It was my choice to save myself for the man I marry and I don't regret that, I know I'm doing the right thing. But I am quite scared about the pain and I would want to avoid it as much as I could. Is there any possiblity? Is it going to hurt much?
2007-05-07 06:51:37 · 33 answers · asked by dana 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no it doesn't hurt that bad. just uncomfortable at first. I have alot of respect for you saving yourself for marriage. Alot of people these days don't think of sex as a sacrad thing !!!!
2007-05-07 08:27:59 · answer #1 · answered by Natasha T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure you discuss this with any potential lover, whether you decide to hold out for marriage or not. You don't want some idiot to just come plowing in because he's insensitive.
As for the pain- it's hard to explain. It's been a long time but I remember telling someone back then that it's a good kind of pain. It hurts, but you want it. It's more like pressure than anything else, and even during the first time you relax and it starts to feel better.
As for the mental part: You said that you are doing the "right thing". So good, you're doing what's right for you, but where did you get that idea? Is it from religious upbringing or something?
You need to understand that if you think sex is bad, and dirty, and painful because you've been telling yourself that for 41 years, that it is going to be bad and dirty and painful and you won't enjoy it. I truly hope you do enjoy it when you finally are with the right man, though.
2007-05-07 07:06:34 · answer #2 · answered by Mulan Rouge 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The pain is not bad at all, and depending on how often you have sex once you start, it should go away pretty quickly with each time. Your body also natually relaxes itself during foreplay, and that and lubrication should help ease any pain. Normally, the pain might be felt with the first insertion, but as sex continues, your vagina will quickly stretch to the size it needs to be and the pain should subside.
Although you may not be open to this, it's not a bad suggestion to try some sort of masturbation aid prior to having intercourse. There are a number of reputable websites where you can order toys that will allow you to feel comfortable with the feel of something begin inserted in your vagina, without actually having intercourse. I personally do not see this as "losing your virginity". You will get your body used to it, limit the pain you'll feel during actual intercourse, and you will probably enjoy your first sexual experience that much more if you can calm your anxiety about having a negative experience.
2007-05-07 07:07:22 · answer #3 · answered by marienne94 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Whoever saying it doesn't hurt the very first time, as a female is a damn lie!! Be honest ,"hell yeah the first time will hurt rather he's gentle or not!! Unless we have some ruined people on the site! Try to relax and lubricate yourself,the next time you'll want it all the time,be care full not to become nympho it can happen.
2007-05-07 07:31:39 · answer #4 · answered by hot chocolate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HOLY HELL!!!!! What have u been waiting on?!!!! Man I bet u are so tight like a Bolted Bank Safe!!!! Yes it is going to hurt at first , but the pain will go away after 5 minutes. Don't try any positions like the Karma Sutra kind or " The Preztel" or Missionary or DoggyStyle. That hurts like hell!!!. There is no chance that u are going to avoid pain. If u have waited all this time, DAMN!!! And don't mess with the huge dudes!!! They could knock your insides loose!!! Trust me, my man is huge and he drills me!!! he has bent me in all kind of ways!!!! He's a major freak and he does things to me any woman would want their man to do to them. I lost my virginity 8 months after my 16th birthday. I haven't been a virgin for 3 years!! I have been celibate for 8 months because my baby is distant from me now. We don't get to see much of each other anymore. But please, take it slow, don't rush it.
2007-05-07 07:02:40 · answer #5 · answered by sassyfox2007 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It is not painful, and to most is quite enjoyable. Just make sure he knows its your first time and take it slowly. It will take a couple times to get used to it and comfortable. Dont worry about it too much and just enjoy your first time! If you get yourself all worked up then it wont be as pleasant as a memory. (Dont be alarmed if you bleed... its normal for that the first time.)
2007-05-07 06:57:14 · answer #6 · answered by bnelly05 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My hat goes off to you for making that choice. I'm sorry to say, that it took several attempts for me to lose my virginity. The membrane was strong. The more I was aroused, it help me bite through the pain of it all. Once you get through that, it should be smooth sailing all of the way.
2007-05-07 07:01:57 · answer #7 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Think about all you know about sex...people having sex...girls having baby after baby before they're 20...do you think if it hurt THAT much, little girls would be doing it?
There's a certain amount of discomfort...it varies from woman to woman...and there may be slight bleeding/spotting when the hymen breaks (if you still have one). Just have him go slow, use some personal lubricant if needed, and relax and enjoy the ride...if he knows his business and gets you "ready" you may feel no discomfort at all.
Enjoy ☺
2007-05-07 06:56:39 · answer #8 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It's not as painful as you may think! Make sure your husband is slow & patient the first few times. Soon after you will be enjoying sex and not able to get enough of it!
2007-05-07 06:55:34 · answer #9 · answered by Truth Hurts 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow, that's admirable. I applaud you. As for the pain, I can't say that I had anything but a minor discomfort. I'm not sure if that is different with age, but you could ask your gynecologist.
2007-05-07 06:56:02 · answer #10 · answered by VW 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋