My fiance is great but we are trying too arrange our wedding but he doesn't seem to want to make decisions or talk bout it that much. The thing is I seem to be the one looking but he has said he wants to get married in march 08. He said its because its normally for a woman, but i dont want anything just to get married but i just dont wanna do it alone. Is there anyway i can get him to contribute. As i have had to book a day next weekend to have a look in the mags he bought me last week. Can anyone give me any ideas as he set the date but he seems to do things at the last minute but i dont. Can someone help me get ideas on how to get him interested in contributing towards it by giving his ideas as well. My only wish was to have my parents there but that wont happen now as my mum died 7 years ago and dad abandoned me. And i wont to share the responsibility of arranging this.
2007-05-07 02:54:11 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I know he wants to get married he has been determined bout that for ages but i just need help as i have to work 6 days a week and dont have time to arrange a whole wedding by myself.
2007-05-07 03:14:10 · update #1
It's not going to be easy to get him interested. Most of the men I know (including me) were only too happy to avoid having anything to do with the wedding planning beyond arranging for the tux and giving the bride a list of guests to invite. However, normal practice doesn't seem to apply here, unless you have sisters who will dive in and help you out. I think that, as hard and unpleasant as it's going to be to him, your fiance is just going to have to bite the bullet and help you out. I think your best bet is to simply explain to him that you and he don't have a choice - you need help and he is the only help available. You can try to make it more palatable by offering lots and lots of reward - much affection, appreciation, snuggling, etc. Don't try to be subtle - lay it out there clearly without a lot of histrionics (although few men can resist an appeal to their egos - eg "You're so good at this, and I need the help so badly!") Most of us don't respond well to reproachful blackmail, though. If you want to coerce a man, sex usually does the trick just fine. Keep him in a happy daze and he'll be putty in your hands (but you should already know this). Don't ever forget, though, that most of us would rather pull our own teeth than help plan a wedding (especially our own - it's hard enough contemplating actually getting married, let alone helping to plan it!)
2007-05-07 03:20:18 · answer #1 · answered by John R 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi hun,
It's a shame he doesn't want to contribute, but in all honesty it's probably because he has absolutely no clue!
Weddings are for many men (not all men) not important. You rarely hear of a man who's planned his wedding since he was a boy, but you hear of many girls who have.
It's a different situation of course, but my boyfriend is happy to let me take over with things such as decorating. Even though it's actually HIS flat and he'll be living there, he says "I'm rubbish at this and you're really creative, so go for it!" It's probably the same for your fiance - he thinks you'll be better at it than him and he probably doesn't really care that much about what flowers to have or what cake to choose!
I think you just have to tell him that you want him to help! Tell him that he's helping, and he has no choice, lol! He might surprise himself by becoming interested in it.
If I got married to my boyfriend, I know I'd want him to help choose things. I don't think the bride should plan the whole thing.
Good luck!
xx Emmie
2007-05-07 10:05:49 · answer #2 · answered by Sparklepop 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
the thing is about weddings is that men just do not understand. i suggest you sit with your fiance and tell him that you need him to give a little more. explain as best you can how your wedding day means so much to you and how much you need his help. if he loves you, he will try. but, a word of advice........explain to him exactly what it is you need him to do. unlike a woman, he will not automatically know. he needs to be told with exact instructions
2007-05-09 09:01:49 · answer #3 · answered by fat momma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie ask him if this is the shape of things to come,
it might make him realise that he is being a tad selfish.
Has he a sister or another relative that may stand in on his behalf?
2007-05-11 06:09:49 · answer #4 · answered by sylvie c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you sure he wants too get married just keep on to him tell him just how much this means to you for him to contribute and have ideas bless tell him its not just your day its his as well all the best and i hope it all works out for you both ...
2007-05-07 10:10:03 · answer #5 · answered by skye 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey, that is the way it is with weddings, men don't really care about that all that much.
2007-05-07 10:02:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They dont care much so leave him alone
2007-05-08 20:58:11 · answer #7 · answered by AsPOEStertjie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him how much you can spend and does he care what you spend the money on?
2007-05-07 10:02:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋