now Im getting tired of not getting any thing out of sex and tired of lieing should I tell him or never say a word.right now his sex life is perfact but I get way left out......
2007-05-07 07:50:38 · 57 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No. If hes happy let him be. Its not all about you, its about him too.
2007-05-07 07:55:36 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs. Iero <333 2 · 1⤊ 12⤋
I just cannot understand why any woman would let this go on for so long. So stupid.
Ladies, if you are not having orgasms with your man and you don't have some medical condition preventing you from having them, PLEASE tell him about it!
Should you do so after waiting years and years, probably not. But definitely say that you'd like to do something to change how you feel sex.
Guide his hands, face, and tongue. Talk before, during and after to say how it was. Change things up a bit.
Many of you women just string the man along thinking he's the greatest you've ever had. You just lie there and take it.
FREAK OUT! Communicate!
2007-05-07 08:03:50 · answer #2 · answered by JoelMacDad 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is so very sad. If you don't tell him your marriage will probably end in divorce. You have to confess to him, why did you start faking it in the first place? You should be able to tell him that it just didn't happen for you then talk about the problem. Is it what he's doing or is there some reason physically or emotionally that something is not right. You probably need to get some counseling and if it is physical see a doctor. We need that sexual release just as much as the men do. Do not continue on this way. Good luck Honey!
2007-05-07 08:00:28 · answer #3 · answered by KAREN P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His sex life can not POSSIBLY be perfect if you are not getting yours as well. The BEST sex he can ever have with you is yet to come. When a woman reaches orgasm during sex, certain things take place with the vagina that makes it that much more pleasurable for the man. TRUST ME! I know of what I speak! I'd tell him sweetie. He needs to know, and you need to get yours. Five years is WAY too long to have done without it, especially since you have a husband.
Post Script;
Be gentle about it. He doesn't necessarily need to know that you never have climaxed. If you approach this the wrong way, you can do irreparable damage to his ego and your sex life together.
2007-05-07 07:58:14 · answer #4 · answered by sustasue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have screwed up big time.
For the past 5 years you have been lying to him about what feels good to you. You have _trained_ him to not please you. This is your fault, yet if you tell him, he will blame himself.
First question, can you give yourself an orgasm? If you can't, how the heck is your lied to partner who you pretend everything feels good supposed to figure it out? If you can't give yourself one, work on that first.
Now lets assume that you can have orgasms. You just need to figure out how to get him to start doing what you need, at least some/most of the time. Rather then saying 'you suck in bed i've been lying' why not just tell him what you DO want him to do. Then praise him and tell him it was incredible. As long as you can sell your real o's more then the fake ones, he should adapt.
2007-05-07 08:48:18 · answer #5 · answered by kheserthorpe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Touchy subject, I think you could meet in the middle. By telling him that you havent gotten "there" in the past 5 years might really hurt his feelings and set him in "defensive mode"
Perhaps you should sit down and have a talk with him and say "Recently I've been un-able to "O" and I think these things (a short list) will help both you and I reach euphoria together. Ultimately realize you might have an incredible husband, but you said yourself you've lied to him for 5 years. So to all those who previously answered get a new husband, he should pleasure you, blah blah, realize he likely has no idea because she lied to him about getting the "O". In the future honesty is the best policy, you wouldn't be dealing with this right now if you had been honest.
Lastly, realize it's your "interpretation" that his sex life is perfect. It's likely he has his own problems or things he would like to change as well. Communicate and hopefully you both will have that "perfect sex life"
2007-05-07 07:56:51 · answer #6 · answered by jay k 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
yes, you should tell him, but be discreet about how you tell him. you don't want to hurt his feeling nor make him feel less of a man. Just tell him how hard it is for you to enjoy sex and ask him if he thinks that it is medical problem and should you see your gyn about it. most of the time it is a medical problem and not the partner. But he should know that you are having the problem. never tell a lie to your spouse, as that will only cause you both to resent one another, and that can become ugly. honesty is the best policy. i just wouldn't mention how long this has been going on. He will wonder why you never said anything sooner. his feeling are important also. see your doctor and go from there. it may be a very simple problem that can be resolved medically. don't be ashamed of it just be honest. there are many men and women that have this same problem.
2007-05-07 08:06:29 · answer #7 · answered by Tinkerbell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do....DO NOT TELL HIM YOU FAKED IT!!! His poor little male ego will NOT be able to handle that. All you have to do is give him suggestions on new things you want him to try on you/with you. Make sure that when you give him these suggestions, you are not in bed together. Talk to him in a casual setting over dinner or something. If he asks you where you got your ideas, lie and tell him that you saw it in a Cosmo. You don't want him to think that you had these things done to you by another man. If all else fails, masturbate during sex. That's just as good. He'll enjoy the view and you'll enjoy everything else. Good Luck
2007-05-07 08:06:36 · answer #8 · answered by Shelly E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you both need to work on your sex life and that you are no longer getting satisfaction. Don't tell that you have been lieing for 5 years. It will cause some unrepairable damage.
Just talk with him, tell him how you want it and when you finally have a great orgasm let him know immediately. He will remember that and try to do better each time.
2007-05-07 08:01:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him.See that is why guys get totally confused.We make love and you say no that was great.So we think everything is ok,and we keep doing it the way we think you like it.And its all a waste of time.
I would say most guys in a relationship would do anything it took to make sure there old lady is pleased with sex.Cause lets face it.if you are happy.Most likely you will do things for us to make us happy.
I would white lie a little bit.Say something like.Well I was wondering if we could try whatever.Explain to him what you like.Guide him where you like to be touched and caressed.
When he is doing something wrong tell him.Trust me if you have a good man.He will be happy to finally get some input.
Hope that helps.
2007-05-07 08:00:23 · answer #10 · answered by kenneth h 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do not tell him . But till him that you wont do try to have a bigger O and he need to work you more to get it or he need to bring in some toys or something to help get that bigger O .. My wife friend had the same problem so she told he that she need to say it diffidently and the out come was that she now how real go sex and is very happy now thank to what we said.. go tell him but do not say anything about not have an O for 5 year it will make it drive and ego go down. Good Luck.
2007-05-07 08:02:32 · answer #11 · answered by celticdragon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋