Is it so wrong? I was married to a very successful doctor, he made a lot of money so it was never an issue?

Question

we had a gorgeous home, cars, trips, jewelry, the man spoiled me endlessly. Unfortunately, I was NOT happy and always felt like I had a hole in my heart. I didn't love him, I just loved the fact he could take care of me. I left after 14 yrs and now I teach children who come from poverty, I own a small home, I've cleaned out my closets of all my fancy clothes, I sold my car and now I feel content. It was difficult for me coming from a modest background to live that way, it never felt right. I know women dream of having a life like that but I was miserable. And now trying to find a man who would not feel intimidated by that is difficult, was I so wrong to do what I did??

Thanks for the added details however there was NO infidelity and honestly he wants me back so that's absurd

Answer 1

Look Friend ..

Are you happy now ??
this is the question ..

your feelings now .. why you are so hard on yourself ?? be honest with yourself .. as you seemed you did once.. You have the choice always .. to feel happy or just to go with your life even if it is miserable for you ..

None of us would help you .. none of us feel your feelings .. might be understanding but never experience same feelings you have .. even if we are in the same situations .. Personalities are much different ..

Do you prefer to stay there with your Husband .. and making adultery ?? or other affairs ?? or the worse feeling miserable ??

You are now took the choice .. it is your own .. whether you thought well about it before you did .. or just you are an Gemini female .. who always wants change and moody ..

All threads in your hand .. you know all the details .. just my advice .. think well . then when you make a decision .. never look behind ..

Life is always there infront of you ..
Looking behind will not give you Except pains , and will add nothing to your life now ..
We live after our dreams , and to gain experience , and sure to enjoy life ..

Enjoy your life , your destiny is there waiting you ..
Have a great day ..
Good luck ..
.

Answer 2

No there is nothing wrong with it. You did enjoy it for awhile but realized you preferred to stop and smell the roses instead of being one. The only problem is it took you 14 years to realize this. This would probably be the reason why you fell out of love… Too many nice things being replacing, communication and full understanding of each others goals, ideas and wants. After all a doctor is hardly ever home the demand for them is very high. It’s too bad you two couldn’t come up with a happy medium instead of leaving. Maybe doing charity work while married would of helped... but then again maybe not because the feeling is stronger then you originally thought. After all you are content now which is hard to come by... No matter what you have had or wanted.

This is one those decisions people need to respect and understand. Which I hope you ex see’s your point of view and understands it. I’m sure this was a hard pill for him to swallow.

I don’t think finding a man who understands this is a problem or even hard to come by. You show you don’t need that high maintenance that other require to live. It shows who you really are and men are attracted to this… I don’t care what anyone says it’s true. As we age people tend to see things for what they are. You need to find a different circle of friends. You where in the “Doctors” clicky level/group for all those years.

There are some great single sites to help you ease into the dating and find that special someone who has the same interests and morals you have. They are out there just not out and about as much. Also groups you could join too where you would be meeting people with the same personality as yourself. (I know easier said then done.) Yet this would help.

Answer 3

No, you were not wrong at all! I might be biased though. I too left my husband (a physician) because money was just not enough and I was not happy. I grew up very poor and I thought that I would be happy married to someone who would make a very good living. I wanted to have children and I wanted to give my future kids all the best things in life. But every year that I spent with him, I just fell further into a downward spiral. I was not in love with him either. I now work full time, struggle with bills, etc. But I am happier now that I have been in years! My ex husband always called me horrible names and told me that I would never be able to make it on my own. Well, I am doing fine and he has been proven wrong. Don't feel bad about deciding what you have. You deserve a good and happy life. If you find that men find your past intimidating, I would avoid talking about it at first. There is no need to converse about how rich your ex husband is. Talking about all of the money you used to have only makes the new man think that he cannot afford to be with you.;) Best wishes in your new life!!:)

Answer 4

Wow...I really have to say I respect you for not being one of those mindless self indulged women who come on here just to boast about having material things etc.

.I mean I have to be honest I would love to have the life you had, and when I first read your story all I was thinking at first was "Is she crazy!"
.Because I guess when you come from somwhere spending money like it doens't mean anything, isn't an option. To think what it would be like to be in your shoes....that would be the life.

.But I guess it's true, money does not buy happiness.

.I'm just glad you didn't continue to live a lie basically and stay, especially when it did not make you happy. It's nice to hear of a woman who doesn't need money or fancy materials to make her happy or to make her who she is.

.I do not think you were wrong for leaving or for feeling the way you did. You are just very self motivated and independent, and it shows. I think a lot of men can appreciate a woman like you, who clearly shows no interest in material things to make you happy. You definetely have good qualities about you, that make you priceless.

....I wish more women could be like you, and learn that they don't need money and materials to survive or to define who they are as a person. It's a quality that many lack.

*I think you made the right choice. And a lot of women can learn a lot from what you just said.*

Answer 5

I don't think the money made you unhappy. I think you are unhappy with yourself because you allowed money to seduce you into a marriage in which you did not adequately love the person. For give yourself and move on. The having or not having of money should not be an issue. If you had money again I feel you would do great things to help others with it plus enjoy it with your current husband. The focal point should be the understanding of the qualities a man would need to have to make a marriage happy and fulfilling. Good Luck.

Answer 6

WHO is to say you were wrong- if you were not happy then you made a life altering decision. Starting over in a different direction may just be the way for you to achieve the goals you have set for yourself. As for finding another man- truly find yourself first the rest will come when the time is right.

Answer 7

You married a man you did not truly love you were after the gold $$$$ now you and your husband have paid the price. You found all materials had nothing to do with true happiness I applaud you for finally waking up Don't deceive yourself or anyone else again and you should be OK.Keep helping the less fortunate it will be good for the soul. Good luck

Answer 8

Several possibilities:

If you're really good looking, some men are intimidated by that, they figure you can have anyone you want and they won't ever measure up.

You're also fighting the fact that you left a guy who loved you and gave you a lot of things most guys can't afford.

A lot of guys probably won't see it from your perspective. They're going to think "gee, this other guy loved her, was able to give her everything and she still divorced him -- what chance do I really have?"

Right or wrong -- that's what some of them are going to hear.

I wish you the best.

Answer 9

The only thing that matters in your case, is a "satisfied mind". I applaud you for doing, what was "right" to do. How many others out there continue to live a lie, just for money and what it can afford them? You have character, and character is something to be proud of.You will find a good man, and be happy, for the first time. I wish you well. It does me good to hear that there is somebody in the world that is NOT ruled by the almighty dollar. Keep up the good work!

Answer 10

Here's the only thing wrong that you did: you lied.

Marriage is a life long commitment. Most wedding vows include a line such as "in riches or poverty" and "as long as we both shall live." Well, you were in riches! And you're both still alive! So you broke your vow! You lied!

What you left for could be argued to be the more honorable road than the one you were living. You were living a life of luxuray, now you're living a simple life. I happen to like the simple life, and I live below my means because of it. Maybe that's something you could have tried instead of leaving your husband? Living below your means?