Okay Im with a man who has a child from his previous marriage. They have been divorced for about 10 years now and had a very ugly divorce. Since my relationship with him all i have ever heard was how much the two hate each other. They have began talking to each other about issue that do not involve there 14 yr old child which I found strange but didnt say anything. Now usually she would pick her daughter up and take her to her own home for a visit but for some reason she has made plans to come to our home and visit her child today. She even went as far as to call her ex and ask him what he wanted for dinner that she would get dinner. I find this soooo werid and I told my fiancee I think this is very ackward and want no part in it. If she wants to visit with her child she should take her like she always has to her own home. I made a comment that I guess I should invite my ex husband to dinner to and he got upset with me. Am I over reacting or is this strange.
2007-05-07 03:43:02 · 9 answers · asked by Kim 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should know that his child lives with us and has for the past 2 years.
2007-05-07 03:43:54 · update #1
No you are not over reacting……Yes this is odd... Only because there seems to be a lot of talk lately and the behaviour has now changed to wanting to be around YOUR house. I personally wouldn’t like it either….unless it was mostly because of the child. Sure people learn to relax and become friends again after years of separation. Who knows maybe the kid had enough and told BOTH of them off…. BUT…………………….
Now if she would of asked to talk to YOU and see if you would mind her bringing something over for dinner… trying to make friend with you too.. It would be a different setting altogether. But you where not asked at all.. not even by your hubby.
Yet still there is talking going on behind your back and you’re being left out in the cold. Something isn’t sitting right….. Well have her come over and see what happens.. Watch them both and the reactions also the child too… I know this is tough and puts you in a horrible position. Yet the only way to find out is seeing things for yourself. There is something he is holding back… well both are holding back…
Your hubbies reaction I can tell isn’t what you where hoping to hear. Instead he has accepted her coming over…..And now doesn’t have a problem with this after so many years…… It’s an impression of leading to a reunion and trying to get back together.
Your natural defence was being sarcastic and reverse the scenario which he didn’t like. He hasn’t given you any thought at all on this one. Isn’t seeing what you could be thinking.
So of course he is now thinking your are jealous when really you feel left out. Because by the looks of things you have no say in what is happening…
Wait for dinner and see what happens.. then approach him on it and see what erupts… all you can do at the moment is watch. This is happening on YOUR CLOCK and have every right to know what is stirring…..
2007-05-07 04:29:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is definitely odd, since they have "hated" each other for so long. Could it be possible that the daughter wants to talk about something and wants her mom there as support? Maybe the daughter wants to live with her mom now and the ex is being nice because of it. Something is up and if I had to guess it has to do with the daughter.
It just sounds like she's trying to get him to let his guard down for some reason.
I don't think you are over reacting, except you have to know that they're always going to be in each others lives because of their daughter. Sometimes more involved and sometimes less. it just depends on what is going on at the time. But something about this seems suspicious.
2007-05-07 10:56:29 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've gotta agree. Visitation is for the child and the parent. It's not meant as an ex spouse get together. Your fiancee should have squashed the silly idea. Are you sure you want to marry this guy? Something smells rotten.
2007-05-07 11:38:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time you know she is coming over invite your ex at the same time and have a VERY interesting dinner party. He'll be steaming but I'm pretty sure you'll get your point across.
2007-05-07 10:53:48 · answer #4 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think its weird...its called personal boundaries...and you have a right to expect them to be respected.
have you asked him why are they suddenly developing a close friendship and where is it going? why does she feel the need to bring him dinner or is it dinner for all of y'all...
that is so messed up...its like she's disrespecting you in your own home...i would tell him it feels that way...then you have to figure it out from there, because if he doesnt get what you're saying..then he's not really heariing you....
i really wish you the best in this situation....
2007-05-07 10:54:14 · answer #5 · answered by D.... 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its possible that they have decided to let bygones be bygones and attempt to get along for the good of their child. Thats the way it should be.
2007-05-07 10:52:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont mean to sound harsh, merely realistic....Perhaps he needs to get back into his prior life....
And you move on with yours. If this is an issue now, it will certainly not get better should you marry him.
2007-05-07 10:57:00 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it strang i agree with you and if it gos threw maybe you should invite your x to dinner see how he feels after words
2007-05-07 10:50:33 · answer #8 · answered by tigger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your FIANCE
lol
if it was your fiancee youd be marrying a woman,
2007-05-07 11:05:10 · answer #9 · answered by Star274009 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋