How can I stop feeling inferior around others?

Question

I feel inferior all the time mostly about looks, race. I really need to stop doing that but I can't. I study and work hard but I feel even if I do my best, I would still be the "less" of the superior people. What do I have to do with it? Is there any good way to think about things to not feel inferior?

Your comments will help me out greatly, give me your best. Thanks.

Answer 1

There are some external causes that may serve to provoke feelings of inferiority—causes that arouse our natural tendency to feel inferior. These are physical defects, parental attitudes, social disadvantages such as a lower economic status, and mental limitations. Those who suffer from what they consider to be physical defects are especially sensitive if these defects are called to their attention. They often try to conceal the defect, and if they cannot, will try to exaggerate other aspects of their appearance that are not defective. One who has been reared in a home where quarreling or alcoholism are rampant, or divorce or separation has occurred, or a blot has been placed upon the family name, there will be tendency to feel inferior. He or she will often feel humiliated in the presence of his peers. Considering social disadvantages, one in the lower income brackets will tend to feel inferior when comparing himself with the more successful. Other considerations of social disadvantage include living in a home with foreign parents who speak with an accent and maintain their old country ways. Also, a home where younger children are constantly compared with the success of an older sibling, or where there is a constant barrage of criticism directed toward the children. Aside from academic shortcomings, mental limitations may include the inability to handle or cope with various conditions or situations. In reality, though, this lack of ability to handle or cope with problems may be due to a lack of experience rather than mental limitations.
Most of us cannot adequately live in self-assurance if we are tolerating constant feelings of inferiority. Those who accept these feelings without compensating suffer from an inferiority complex. The vast majority of human beings rely on various methods of compensation in order to cope with the problem. These methods of compensation fall into five general categories. Psychologists would not necessarily refer to these categories and prefer to regard all the various defense mechanisms employed as the refusal on the part of those who feel inferior to accept the reality of feeling inferior.

The first to consider is apparent superiority. This does not refer to genuine superiority which results from cleverness or the easy accomplishment of difficult tasks. Over-compensation from feelings of inferiority may manifest itself in bluffing, but is often mistaken for genuine superiority. We have all encountered individuals who act so superior that their behavior and actions become obnoxious. This is often a cover for inferiority. People with true competence do not have to compensate, and everyone recognizes them by their bearing and abilities. This is not the case, however, with those who possess deep feelings of inferiority. Their artificial air becomes a burden to anyone who associates with them for any length of time and is often manifested in appearing knowledgeable in every field, or having an answer for everything, or arguing over every matter.

A second way of compensating is living in a fantasy. Psychologists regard this as evading reality. An important method of fantasizing is by the use of daydreams. We may recall the movie, "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty," where Danny Kaye portrayed a man who constantly imagined himself to be a strong, competent hero. Yet, it was only in his imagination. This is the way compensating by fantasy works. Another way is to spend hours and hours before the TV watching various characters vicariously act out the events in their lives. This method takes the mind off oneself by consuming the time and energy that is normally used to think about feeling inferior. This time could be used in a much more productive manner, for example, in striving to overcome one's weaknesses by developing one's strengths. The time spent fantasizing hinders the thought processes from being truly creative and developing one's talents.

A third way of compensating is by the use of fictitious goals. These goals are usually unattainable goals that a person is incapable of achieving. A number of reasons may contribute to this inability to achieve. These could be a lack of intellectual capacity, lack of education, lack of economic means, or even physical handicaps of one type or another. Reality is distorted by this method of compensation, and the person lives essentially in a dream world. Such a person is always working on some "big project," or some "big deal," or "some invention" which generates a feeling of importance and impresses others. When nothing ever materializes, observers begin to ask the question "Where's the beef?"

The fourth method of compensation is by use of the specialist approach. In such a case the sufferer becomes the absolute authority in one field. This approach hearkens back to the superiority syndrome as well as the fantasy syndrome, unless, of course, one has truly become a specialist. But even then specialists know their limitations, a factor not generally acknowledged by those who employ the specialist approach in compensating. The real problem with this approach is the tendency to become unbalanced. Many times the specialty will be abstract, of no practical purpose or value. There may be a lack of judgment and common sense. Everything is evaluated with such attention placed on the specialty that the time is spent on the twigs, not the trunk of the tree. Little of real value is accomplished. Many more worthwhile things could be accomplished if the specialty approach could be balanced with the practical aspects of living. But those who use this for a method of compensating find this difficult to achieve.

The last method of compensating to be addressed here is identifying with a champion. Psychologists would be much more detailed in their analyses of the methods used in this kind of compensation, but for the laymen what is presented here should generally suffice. Identifying with a champion is so common that most people take it for granted. This can include not only identifying with some hero or team, but even identifying with and manifesting pride in one's company. As long as this does not interfere with one's goals in life, and does not deprive an individual of happiness and a satisfactory life, this kind of compensation is the least harmful to the individual because it can lead to better relationships. Some, however, tend to become so involved with the thing with which they identify that they become unbalanced. These unbalanced individuals, while defending their champion if he is criticized, have even killed others who disagreed with them. This may sound farfetched, but the facts say otherwise. We have all heard of parents attacking the coach, the parents of opposing teams, or even the players over what they consider to be some injustice. People who identify with a champion or a champion team, or take pride in their occupation, or in their company, credit themselves with their choices—a technique that compensates for their feelings of inferiority.

The solution to this problem is to achieve balance in one's life. To limit one's life to one area of knowledge can be a serious drawback to true success. A balanced life is one that is diversified, one that involves a number of wholesome and worthwhile experiences. While it may be good to be outstanding in one area of expertise, one may find himself completely out of touch with everything else and can easily lack any social graces. A man is not an island to himself. Success in life includes balanced socializing.

Answer 2

Your culture must be as old as a European culture , not knowing which culture I cannot give you pointers on the things you can be proud of you are your own best judge of that , but do investigate your own culture .
There are no superior people just superior individuals , and you can make yourself that without arrogance , which will make you the focus of negative envy .

Looks in most cultures , i wonder if you agree 75 % of people are ordinary 15% plain lets not say ugly and the rest are model looks or in some way attractive , so the chances are you are in the 75%. if not charm and smiling helping People and being polite and a good friend can mean just as much .
Work at being an individual not part of a race or type in a very positive way

Answer 3

I used to have that problem (middle school must suck for everyone!) What you have to do is fake it. I have an anxiety disorder and no-one would ever guess that. If you want to speak, speak loud and have confidence in your voice. Speak as though it is vitally important that the person/s hear what you have to say. Be bold and make eye contact, people who are nervious do not do this. Being able to hold eye contact inforces confidense and can actually attract people to you. Also, dress with confidense. Ever have a day that you look in the mirror and you just feel great and confident because you know you look good and you continue through your day and get compliments on how you look and that boost you up even more. Do whatever it takes to maintain that look and that feeling. People can tell when you don't have it and they will either cut you off at what your saying because they know you aren't confident enough to speak up. Never let anyone cut you off and if they do you have to be very bold and say, "Excuse me, I wasn't finished." and then continue with confidense. People will respect you more and you will feel much better about yourself. Good Luck!!!!!

Answer 4

Also, what makes, in your eyes, these other people as superior? As you stated, you're the one that's feeling inferior. Just realize that everyone puts their socks on one foot at a time... which means that they are just like you in some respects.

Have the confidence that you can do what they can do, or learn what to do, plus don't give up and be defeated.

A saying that an old boss told me is that "you know when you're rich is when you can make a fortune and lose it, but make it again". Take Donald Trump, for example, he was in bankruptcy about 7 years ago. Now he's back in the game.

Give yourself the chance to fall down. Everybody falls down...just pick yourself up and be the wiser and believe in yourself.

Answer 5

Read the "art of positive thinking" I think it is by Dr. Vincent Peale. I had a son who was feeling like you. When he started reading it he couldn't put it down and it changed his whole outlook on life for the better.

Answer 6

Talk to yourself very positively,, .. try to talk to yourself ask the ways and means of getting rid of this,, tell your mind that you are the greatest here,, command your mind to be more powerful ... think you are a very dynamic and energitic charactor,, nothing else will not be helpful other than talking to yourself positively...

Answer 7

are you hanging around people who have a knack of puttong you down??
do you find yourself believing them??
are you obsessed with comparing yourself to others??
if you are engaging in the above,then it really a problem of your creation.
move around with people who inspire you and who respct you for who you are.
know who you are and learn what to listen to and what to ignore.
best wishes

Answer 8

The Bible says to esteem all others above yourself, so I'd say your in pretty good shape !

Hey ! "I love you" !!! You are the only one like "you" unique and created to be just "you" God doesn't want all His kids "the same", who would ?

Answer 9

Stand strong and stand your ground ! Do you not know your self by now?
Just be the best that you cna be and know how to , but be cool!

Answer 10

what a good question