My family is angry with my husband?

Question

My Sister and my Mom are both very upset with my husband. This last Saturday we shared a birthday party for my sisters stepchild 4 and my son who just turned 2. They have a pool, so it was a pool party. (my son can't swim, he also gets terrified with others in the pool) They had a pinata and a bounce house. Well, my son loved the bounce house. Earlier in the day, my sister offered to watch our son so we could eat. During that time my son was left alone w out telling us as another adult let him out back to where the pool was with no one outside. husband looked up at that time and made it to our son before any problems. my husband told me in front of my mom that my sister would never watch our son again. He was a little bitter and moody the rest of the party. My Mom told me she would talk to my husband later about his behavior. Later that night my sister calls upset about comments. I told both of them to talk it over themselves I am 8 months preg. do not need stress. What to do

Answer 1

he has a valid concern but overreacted. let it blow over

Answer 2

You are right to stay out of it. Your husband has a right to be angry that your sister did not have enough respect that your child does not know how to swim to be mindful of him being around the pool unsupervised. Your sister is upset that your husband blew up at the party and maybe caused a scene - but it was the risk to your child that caused that fit - not that your husband being some lunatic. Things will settle down if they talk. Your sister needs to apologize for her lack of respsonsibility - she nees to do this to BOTH of you! While she may have been very busy - playing host is alot of work - she should have been positive to relay to the secondary adult,that he couldn't swim to be sure and keep him near the play house or other activity before she just walked away and assumed he'd be okay. Your husband also needs to relax just a bit and understand that playing host to many guests is very difficult and while she may have made an error in judgement at the time,thank goodness God was watching over your child that time and it will most likely never happen again. Your husband will come around when and if he sees her showing that she will be careful of his most precious child.

Answer 3

Your husband was understandably distraught when he saw your son in danger near the pool. He also realized that your sister dropped the ball by not watching your son as she had offered to do. Your husband has the right to be upset with your family for not looking after your son, he realized what could have happened to your son had he not rescued him.
Realize that your husband spoke out of anger, stress, and tension.

At this point, everyone was hurt, and feelings were ruffled all the way around. The best thing is for everyone to apologize for their part in this situation and just put it all behind you.

Answer 4

Your husband had a right to be upset. He thought your son could easily have been in a situation where he could have drowned.
But it would have been better if he had talked to you about it, you had both decided to simply tell your sister that things got a little wild at the party and you thought your son could have gotten hurt because he wasn't being watched closely. Then in the future, you just wouldn't leave your child in her care unless you felt it was a safe enough situation.
Your sister was humiliated that your husband was so angry about it to you in front of your Mom. She probably, if she thinks about it, would feel the same way about the unsafe situation.
Your husband was being watchful and protective and that is never a bad thing. Your sister wasn't - she let another adult be irresponsible with your son. That is a bad thing.
You are right to feel uncomfortable, caught in the middle.
And you were right to let them deal with it and leave you out of it. Keep it that way.

Answer 5

I don't blame your husband. Maybe he jumped the gun a bit, but would everyone have felt better if he did nothing and your kid ended up in the pool?

Although he may have been a little harsh with your sister, he was being a concerned parent and a good father. I would be upset too. Your mother needs to keep her nose in her own business. Your sister owes both of you an apology, and maybe in turn when your hubby's anger settles down, he can offer an apology of his own. Dragging you into it is entirely unfair. Remind everyone that you don't need this stress. Thank God that nothing happened and tell everyone to get over it.

Answer 6

I understand your husband's anger, thank goodness he got to your son in time, children should never be unattended, especially if there is a pool, the are too many downing deaths every year. Your mother should talk to your sister about her negligence, you never leave a child especially a 2 year old by themselves. I would stick my your husband on this one.

I'm sure he will calm down about this in time. His anger came out of fear of what could have happened, I would have reacted the same way, if someone, no matter who they are put my child in harm's way.

Congratulations on the baby I hope you have an easy labor and a healthy baby.

Answer 7

You feel that the problem is that your family is angry with your husband, and not that your sister left your son unattended in a potentially dangerous environment?

I would say that you need to calmly let your family know that it was wrong to let your son go outside unattended near a swimming pool.

Then give them some time to think about it.

Require a full apology from them, and a promise from you sister that she will never simply leave your son unattended.

(Actually, I'm inclined to agree with your husband that she should never have charge of him again, but if she gives you reason to believe she now understands how dangerous and wrong it was, you might get him to reconsider.)

Answer 8

It is stuff like that I do not let other people watch my children. There concept is to go and do something else while my child is running around like an animal. So it is a difference of parenting style. But watching someones kid means you watch them. Having a 2 year old unsupervised is asking for trouble. Where did your sister go and why? did she out your child in some elses charge or she walked off? Your husband has every right to be mad and when it is the saftey of your child there is no comprimise.

Answer 9

With every family comes problems, that all seem to go away with time. This problem is not your husband, it is your sister. If she said she would watch your son, then she should have been watching him. Children do fall into pools, which would be terrible. I suggest you call your sister and mother and tell them that. Being angry is better than go to a funeral. Good Luck. By the way, I would have been really mad at your sister.

Answer 10

Your husband had every right to be upset. It only takes a split second for something to happen to an unattended child left alone by a swimming pool. He could of slipped and fell in. Your husband should be upset with the person who opened the door and allowed his son to go outside by himself. If that person was your sister, she needs to be held responsible for her actions. How would your sister or your mother feel if someone did this to their child?

Answer 11

I think your mom and sister should apoligies to you and your husband. There should have been a gate with a lock around the pool. And adult watching the pool area and everyone taking turns watching the children. I'm glad none was hurt ! You are all lucky.