My ex-husband wants me to come and stay in his house with our 15 year old daughter until she finishes high school or for about 2 1/2 years. He has sole physical and legal custody of her. He has moved away due to job reasons and left her in his mother's care.
I live in another state. It will be hard for me to pick up and move. I will have to ship or sell my belongings, car and car and find a job in the state where she lives.
He keeps telling me that I am not able to think beyond myself and have only learned to think of myself.
I think that my daughter should start afresh in a new school/ town and then she may do better in high school. I am willing to have her come and live with me. He is not in agreement with that.
If I live in his house, he does not have to sell it. I will probably have to pay him rent and he gets to keep his job. He is stressed out now and having difficulties on the job.
Am I too selfish and only thinking of myself?
2007-05-07 03:43:36 · 8 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Again, you have not EMPOWERED YOURSELF. Your daughter has the right to choose to where she wishes to live- actually since she was 13. You are STILL letting your X ddetermine the five W. Who, What When Where and Why. Call you daughter make a simple request that if she would like to come and live with you, re-establish in a new community- and school. After she has made a decision then a brief talk with the X and grandma is in order. Explain it can be handled without the courts or with. You are letting (as usual) your X determine what is right for you. As long as you continue to BOW to his requests Nothing is going to change in your life or your daughters. Isn't it time for you to think out side the box and REALLY not be concerned what he says but rather what your daughter and you may want and has not been verbalized?
2007-05-07 06:50:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it somewhat is the region the place i'm now. One undesirable dating after yet another, and now i'm on my own. i comprehend I also have a project and characteristic taken the step to heal myself. do no longer settle for that the only decision is to end all of it. i've got been taken care of like dirt by family contributors, ex-husbands and BFs. tension and melancholy are an ailment, i did no longer comprehend I even had this ailment. It makes u experience valueless, and what's the use. i'm searching for counseling and attempting meds. I haven't any friends so have desperate to attempt volunteering. i'm in undesirable well being as nicely so working is likewise an argument yet there are jobs i would be waiting to do. i attempt to take on a daily basis as a small step, with the intention to no longer be overwhellmed. additionally I made a catalogue of what's powerful in my lifestyles and concentration in this. i do no longer even have scientific coverage yet going to a health center, there is often help if u only ask. Please comprehend that ending all of it isn't the respond. I only desire to grant u a large hug and say it's going to be very nicely. somebody cares approximately you!
2016-10-30 13:27:11 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's a bit guilty of not being able to think beyond HIMSELF. Have either of you discussed any of this with your 15-yr-old daughter? She's old enough that she should be involved in this decision, as changing schools at that age is tough. She may opt to simply stay with Grandma. He's using your child to manipulate you emotionally into giving him his way. Do what is best for your daughter and do what is best for yourself. If you don't take care of you, he sure isn't going to. Perhaps, he needs to explore his career options if he's not willing to allow you temporary custody of your child. Good luck!
2007-05-07 03:56:32 · answer #3 · answered by classic1957gal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is his problem and he expects you to solve it by changing your whole life. The next time he says those things to you tell him you offered a perfectly good solution and that is as far as you are willing to go. He is a bully and I can't understand how he got sole custody.
2007-05-07 04:19:03 · answer #4 · answered by kitkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At a certain age, kids are allowed to decide who they want to live with. Ask the kid and go from there. Court orders can be changed. If she wants to stay there, so be it. Let him be the daddy he was court ordered to be.
2007-05-07 04:29:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is the selfish one. He doesn't care about you, or what you need. As long as he gets what HE wants, that's all that matters to him. Don't let him continue to abuse you emotionally, which is what he's doing. Put an end to that immediately!
2007-05-07 04:00:55 · answer #6 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
'He has sole physical and legal custody of her'
Ha! One time where the tables are turned in a divorce and the man didn't get screwed financially. What did you do that he got sole custody? This is very funny.
2007-05-07 03:54:13 · answer #7 · answered by Hugh Jardon 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Unless you want to restart the marriage, for darn sure don't go live with him. Silliest thing you could do.
2007-05-07 04:31:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋