here's a situation i never thought i would find myself in. my wife recently told me she would like to leave me. we have been together for 7 years and married for 4. she enjoys going to strip clubs with her girlfriends (seriously for her birthday recently she had her party there.)
i am very committed to her, i have provided her with a vehicle, a house, basically anything she needs (within reason - i won't buy diamonds just on a whim). i am there for her emotionally and to help her in any way she needs.
now having said that - i am not the only guy i know in the 35-40 age frame experiencing similar circumstances. i know of 7 other guys (at least) experiencing similar life changes.
i wonder if growing in the 80s we actually listened to our mothers, sisters etc and realized that women need attention and care. maybe this is a crazy conclusion, but when i hear women saying where are the men seeking commitment - i am wondering if this is what they want...
2007-05-07 06:32:24 · 11 answers · asked by william o 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
just to update here. my wife works at a restaurant... which may be an issue there. she stays late at work and goes out partying afterwards. i work for an advertising agency and work normal hours during the day. she will come home some week nights at 3 am. i have to get up at 7 am.
people have mentioned i may be needy or mushy... or whatever. not sure that this really applies. is it needy to want your wife home at a decent hour in bed with you? is it needy to want to spend quality time with your wife that doesn't include going to a strip club or a bar?
2007-05-07 07:06:45 · update #1
No.. This is called the 7 year itch and is is side effect of not having enough maturity when married... One of two things will happen... Either she will get divorced and regret it, or will wise up to her situation and stay...
For your part you are contributing to this... Be a man... Provide support, but do not allow yourself to get walked on... You must provide a clear line that she must not cross if she wants you... You cannot allow her to just do anything she wants and know you will be there for her... This behavior will drive her away because it is VERY anti-seductive....
Keep this in mind about being a man... Women want something of value... They want something they feel is special.. You sound like you are this type of guy, by the way... However, when you do anything for her, you simply are showing to her that she is better than you... Dont do that any longer... Wise up and realize that you have value... Women want you.... Be a man!!
2007-05-07 06:41:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband has no problems with me going to the club with the girls, he knows who I come home too. Let her have her fun, after a while it will slow down, don't you go out the guys every now and then. She probably feels ties down and needs a little escape, maybe tell her to take a mini vacation with some of her girlfriends, life can be stressful, everyone needs a break. Give her a little freedom, she be back soon!!!
2007-05-07 13:52:22 · answer #2 · answered by Purple_passion2805 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's having a midlife crisis! Right now she wants to party and be young again. But this lifestyle is short lived. After she gets it out of her system she will want back her quiet family life. But will you pay that price for her??? That's a question only you can answer.
2007-05-07 13:42:25 · answer #3 · answered by Truth Hurts 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to rub salt in the wound but if you were filly satisfing your lady sexually, she would not feel the need to go out and "party" and look for other men. 80% of all women who cheat do so for the simple reason that their man can't or doesn't satisfy them sexually. Your best bet is to move on and not make the same mistake with your next woman.
2007-05-07 13:43:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL..well I'm a wife that actually left my hubby, and now I go out more..but thats only because I need to keep busy. I dont think alot of girls do this, personally I want to go back home because its not as fun as we think it is..Maybe she just needs some time to adventure out...
2007-05-07 13:37:47 · answer #5 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, she is not the only one--
I have had two close girlfriends leave their husbands (and children) to basically become party girls.
So the husbands lost their wives and I certainly lost my friends...they would have loved to drag me down the same path, but I didn't want to lose MY family and husband...
I think it's crazy what they did...but sometimes it does seem appealing...
2007-05-07 13:45:28 · answer #6 · answered by quilt-babe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of women crave drama to keep things interesting for them. She just sounds like a user. You seem like a nice guy and deserve better than that.
2007-05-07 13:54:31 · answer #7 · answered by #1 Lucy Fan 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let her see what it feels like not to have everything she needs. You don't owe her anything. Your wife obviously wasn't serious about her vows. Let her go and she'll miss all the things you've given her.
2007-05-07 13:56:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women want to be with their equals.
Giving a women everything is trying to buy them.
Say "No" more and make her actually deal with you instead of bossing you around.
2007-05-07 14:21:58 · answer #9 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know.... but I can tell you are sound a bit too mushy and needy... most women can't stand that.
2007-05-07 14:01:47 · answer #10 · answered by Sweetness 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋